i like what you're doing here- the idea's very solid. though i wonder if you've bitten off too much; it feels as if the heart/puzzle is the main idea here and the shoe is there for show? i dunno, gut reaction.



and hey, if you could check mine out and post some feedback, I'd really appreciate it!

I like the combination; it's kind of non-sequitor, but they can work well together. I'd say switch the puzzle piece motif for broken glass, and have the shoe be stepping on the heart.



And of course, we need some color in this sucka (but that's why it's a WIP).

lol thanks, that could be pretty awesome! :]

I would try to make the message as clear as day. Also I am not really sure what the lines on the right are..the one that goes away from the shoe and then onto the right shoulder. I agree adding color would be cool, also it seems like the bottom of the shoe and the shadow of the shoe are blending in together a bit too much. Great drawing! I love the details in the shoe laces!

I kind of agree that the shoe and heart don't have much to do with each other.

any help with mine? Kanga Gangsta

Oh, the lines were the edges of the page where the heart was drawn. As for the shadows and shoe, i'm not sure how to fix that yet; the scanner blended the values a little.



Instead of the heart, what should it be? a puddle w/ reflection?

Hmm... I'm not sure what it means, but I like it!



Cut out the trace lines from scanning the page and seen how it looks.

Umm, no idea what it means but I do like it. I think the two images need to be combined, like having the shoe treading on the missing heart piece.



Please crit!

I think it's nearly perfect. I love the sketchbook look... the only thin I would do is make the shoe a tad smaller, make the lines darker if you can (probably just up the contrast) and then maybe see if you could fill in the heart with blood-red watercolor, or even technicolor! :D

Dig the pencil work. How about a foot print on the heart-that's why the pieces need to be put back togwther?

Please check out the latest version of my design.

I like the sketchbook look of the shoe, but maybe you should treat the heart the same way? It looks too empty and doesn't have the same visual weight as the shoe.



Check mine out:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/52186/Frtrck

you applied a nice teenage touch to it.

the puzzle piece u used looks like a human figure, may be u can work on it a lil more to make the story popout. but thats just my opinion.



Plz if you have some time check mines





thx

My teen girls would love this shirt. Use a real tee template, it makes a real difference.

i see what you mean by ours being similar... nicely done.



i dont see the correlation between the heart and the shoe? am i missing something blatantly obvious?

Originally the shoe's stepping on a note with the heart on it. (that what the funky lines are but it looks quite a bit different on a t template than it did when i sketched it in pen...) Right now i'm re-sketching the design to make that look a bit more obvious, and probably adding in a foot print on the note. it'll probably be up within a few days.

ahh i see :) nice idea. it might be more obvious if you remove the shoe altogether and just have the heart with a footprint on it???

probably, but then i'd feel bad as the shoe was the focal point. haha. besides, if i did just the heart, it'd be too close to your design, so where would the originality go? Oh, and out of context that would look a little weird, so the shoe would need to be there i think.

I really like the idea, but maybe you could make the shoe a little smaller and have a few more pieces falling off, like the shoe stepping some?



If you get the chance, check out mine?

link...http://www.threadless.com/critique/53372/Breakdancing

hihi,



hmm I do think the shoe is a bit distracting. I like the heart puzzle by itself actually. I can't connect the two images. Could you explain what you were trying to convey? other than that, its a good start;)

nuriko001, check out one of my earlier comments for the idea. also look at boonos design to see why i can't just have the heart. :]

Ok so here's the latest and not so greatest.

I decided to add some color, and make it a little more obvious that the heart was on a note. I haven't added the foot print on the note yet, but I'm not sure how to balance the color. I tried adding the green tint to the laces, but I'm not sure how i feel about it. Help!!

this is a great concept! I like the sketch feel it has! The perspective is very unique. All you need is something to imply the note has been stepped on (as you said.) Great work! Keep this one going!

wicked. thanks!

I think there is too much shadow on the shoe. I didn't understand it was a shoe right away until I read your comment.



Also, the shadow under the note doesn't match with the shadow of the shoe...unless there are two lighting sources...;-)



If you get rid of the shoe shadow (or lessen it), I think it'll look much tighter...



I'm also a little concerned that they might not print on the collar of the shirt...I don't know for sure tho.



The puzzle piece seems a little large on the bottom to fit that space...maybe copy the piece and rotate it to see if it fits?



I like the hand drawn look and the shoe is a perfect chuck taylor! =)

well, there were two diff sorces, but i'll lessen the shadow on the show. The difference from the sketch to copier/scanner was huge, i just haven't taken the time to mess with it much in photoshop yet.

As for the puzzle piece, i actucally made sure it didn't quite fit. It's a little subtle, but it's kind of saying, once you love someone a little piece of them belongs to you. It won't always fit, but it'll always be there... ya know?

And thanks! i'll get to work on that shadow deal asap!

any other helpful tips?

i think there are a lot of subtleties, maybe too many for a shirt. i like the composition, but the note could look a little more like a note. maybe try shading the different quarters of the note instead of using black lines.

I agree with the others, a bit more difference between the shoe and shadow would help, as would some definition on the note. If you wouldn't mind, look at my design

Before going much further, use a different shirt to model the image on- this design relies so much on its unique placememnt and scale I think it might make a big difference

How about crumpling the note? Really cute design. Just, if keep the "sketchy" look to keep it under 8 colors. ^^



Check Out My "Broken Heart".

okay, haven't really done too much, just lightened the shadow on the show. Haven't had time for much else. Does the shoe's shadow look ok, or should i completely re-sketch it?

Help!! :]