7 color design. Still working on the last image. As this is my very first submission to threadless, please give me any tips, comments, ideas,... whatever. What do you think?

the wave and cloud in this position dont work i think..

good point on the cloud.

make the cloud in perspective, too, and the sun. I think then it'll all work.



Care to critique mine?

I think the title explains it perfectly. The wave and clouds make the shape of a sundae with the sun as a cherry on top. Maybe move the clouds up slightly to make the "ice cream" fuller.

lovely t shirt design :D



Check this out :

http://www.threadless.com/critique/48957/Michael_Jackson

ho... took me a while to get it.. :D my bad..

ah ffffuck

i just got it.



sorry about the whole 'perspective thing.'

looks good the way it is!

Keep me informed if you submit any new version.



Check this out : (Michael Jackson Version 3)

http://www.threadless.com/critique/48957/Michael_Jackson#v3

Sweet. Great style.



Maybe for the 8th colour, a light cream for the sail (or use half tones of the tan colour). It'd make the sail a little more subtle.

Ah-- I only just got the sundae too.



I think you need to shade the missing part of the glass (even if its a light blue that's only slightly noticeable against the shirt).



Cool.

very nice..i like it! looks good.



mind to score my Kings Throne??

Still a 7 color design. Before I finish the back image (slide 3) I thought I'd take some of the input I've gotten so far. I raised the clouds' "ice cream" and made it thicker and added gulls to imply the sundae's "glass" highlights. I may still use an eighth color (cream) for the sail, but wanted to see if anyone had other ideas on where an eighth color could work.



New thoughts?

Still a 7 color design. Only changed the first slide as follows (2nd and 3rd slides remain the same):



Before I finish the back image (slide 3) I thought I'd take some of the input I've gotten so far. I raised the clouds of "ice cream" and made them thicker, as well as adding gulls to imply the sundae's "glass" highlights. I may still use an eighth color (cream) for the sail, but wanted to see if anyone had other ideas on where an eighth color could work.



New thoughts?

I say use it for the sail. It's looking good.



A comment and score would be awesome:)

Do you mean all of the white is too stark? Or just in a particular section (clouds, surf, sail). Unfortunately I haven't figured out halftones in flash. Will have to look that up. It might work.

I don't think I would have saw the seagulls making the bumps in the glass.... Don't get rid of them though, i like them still. Keep working it. Coming together nicely.

Very creative design.



I say; GO FOR THE CREAM SAIL!

it's looking good.



and um i have a question, could you explain/tell me how you do slides. I'm new to the whole thing so I sorta clueless...

thanks

I'll post the link here. The flash template was provided by Manos.

okay thanks.

lovin that wave

Hey Berbs!



Thanks for your comments. Nice first design you have there! I don't actually have any suggestions for you right now....how about giving the samurai a sword or will this cut into the 8 colour limit?

I think that the concept would be more clear if there was a little more definition on the right side below the bird. Otherwise it's great

I would say make the boat / samurai bigger so you can see him clearer (hes awesome) and maybe clean up some of those blue lines under the boat, otherwise love the idea, Id think about placing it more in the lower left side of the shirt rather than front on but thats just me

I really love this. One thing bugs me though - those seagulls look a little on the large sidge compared to the guy and boat.



Please score and comment on my recent submission, thanks.

yup probably the samurai bigger would tell the story better ;)

Rey, FrenchFries - I'll do a version with the samurai and boat a bit larger, and work a bit on the blue lines as said. The original concept was simply an arrangement that depicts an ice cream sundae, and all of these parts were meant to be entirely unrelated to a sundae (that, and I also originally wanted it to appear like an ukiyo-e woodblock print, but the more I worked on it, the more cartoony it became). I didn't intend on telling a story, but with the addition of a second image for the back, this does become a basic story (2 related images together = sequential art), so let's see what a larger character will do to the composition.

Rey, FrenchFries - I will try a version with te samurai and boat a bit larger, and I'll work on the blue lines. I hadn't intended on telling a story at first but with the addition of a second image on the back it becomes a basic storyline (2 related images together = sequential art).



The original concept was simply an arrangement that depicts an ice cream sundae, and all of the parts of said arrangement would be unrelated to a sundae (that and I started off wanting it to look like an ukiyo-e print, but the more I worked on it the more cartoony it became).

Doh! I didn't think the first one went through, so I tried remembering what I wrote! Comment-Fail.



ill-technique, Chris Rowan - the gulls were added only to depict the highlights from the ridges that are on a sundae cup because it did feel that the right side was missing some of that "cup" definition. I hope that the implied line from the largest seagull to the sail is enough. Realistically, though, yeah, I would have made them smaller and further in the background.



Q: Would the idea of making the samurai and boat larger help with this? a larger sail might help with the implied outer edge of the "glass".



Thoughts?

nice idea keep up with the gud work is coming up gr8. google Okusai to make the tip of the wave better.



plz comment on mine:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/48828/colourful_bliss

thank you

Submit this

Do you mean to do that to make it more like ukiyo-e?



I figured that at this point, it would be best to keep more of the cartoon feel and less of the woodblock concept that I started with (well before I submitted for critique and only in the earliest sketches).

sweet piece.the top of the waves are a bit hard to make out with the clouds,though.

Here's an updated version:

- Samurai and boat a bit larger,

no work has been done yet on the blue lines

Bigger? Is it it now too big? Placement on the wave?

- Cream sail (8 color design now)

still need to find time to try to figure out halftones in ai

is this a good cream color? less harsh than the white before?

- Pulled the "ice cream" cloud away from the wave a bit so you can see some sky

also thickened up the edges of the wave near the cloud to make it distinct

(they should appear to be slightly closer on the viewing plane)

- Gulls are also slightly bigger to emphasize the edge of the "glass"

although, not as large of an increase as the samurai and boat

- Friend suggest black t-shirt so the third slide is the design on black.... Like it? Hate it?

Still open for more fine tuning back and forth.

PLEASE let me know what your thoughts are!! Thanks!!

I said I was open to more "fine-tuning", but really I want to take into consideration ANY suggestions you guys have!!



Even if it'll make a ginormous change!

Again, Thank you... Having a ton of fun with this.

one question: is the yellow thing above the guys head part of the sail or his hat. Because if it was part of his head it really blends in with the sail

It is indeed part of his helmet.

Anyone have suggestions on how to separate? (I'm now down to the eight colors depicted)

A shadow behind it, maybe???

Maybe... Which color?

mayb have a thin black line around the whole samurai as his hands are mergin into the background too

Or maybe even a halftone shadow of which color?

Thin black line? Worth a shot!

(I intentionally made his right hand bigger since the outline was the color of the boat... but I could always try black)

Im not digging the black, I prefer the blue.



I think that the problem with the sail is that the edge that is closer to us should be higher than the back edge. Also the shadow going across it is confusing, esp. when the fork on his helmut is the same color, what if the fork were red?

Stick with the blue.

Black just looks funny.



I deff think you need to outline the little man's hand, get rid of that thing on his helmet.



the black outline? have you tried making it the same dark blue that outlines the clouds and wave? It looks good how it is, but perhaps to make it blend better?



just suggestions to think about.

thanks for your help with the flash

good luck designing!

Sticking with the blue background! (unless I hear otherwise (or other suggestions for t-shirt colors)



Will outline to samurai's hands.



Regarding the black outline: Do you mean I should change the color of the outline around the boat and sail from black to blue? That black outline?

And I was happy to help with the flash!! Good luck to you as well!!

Hey Berbs



I would stick to the blue...looks way better.

ithink to much details on waves. they combine with clouds

um , the only thing i noticed was the sun in the clouds, it looks like it is in front of the clouds, idk if that was on perpous, but it looks a bit out of place, Its really cool though!



Id appreciate it if you'd take a look at mine as well!

http://www.threadless.com/critique/49993/A_Sweet_Encounter

It was indeed on purpose; I wanted to evoke the image of a cherry on top of a sundae.

Would it lose the this appearance if I placed it as it would be in the real world? (half-hidden behind the clouds? and would doing so make it less cartoon-like?)

This design is actually pretty cool but the clouds should look more creamy and you need to find a way to fill the whole thing because the blank area is pretty confusing. Maybe make a dragon curl around the other side of the way to close the cup and make the dragon head go higher the the sun to make it look sort've like a straw.



Check out my IAMROBOT plz.

Blue is definitely better. You have a very cool style. LOVE the clouds! Maybe move the placement down so the bottom of the design matches the bottom of the shirt.

I did consider putting in a dragon (though much smaller than your suggestion) to create a stem for the cherry. Would that also work to also work to help reinforce the idea of the Sundae? I think putting another element on the right side to make the glass would make it too busy, and the implied line should be enough. You know, keeping it simple (as it is, its pretty complex)



Any one else Agree? Disagree?



I do like the idea of making this hit the bottom of the shirt, so I may have to try that as well.



Please keep the comments coming!!!

Something about this design just makes me feel happy. Although something about the samurai's head and the sail feels a little weird. Maybe move him forward and somehow incorporate a mast? Still, I love the Sunday^^

Would you consider removing the black from the samurai/boat? Everything else is outlined in blue and I think it might give it a stronger sense of design unity, making it easier to see the sundae shape.



I definitely don't think it needs more elements, and I really like your sense of line and shape. In fact (if you're still open to changing it around a bunch), I think it would be cool to see the outlines removed entirely, so the illustration sits like cutout shapes. Might make it too abstract though, maybe I'm just inspired by the use of shape and want to see it go balls out.



Extraordinarily clever, btw. Very nice job.

I also agree with Makkarei that the sail looks like it is sprouting from his head.

I love it! It's really awesome!



I do agree about the mast though--it seems like there needs to be one. And the main thing--the birds have no place in the sundae as far as I can tell. Can they be higher and muticolored like sprinkles?? They just seem like they need purpose.



check mine?

Why's it called "Samurai Sundae"? I think it's interesting, I just don't get it.

http://www.threadless.com/submission/223964/Sweet_Dream

Whoops! Sorry...

Party Foul! $5 Penalty!

Nice Designn!!!





Please can you critique mine?



Url: http://www.threadless.com/critique/50026/From_The_Begining



Url for Presentation: http://www.swfcabin.com/open/1249343474



Thank You

Okay, I am enjoying the flow altogether on the picture.

The cream for the sail is nice, it prevents a repetitive motion of white through the whole picture, it breaks the plans into a nice separate area. I think a thicker outline on the whip cream clouds would be nice, almost like it was mimicking a Japanese wood print in a manner.



Note: I do not like it with a black background. It creates a discoloring of the blue/green waves, it makes the waves pop the most and destroys the harmony that the blue brings. If you want to change the colors, maybe a pastel color but to do a strong color like black or red hardens the composition and takes away from the fine details.

Hey Berbs



Thanks once again for your comments! I've been following this one since the first version and though it is is a lovely design!

Sorry, but once again, I don't actually have any suggestions for this design...i personally think that it looks great now. My only input would be the samurai's hands being outlined (but i think it has already been addressed). The seagulls representing the edge of the glass i'm not really seeing in the design, but then again, i'm still trying to develp my artistic eye! :-)



Oh, and its great to hear that you used Flash for this design! I thought the majority of people are using AI and PS. I also use Flash for mine too and am working out halftones!



If i have any further ideas, i'll let you know...well done with the progress so far!

u should put a real sundae on the icon.. i think it will help..

Ok, changed up some stuff here. (did you catch the three "sundae" images in the loading icon?)



Samurai Sundae - An arrangement of elements that depicts an ice cream sundae, and all of these parts are meant to be entirely unrelated to the parts they play in said sundae.



Jeiji ilva yas - Does the loading icon help with the image and the way you see the "sundae" that is composed with the elements? (if you mean the little icon you with the close up of the samurai, I don't know if I can change that until I actually submit this. Does anyone know if that's possible?)



impish, Makkarei, charity.ryan - I changed the color of the ornament on the helmet so that it is associated more with the samurai, and not the sail. Does that work or do I still need to separate the two so they don't overlap? I am also working on ideas for a mast so that the sail isn't completely floating above the boat. I really didn't want to remove the black from the outlines, so when I added the "cherry stem" and "spoon" dragons, I kept their outlines black as well. Does that help with the unity by allowing the color black to be incorporated throughout the image?



Libster , Xenostatica - Sticking with the blue!! And as you can see I am trying the placement at the bottom of the shirt! In print this would make the finer details show up quite clearly I think! Any thoughts on this from anyone?



charity.ryan, OrangeSensation - The Samurai's hands have been outlined to ensure that his right hand isn't lost in the color of the boat! As for the birds: With regard to the "sundae" composition, they are meant to highlight the on ridges on the outer edge of a sundae cup. (See the last slide for numerous sundaes - many repeated, but I hope everyone can see where I got the basic elements that were used in my design - save for the spoon).



Xenostatica, TigerBill - Thank you, Tiger Bill!! Once I added the sail color, it really took some of the cold harshness away from the work. I may try for a softer look to the ice cream clouds. Earlier I mentioned that the design was originally intended to look like an ukiyo-e print, but evolved to have more of a cartoon feel as I created the first version. I could still try to grab elements from those woodblock prints, but I really like the feel it has right now.



Brightwood - I am still trying to figure out how to get this into ai in such a way that I can easily work with it; right now, when I bring it over, the colors change and there are so many vector points that I have no idea how to select the items that I want to add halftones to (and since I haven't gotten to that point I still don't know how to add said halftones).



Also, adjust the shape of the sail and the shadow at it's base. Does that make more sense?



Whew! That's a lot!!

Thank you all for the input!! This represents only some of the suggestions. Still working on others.

New thoughts??

I should add that I'm still not really satisfied with the look of the "spoon" dragon, nor it's placement. Perhaps it should come out from the lower cloud and no right from the top?

I think the dragon should be higher. And the design should have much less time to become more concentrated.

I kinda like it... the dragon should be a little higher. Where's the icecream? ;)

maybe you can have the spoon dragon facing out of the clouds, instead of turning back into them and forming the spoon. he also has too much black compared to all the other lines.

Cool! I like the ice cream wave very much.

GRRR! I still don't get it!!!

Party Foul! $5 Penalty!

Not so sure about the spoon dragon. It took me a minute to figure out what it was. Love the other one though.

Love the design, but if the white dragon had a heaver line around the head and thinner on the tail it may look less spoon like

really cool concept;)



the right side seems unbalanced though. I think the birds should be going up in a diagonal direction.. maybe that will tie the entire piece!



(I really like the spoon ;)

i really like this, and i think it's there pretty much, it just needs some cleaning up (i know i hate that too), but just some places some of the paths look a little bit sloppy, try adding (if this is illustrator) an outline of like 1 pt. of the same color, just see how it looks



thanks for your comment on mine!

that's pretty tight. the white dragon, well, it's kinda hard to tell it's a dragon, i didn't know what it was at first... maybe add some scales or bring the head above the body or something... but otherwise i like it... :D



rtf and critique me

I like the placement on the tee. It looks cool!

Hey Berbs!



The addition of the green dragon on the cherry is great! I'm not a big fan of the other dragon tho (spoon). IMO, i think it should be left out. Apart from that, great progress!



Is it just me that thinks the idea of this design is really simple tp understand? Seems like people still arent getting it. Maybe the 'sundae' isn't the same in other countries? Curious about that...hmmm...I fancy a sundae now....:-)

I undertstand why you used the birds, that area just looks sparse. Can a fish/whale be jumping out of the water beneath them? And I liked it better without the spoon.



You're clearly putting alot of effort into this and it looks really great over all. At this point you have alot of comments to consider and obviously you can't take the opinion of everyone. Best of luck!

it seem really chinese kinda thing, try adding elements like fish (koi) ? About the white dragon, i couldn't tell until i read someone else comments sorry x(. Try making it more obvious prehaps?

@Crays, OrangeSensation1, ruff44, lucyfair, Libster, isawa, fermac87, Winck - I'm actually removing the White "Spoon" Dragon from the latest version; without it the piece looks a little more balanced. (sorry nuriko001!)

@charity.ryan, KittyCapRap - I'm thinking of adding another wave to the background and layering some clouds back there (all within the confines of the "cup" - so, right there around the birds).

@pixls - also working on cleanup in some parts but will really dive into it once I settle on the included elements.

@Jeiji - Sorry!! :(

@Ian-S - Thanks! I think the next version will keep the same placement, and it'll fit better without that white dragon!

hi Berbs42 , thanks for the comments on mine!



Your design looks good, but I just feel like it lack of a dramatic touch, can't really tell what is it... or maybe because when I first graced the illustration, i didn't know where I should focused on, the dragon or the little red one? the wave or the cloud? they are competing on the position, right now, it's a bit too many things are on the picture... ( sorry about my poor English, don't know if i made it clear... :-(

Yeah I think that white dragon is throwing things off too much. And I'd hop that when seen on a tee, you see the image at first as a whole "the sundae" and not immediately focus on a particular part. Thanks, though!!



I'm thinking for the next version, I'll have slide one be someone in the tee and save the design for the next slide.

Agree? Disagree?

nice one!

ahhhh, that's the point.

i like the idea, it's out there, so im not sure youll get everyone with it, but good design! :)

I like the samurai character, I think it looked better without the dragon, maybe if the dragon was part of the wave arching over the dude in the boat?

Love the concept, and it's really well illustrated. I agree that the dragon is putting it off balance, but it's a shame to see such a nice piece of the image thrown away. It looks really effective when applied to the T-shirt, I'd wear it proudly.

too much elements and the samurai don't get enogh attention, and I don't understand what is happening there. In a t-shirt design you must communicate in an universal language. I think the samurai and the waves are enogh, you complicate the story with the dragon, birds....

There should be some contrast between the clouds and the wave. Try thickening the lines around the clouds



My Design

Samurai Sundae - An arrangement of elements that depicts an ice cream sundae, and all of these parts are meant to be entirely unrelated to the parts they play in said sundae.



Ok, for all who felt he didn't fit in: the White "Spoon" Dragon is gone!! History!! (for those few out there that MAY have liked him: At least you still have the Green "Cherry Stem" Dragon?



For those that felt the right side of the "Sundae Glass" needed some completion: I've thrown in a quick wave for your consideration. I tried layering clouds to fill this void, but a second (or continuing) wave was the best solution I could apply so far.



The Seagull "Ridges" remain. They are a minor element that shouldn't necessarily be noticed at first glance; would it help this if I placed them over the clouds? (Letting them get lost in the clouds - would that work to give the impression of few elements as well?)



I know the Cherry Stem Dragon was another addition to the piece, but he really makes the Suna Cherry.



Big question: Should he be green (like the standard cherry stem), red (like the stems on maraschino cherries for sundaes such as this), or some combination of the two? (Right now I have to say, I do like the green, but it isn't exactly that maraschino look)



If I thickened the lines at the bottom of the clouds to make them look less fluffy and more like the dark bottoms of thunderheads would that take away from top of the Sundae?



The samurai will be highlighted on the back of the shirt (as seen in v1 - slide three), but I'm not finishing that one until I finish this one. I do like the idea of two more design sprouting from this concept; the samurai by himself might become a theme carried into more images, and a simple ice cream/whipped cream sky with a cherry sun sounds like a delight!!



Everyone's help has been much appreciated!! And I think I addressed everyone so far.

Still have much to clean up, and much to contemplate (the mast, halftones, etc...)



Please keep the comments and suggestions coming! They've been invaluable thus far!



THANK YOU!!

Sweet!! This makes me so hungry! lol. I like the way the design flows as well as the colors you used :) Nice work!



I tried your idea! Would you care to look at my design again?

Longer dragon, looks like an eel. Maybe clouds or smoke on ground level. Color choice is well along, good distinction. Addition of wave is a nice touch. Seems like the mast should be kept empty



Help Me Out

I say is pretty much ready. I can't think of anything to suggest. Nice work!

This is sooo fun



critique my peacock?

I love how the waves make the cup

I think this is super cute. The dragon needs a bit of work though. Perhaps the tiniest puff of smoke from his nostrils would help. Also, he looks a bit too separated from the cherry. Otherwise I dig it.

Wow, this one is neat! Sub it!

This is coming together very well. That wave is beatiful. I have 2 suggestions, but not sure if they are needed:

1: A simple logo for the sail

2: a pole connecting the sail to the boat.



A logo on the sail might be distracting, but it might not hurt to see what it looks like.

I meant Beautiful :)

Man, it is so much fun seeing how designs progress over time! Super respect to you Berbs and juggling all the comments!



Personally, I think this looks fab! Glad the white dragon is gone.

You've done such a great job! It's really awesome! SUB!

This definitely should be a Scratch and Sniff shirt.

@Typhoon Samurai - Why do you think the green dragon looks like an eel? Are the back legs too small? (I tried to hide them in the body in order to keep the "cherry stem" look - should they be bigger?) +1 vote for NO MAST.



@pulpodesign - I thought about adding a red tongue from his mouth; I was looking at a lot of Japanese dragons and most had the wagging tongue. Would it help to tie him to the cherry if her were red instead of green? (or red AND green?)



@ryinghill - I like the idea of a logo, I'll try it and see if it works. +1 vote for MAST



So what do y'all think MAST or NO MAST?



@kenfrost - I would love this as scratch and sniff!!!



@everyone I just mentioned plus: Jordan Jinx, a-monkey-in-a-box, Jennifer Skiba, Donatella Foxy, teagirl, Orange Sensation1, charity.ryan - Thank you for the comments, praise, and suggestions, and constructive crits!! They are all most helpful! The community of designers here at Threadless has been one of the most honest and forthcoming with information from all ends of the spectrum!! Thank you thank you thank you!!

This is an excellent visual conciet! Also, a mast might be good. :)

yep, i like it!!!

the only thing i'd change is the cherry on the top, work on it a little more and then, sub!

@Adelaide Blue - What about the sun/cherry would you change?



MAST=2

NO MAST=1

HAHAHAHA! Yay! NOW I GET IT! The only thing I don't get is what the stem of the cherry is made of. And I think the mast should stay, but it should represent something as a part to the sundae? Dunno, but I like this more.

Jaws of HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! .... Heh... Lawl...

very nice indeed!

@ Jeiji - Glad it's working for you!! I'm sorry but the boat doesn't yet have a mast for the sail. Do you mean that it should? And the Cherry Stem is a dragon (based on those from Japan) that has just flown in front of the Sun/Cherry - see the 3rd slide in this version for a close-up.



@Kzeesdesign - Thanks!!

No problem! But I do think that there should be SOMEthing as the spoon. I don't know if a mast would work for that, but I think you need one on there, since it IS a boat, just put it peeking behind the sail. But something needs to be the spoon. That'd totally be the icing on the cake... or the whipped cream on the shake... or the... butter... on the popcoooorn.... I'm done.

Jaws of HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! .... Heh... Lawl...

Oh, and I do see the dragon, now. Check my critique!

Jaws of HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! .... Heh... Lawl...

This has come along way, it's really nice. I think it's ready to be submitted. I especially love the sundae you've put in the model's hand :) Thanks for commenting on mine.

Don't spam your links on people's submitted designs.

Oh, wow. My bad!!! I was scoring... saw link to other people's stuff... thought, "Hey! Why not put mine too when I comment?!?" OOPS!! Won't happen again!

It looks great... no changes! Submit! :)

Hey... don't worry, man... look at what people did to MY sub:

They Killed My Score...

It almost seemed as if a mob of people went on my design after seeing my links, and murdered its score... But yeah, just read the comments, and you'll see...

But anyways, thanks for persuading me into subbingJaws of HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! .... Heh... Lawl...! I'm puttin' some presentation on it!

The colours are really soothing, and the actual concept is genius. I think the sail needs something on it, it takes up a lot of space and doesn't have anything on it, a contrast since the rest of the shirt is so lively. In fact, it may just work by making the mast a bit smaller.

i'm going to be honest i didn't get the whole sundae thing until this version and i like it much better now.

i think the cherry stem should be red, at least try it out and see if it is popular. your wave on the right side sort of clashes with the main wave, if the sail was not there, i think they would look odd together. the blank mass is a significant size, maybe add some brown (chocolate) to it?

Thanks for the comment!

This is great! I think that the coulds should be a little cleaner.. like the lines should all be the same width instead of almost disappearing around the curves and being very prominent in other parts of the cloud's outline.. other than that the only thing that I can see that I would fix is the little boat doesn't seem to have a mast.. it looks like the sail is floating..

And for the presentation, I would clean up the last panel, it's a little pixelated, other than that, it's perfect, awesome job!

this is really nicely done, my only real concern is with the dragon and the sun. The dragon def. needs to be a bit bigger (what if you incorporated him into the waves), and the clouds that are behind the sun needs to be moved down a bit so it's more like the sun is sitting on top of them. Other than that, I really like it. the samurai is really cool.



Good luck, I'm interested to see what you do with this.



If you get a chance I really appreciate some feedback on Alone in the woods.



Also, if you could toss a vote my way for Chick In A Box!, that would be cool too.



Thanks.

I'm not a fan of the little man. He lacks poignancy. I think maybe if he were riding a banana (like representative of a banana split), this might work better.



Also, i think the cloud (icecream top) needs to flow better from the wave, almost as if the wave fluff is becoming the cloud/ icecream....?



I love the fact the image looks like a sundae in a glass!



Can you take a look at my new version of Spotted (or "Untitled" currently!!)? I need some Dr Seuss colour ideas.



Thanks!! :)

I kinda like how it is now, I think if you over work it then it might loose the whole theme that you have going.



I like the sea gulls, i dont think you should shade the clouds, but i still think the dragon is too small, just because its a bit hard to make out.



Also you mentioned a mast, and the sail does look a little like it is floating, but that might be ok because the samurai character kind of hides that.



Its good, i would say dont over modify too much.

I completely agree with Average Joe. Of course everybody has their own opinion on how a design can be improved but considering how much change has gone into it since the first version (I've been following this from the start) then over modifying can get you to lose your perspective pon oyour original idea.



In other words...sub it!! I want this for a t-shirt! :-)

Wow, I've got a lot to consider!! Some numbers to tall for to the question: DO I NEED A MAST BEHIND THE SAIL?



Also, does anyone else want to weigh in on the CHERRY STEM COLOR?



Red or Green?



(@ work right now, so I'll respond to these new comments and anything else you all would like to add - and please do!! - when I'm on break...)



As always THANK YOU!!



P.S. Got my second critique up and would love your thoughts!!

No mast...Cherry stems are red but the green gives it balance.

Care to critique my Pink Robot?

As i said earlier, i don't think it needs more to do.

I agree that the green stem gives balance. Maybe could be interesting to see it with a mast, but i think its great just as it is now.

ok, cherry stem dragon in my opinion should be red, i think

and i think the mast is a yes, but be careful, if it looks weird it could just ruin it



my one problem is placement, right now it looks kinda weird, i think this design would look great if it was just chillin in the center of the tee, not too big, but also not too small.



also you know, i think it would look a bit better if the green in the water was a little less green, a little more blue... i'm not sure because i haven't seen it, but try it and see how it looks. if the dragon is gonna be red that's the only other part that color, i think that was clear...



anyway, it's looking great, where were you planning on putting halftones?



thanks for your support on "who needs toys?"!

hmm no preference on mast, but i woud like a red cherry stem.



also, i think your main problem with this is that japanese and sundaes don't really link so it might be a stretch to see both at one glance. either way, theres not much you can do about that.



i think your art is pretty good, but one more suggestion, perhaps change the black outlines on the boat to the blue you used on the sundae?



and yeah, about the spamming, don't do it. people just follow the link and give you a 0.

Re: Spamming on Submisions: Yeah, I know, I feel really bad about that, and only after doing so did I see the backlash released on other noobs like me.

Lesson learned!!



Re: Japan/Sundaes: There was so much ice cream when I visited japan, and so many strange, but WONDERFUL flavors, that I didn't initially see this as being too much of a stretch. But now I do begin to have some doubt; perhaps all that ice cream was for the tourists?

I think the mast needs a sail, and that the cherry stem should be red.

Or, the sail needs a mast...

Ha! It's cool. I completely got what you meant!!

(I'm just just holding off on working more on this one until I finish The Herd. - I didn't have that idea for the loves contest until a few days ago, and I only have a few days left to finish it!)



But I will finish this soon!!

I see you used my ideas wisely keep going with it and you'll get there.



Check mine plz

http://www.threadless.com/critique/50886/Dark_and_Shy_at_Day_Bright_and_Wild_at_Night

You're right about the cherry stem, but I'm not entirely certain what you would do. Red might look bland and awkward, but I don't know how you would find a happy medium between red and green. I'd like to see what you have in mind. So far I love this, the second wave is great and gives nice definition. I would buy this shirt in a heartbeat! One more thing though, I think a mast would be a good idea. It's small, but people do notice it.

A lot of people seem to have noticed it, yeah, so it'll show up in one of the next versions....

I think I'll try a version of the dragon that's red (scales, head, arms, etc...) and green (underbelly), but his design might need to be tweaked sightly.

Still, this won't happen until after the 20th of August. Gotta finish The Herd first!

But thanks guys, I've gotten so much good input on this piece!! Keep it coming!!

ahahaha. cute cute. the sail is kinda plain though. have you given any thought to putting a japanese character there?



please crit mine:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/50859/Nom_Nom

Hey Berbs



I have some suggestions now for this design! I have noticed that the majority of people have voted for the stem being red. I'm completely stumped as to why. First off, all cherries i have eaten have either green or brown stems (depending on how ripe they are). Besides, the stems stem from the tree itself so it makes sense that it will be green and then brown.

Of course, please let me know your theory into the stem colour. Maybe its a European thing.......intrigued to find out more.....



I also don't think that the dragon needs to be bigger than it is. Stems are usually thin and long but if peoples worry is that others won't be able to see it properly then i'm not sure. I think it will look a little off if it was bigger than it should be.



For the mast - was against it at first but now think one should be there.



I've also been to Japan myself so don't think it is a stretch to have this one. Guess it is mainly for tourists but i'm sure the locals also eat this too! :-)

OrangeSensation1: If you look at a marachino cherry stem (which would be the kind you usually put on top of sundaes) you'll see that its red. Regular cherries DO have green or brown stems (I just ate some a minute ago, yum), but you don't usually use them with ice cream.



Aw, I can't wait till Aug 20th! *pouts*

Wow, it came together a bit more since the last time I saw it. I like the green dragon personally^^ though I can understand if you decide to go with red. The wave to the right helps balance a lot. But that sail keeps on messing with me, it looks like he has a gigantic hat (though that would indeed be awesome



Side note, if you can check out my latest version of Samurhino that'd be great. Version 4 BG still better? Thanks in advance.

sub already.

wouldn't hurt to put this in Childhood...

Damn.. enough comments lol. Its a wicked idea and design. im not too sure about its size though, maybe you could make the sundae a bit smaller and the guy a little bigger?



Would you mind checking out my design please?

I didn't mean no mast, I meant empty mast.

This looks really good, bro!!! Keep up the great work you've been doing.

Ok, quick update.... Just to show I haven't forgotten about this!!

- The Cherry Stem Dragon is Red (completely Red, though I will try a version that has a Green "belly")

- Added a Kanji for "Samurai" to the Sail, as well as the katakana for "parfait" which is apparently what they call a sundae in japan. I actually found a lot of... unique.. japanese sundaes/parfaits on google.

Still have to add a mast!!

It will happen! (And then you guys can let me know whether or not to keep it!!)

Kinda liked the single wave as in Version 4, but anyway, I love the whole concept and execution and everything about it - it's awesome!

At first I didn't understand it, but looking back at the other versions, it made sense.. maybe I'd add an element to define the top of the glass, or the kind of double edges that refraction usually causes. But you're well on your way, the illustration is looking good.

try giving the cherry the rising sun feel with the rays shooting out. a spoon-mast?

I thought about that "rising sun" red-&-white-rays look, but didn't know if it would detract from the sundae look.



A spoon mast might work, but wouldn't it be a little small for the glass?



I wasn't sure I'd need to define the top; I'd hoped that it would appear to be slightly overfilled, and the top wouldn't be seen. But I could try some element to give it that edge.



What do y'all think of the color of the cherry? Or the added text? Hurt? Help?

(also, last day to vote and comment on The Herd!!... if you have a moment!)

the spoon could be large... make is the dragon instead of the cherry stem. it would make the appropriate size of the spoon more appropriate i think. the cherry stem could then be a more outstanding ray from the sun. i don't know if that would be very evident though.

Well, I did try a Large Spoon Dragon that was emerging from the top of the Ice Cream Clouds in an earlier version (v4?), but I didn't seem to get the look of a spoon handle, and it kind of threw the center of the image off. Do you think I should rework the spoon idea? Or will it mess with my symmetry?



This version has three slides that are almost identical.

The Japanese characters are done with differing colors, and the third slide has the the boat outlined the blue; as was used for the waves and clouds. Also, the belly of the Cherry Stem Dragon is Green.



Any preferences? How does this work for you when you see it? (refer to v6 for placement on a model)

Please give me any tips, comments, ideas,... whatever. What do you think?

how about one of those candy-twirl-sticks for the mast? i think the blue outline works. the dragon's belly is so small i feel it should simple be all red since it is barely noticeable.

looking good! maybe a little smaller on the tee though. I also like the red version.

@MetalCioffi - I like the Candy-Twirl-Stick idea!!

You mean like pirouettes?



@EricDiaz - Is that the red text or the all red Dragon?

Hey Berbs



Liking the current version! Although, i still don't really agree with the red dragon stem but i'm the minority on this one (green dragon, green stem make sense to me! :-)). I like the red Japanese characters with the blue outline on the boat.



Excellent work!

i would leave the cloud

for the rest

great design



could you help me out

with mine?



http://www.threadless.com/critique/51817/BIG_BAND

Obviously Ben has had a quick look at the design and made some a quick comment based on a 3 second glance. Its like spamming but with the minimal of comments that clearly shows he hasn't really looked at it.



Sorry but I'm writing this because this is the second time this has happened to my design. Since the overall concept of a Sundae, it would look silly without the cloud to represent the dessert don't ya think?



So Berbs, are ya gonna sub it soon?? :-)

awesome idea and cute design!

has it been finished with the mast?

btw i like the red coloured kanji the best...