So the idea is that these sandcastles are at war. Just wanted some input before i proceed. What do you think any ideas/suggestions? I'm not sure if i should have like regular knights and maybe have some fantasy stuff in there, or like having like crabs or something fighting eachother. I just added some color hastily so that you might get the idea better :)

Man, I think crab knights would be great! Or like, regular knights riding crabs?

crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights crab knights

regular knights riding crabs and using shells as swords!

and catapults and canon type shells as well.

or just crab knights - that would be awesome.

oh yay, i'm excited to see this!

Haha what digsy said! Also, you should add a lil texture to the sand castles. Make them a bit more realistic.

hehe thanks guys, knights riding crabs sounds awesome, maybe have like catupults throwing nasty jellyfish haha. I'm excited too see if my skillz are sufficient to pull this of :D It's gonna be a fun challenge

So I added some crabriders, more coming up:). What do you think? Ideas/suggestions?

haha

thats awesomee



if you can

you should have like, a knight flying on a seagull or something?

lol



thad be pretty cool

crab knights are the coolest thing ever.



it's really heavy on the right side though. put something on the left to balance it out.



maybe a lobster or something.

thanks, I'm gonna ad some more knights and crabs when i got time :) a knight riding a seagull sounds cool, I'll try it :D haha any more awesome ideas?

Well, 1) It needs color, and 2) It needs a knight riding a whale emerging from the water...

Color coming later, haha knight on whale (stranded?) haha I might try it. Thanks. More ideas/suggestions?

not realy into it in black and white, might be better in colour.



http://www.threadless.com/critique/46753/Odd_sOckS

I'm gonna color it later when I have all the elements :P

good night bump

Hooray for regular knights riding crabs! hahaha :)

My only suggestion right now is maybe a little less bloody, the gore limits your audience a little. Maybe bring it from R to PG-13.

Idea is great! Maybe more knights and crabs. The one knight on the far rt. with arrows seems to be a little stretched out or flat. I can't wait to see it in color. Love the sand castles.

Take a look at my work?

Thanks!

http://www.threadless.com/critique/46098/Ninja_on_board_in_Yellow#v10

Hehe thanks, more knights coming up, they take some time to draw :P I'll see if I can make the far right knight less stretchy, and I'll also bear in mind the gore level :P thanks

Great idea. maybe try to put more detail on the sand instead of only lines.

How bought a catapult shooting a beach ball? Also your artwork needs alot of work, the quality of the sandcastles are great, but the other stuff is kind of meh. If you cant draw it, dont put it in, or just keep practicing till it looks great. You have the talent, it just needs to lifts some weights a bit.



crit me? http://www.threadless.com/critique/46909/Call_Me_Old_Fashioned

Ha-ha! Very cool! I know you're just sketching things out so I'll just address one problem that you might want to think about before you go further with this. The potential problem is where do those castles land on a girly tee?



Also, did you see your design on the link below. Just scroll down to check it out. Cheers!



HERE

Thanks! I'm gonna try and put some more detail into the sand. I see what you mean BarlevandHops, I'm gonna try my best, hopefully I can pull it off :P

very cool! i think this is going places, cant wait to see some color!



please take a look at mine!link text

Hmmm...the design and line work is sweet but I'm worried also about the placement of this. You might have to bring those castles closer together. Um, maybe put some work into both those entryway to the castles. The white space in the doors is throwing me off slightly. You got some cool stuff happening here. Keep tweaking with it.

Thanks for the comments, hmm I'll have to think about the placement some quister, and yeah I've seen that my design was on singularitee, that was awesome :D hehe. Trash-can I think once I color it white in the entryways is going away so that they wont throw you off anymore. :P

Oh quister I also saw your song bird on singularitee, great work with that :P

Hmm I was originally planning on having like a full scale war, but the execution and placement might be better if I zoom in and have like a smaller less messy scene going on :P

i think it's a bit too much like this one

Defend the Kingdom

hmm, I see your point pixls, but I don't think it's too similiar so I'll continue working on this :P

thanks, I'll color it when it's ready

wow! this is good :D i wouldnt change anything. i like it simple as it is. can u help out with mine?



link text

The seagull knights are awesome. Maybe it could do with a sea monster in the bg. Or make it solely focused on the crab knights as characters. Good luck!

Thanks! I think I'm gonna try a more focused simplified version first :D

New v, reworked my original idea, tried to make it less messy.I also intend to color it some later on. What do you think so far?

bump

hmm i like it, i reckon it still needs something though, and i dont no what though sorry :( haha

I do like this-- Its the right kind of messy this time. I think it'll work a lot better on a sand coloured t-shirt.



If you've got some time, it'd be great if you could score my sub

Aksel, cool design! I think you could benefit from turning the crabs facing eachother, maybe with one raising a claw up "for battle". Also, the knights are getting lost in the castle background. Maybe add a darker line on the knights? or perhaps lighten the colour of the castles? Great work! :)



Could you perhaps vote on my design, Castles of Sand if you haven't already? And keep an eye out for my new design in the submissions, for the Preloved competition?



Thanks! :)

Funny xD i think the knights need to be clearer. Maybe some colour?



please crit mine if you can? here

Interesting idea! I think for the final product, you should have a lot less detail in the castles, since they take focus away from the knights. Also, how about having the knights in action poses?



If you don't mind, would you look at my Panda?

Thanks for all your comments! I'm defenetley gonna make the knights stand out more, and color it some, I'm thinking about adding some sky and water also what do you think? any other ideas? :P

bumpety

maybe you could outline the castle in brown to make the knights stand out more?



Check out mine?

i like where this is going.....i like where this is going

Like the style and idea a lot, my only suggestion is making the setting more beachy and sandy, right now it's just a very cool drawing that doesn't necessarily convey it's intention

thanks for the advice, new v coming up soon :P

Now with some color, what do you think? Ideas?

klick button to see placement

bump

it's very italian looking.. would say the line on those knights are very good.. you have one of those illustrate line quality.



Try playing with space like more space between two knights or shrink picture down..



and thx for the comment

Thanks! :)

looks great...but I think you could work a little more to illustrate better your initial idea..a battle betwen sand castles:D...IMO those two knights have nothing to do with your concept...use only sea creatures;)

thx for the comment

btw.... how can I do a slide like this?and how you submit this kind of doc.?

can you reply on my crit. page?

thx

i like the sand castles but make them with some grain texture and the crabs needs more detail, also you can try with a wave background :)

please comment on mine

http://www.threadless.com/critique/47592/animal_cookies_loves_milk

http://www.threadless.com/critique/45896/Green_Leaves

hey looks pretty good. The crabs kind of break continuity though, I like how they are blue and red but its hard to see the line work on them try giving them black outlines like everything else.

uh.. now i suppose its time for shading the castles.. its gonna be hard work :) good luck



i really need help

thanks for the advice!

I would give more contrast to the 2 shades of color on the crabs and give the lineart on the crabs a darker shade then the fill color.



I really like the whole drawing!

Are you planning on shading the whole sandcastle?





This is my latest

Thanks for the advice ikke, I'm not sure about the shading on the sandcastles I mean I might try but It's not my strongest side hehe. :P

blue crabs rock! maybe try some detail black lines on the crabs to match the castle and knights....this is an awesome image though! love it



have a look at my 1st sub space camp, only 1 day left!

New v with some adjustments, what do you think? Any great ideas? :P



click button for placement

this is so strange and great.

I love how tall the castles are.

This actually made me laugh.

Thanks! glad you like it :P

Try varying the line weight around the outline of the castles, and adding more shadows on the castles as well. However, the red crab has a little too many shadows, it's overpowering.



How about making the people dressed in beach trash? Like toothpick swords and whatnot.

I'll defenetley try working on the shadows more, but I'm not too good at shading so it' gonna be some hard work. hmm not sure about the beach trash idea, any more ideas?

mmmm nice..., face the blue crab to the left... try to see how it looks changing the sword to a kids spade,



I need some help here:



Rainbow_Skaters



Wolfintux



Thanks

this is really awesome man! it's weird and funny, I'd definitely like to wear it.

Love this! I love the idea of it. I agree about the red crab being a little too heavy in weight, I think if you tone down the black on that front claw a lot that might do the trick. I actually like the single weight lines to the towers, there is a lot going on and I think it helps keep it simple in that sense.



Also, there is a gray area near the right mans left hand, I think if you left that empty it would define that part of his figure more, with it it almost blends into his armour. same with gray are near left mans right foot, I think your drawing is strong enough to not need the gray in those two places.



Really love it, nice work, hope it gets printed!

I like it a lot. Much better than the original. If you're not good at shading don't worry about shading, the linework stands up just fine on it's own if you ask me. I would even recommend simplifying it a bit. I would buy it.



Looking for some feedback, first tee submission: Jillian

Thanks for the feedback! I'll work some more on it as soon as i got some time over :P In the meantime anyone else have any ideas or advice?? thanks

I love the idea! A couple of things: What is over the red knights right hand?, the red knight's left foot should be behind the crab's feeler and that's it. Very fun!

This has come along really nicely.



I'd fix the foot/feeler thing then submit.

I'd turn the blue crab to face the red one more, but otherwise it's great and ready for submission!

The image clashes to much, maybe if you put the one castle on the front and the other on the back it might flow/ and look better!



If you could give mine a look, that would be great!

http://www.threadless.com/critique/47658/jelly_beans

thanks, I'll fix the foot/feeler deal:P more ideas and advice? :P

New v with some adjustments, what say you? :P

bump

I like the addition of a background in version 5.



The colors and details are spot on!

Thanks! and if you missed it click the annoying pop up button at the bottom for placement :P

I don't mind the addition of the water but the sun kind of annoys me? It kind of draws my attention too much for some reason.



http://www.threadless.com/critique/48047/monster_monster

http://www.threadless.com/critique/47894/Your_Professor

http://www.threadless.com/critique/47888/WOLFMAN

http://www.threadless.com/critique/47887/Eduardo

hehe ok,Ļwhat do the rest of you think about the new background?

i think the background is better although i would scrap the sun. I think it needs a bit more to demonstrate the setting. Maybe some shells in the foreground? I can really tell from my screen if there is some detailing on the shafts of the towers but if there is it should be bolder, and if there isn't, i think there should be!



any thoughts on mine?

Thanks! hmm yeah maybe something more in the foreground, I kinda like the sun, but maybe thats just me? :P hehe

Nice drawing, like the style, I think just a few small details like shells in the foreground would be good, but not too big a to distract from the main characters. The sun is ok, altho having the rays bleeding onto the towers makes it look like it is in front instead of in the distance.

Thanks! hmm yeah you might be right about the sun wilzon, I was thinking that the sun like lit up the edge of the castles a little or something not sure if it looks right though :P

bump

Wow, it's been a few V's since I last commented, been busy. I'll first say that feuding sand castles is an awesome concept, no lie! Then, I must say that even with the crabs, (beach creatures), I'm losing the idea of sand castles. I think the colors, black outlined, yellow-filled castles, silver and black knights, and the red and blue crabs are so different from sand/beach that I now see the castles as just a backdrop and not necessarily constructed of sand. This may sound a bit crazy but maybe try most of the drawing, castles/knights/crabs in a sepia/brown line (no color) on a sand colored tee with a bit of aqua-tinted water between the castles and a dusky orange sun on it's horizon. You could add a different pointilist-type texture (a bit darker or lighter than tee color) to the castles and stay with the textures you already have with the knights and crabs. Anyway, as I said, a great concept, just adding my 2Ē. Cheers!

Hey thanks quister, great ideas I'll defenetley try it out :P

I agree with Quister. All the color and the knights makes you loose a bit of the beach feeling. However it is a great idea and the castles looks really nice.

Thanks I'm working on a new version, tryin to make it more beachy :P

Ah this is great, I do think the sun is a bit distracting, and Quister sound's like he's onto something! Funny idea though, this is gona be a great sub :3

And if you're not busy, a comment on my first submission would be very much appreciated!

I agree with Ars Fera - the sun is really out of place and distracting.



I love the colourings - you've done a great job!



Could you critique my new collab design? Thanks!

New v, changed some colors and added two seashells, what do you think, better?



klick button for placement :P

hm the whole sandcastle/knight thing has already been done. but design wise yours is pretty unique. though i must say it seems a little too crowded... =/ not a bad job on the illo though :) if you ask me, id rather just one knight/castle in the center because the 2 sides arent really interacting much at all hence it seems to just crowd up the design.

Yeah someone else said that too, don't think it's too similiar though:P hehe if I'd do it your way i'll have two designs :D hehe, I'd like to believe that theyr'e atleast are interacting with eachother a bit, so I think I wanna stick with the two :P

i like the style of the knights and castles, not very fan of the red crab. I really think like others and agrimony (again lol) that you could stick wit hone, centered, which would give more impact, more interesting tee shirt to wear too.

you could at least try with one, to see what's gonna happen. then, if poeple and you prefer the previous version, you could go backward ;)

thanks! hmm yeah i could always try :P any one else agree bout the one castle thing or have any other comments?

OK, this is sure to make you crazy. IMO the core of the concept is, "waring sand crabs", which is a very cool idea. Meaning, a crab's home is his castle and needs to be defended from encroaching crabs. So, I'd say lose the knights, (save them for another concept, they're too well drawn not to), keep the 2 castles and the crabs but either have them in the midst of battle or staring each other down. I would also suggest you change the color of the crabs to be more beach hued. Aquamarine for the blue one and red coral for the red one. Right now, the primary blue and red are more beach ball than beach scenery. Cheers!



fighting crabs



aqua blue crab



red coral crab

The lines look too thin to me. I'd try thickening them up a bit and yeah, like quister says, those knights are not really needed. I also think the white outlines on the shells look strange. I'd either get rid of the shells altogether or give them a sandy colour and some shading.

I still think lose the sun. The blue ocean in the background is great, but the sun is totally not needed.



Also, if the knights are to be fighting, perhaps move their swords more in a "en garde" fashion...



Thanks for critiquing mine :)

Thanks for the critiques! I think you might be right quister, dithching the knights would make the concept stronger and less confusing:P That aqua blue crab looks totally awesome. I'll also try n do the sun differentley (still like the idea of having a sun) also work on the shells. Apart from that what do you think these colors work better than last v? thanks

nice style, like the line drawing, gud idea to ditch the knights and put the crabs in action. keep up the gud work



plz comment on mine:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/48828/colourful_bliss

thx

I really like the line drawing. I agree about loosing the knights. Though they are well done. Good work!



http://www.threadless.com/critique/48814/Keyboards

Ditched the knights tried battlin crabs, what do you think? still working on the coloring. :P

i think if u want to make this work, you should research some fantasy artists' work and get an idea of angles and postures. This can be awesome and epic but you'll need to work on those things. hope my opinion helps

this really shoves the castles into the background! What if you just had the crabs crawling on / sieging / destroying each others castles? Like the crabs are just troops, not knights, and there are more than one?



Can you help me out?

Very fun. I like the design a lot! It looks great, but it might look cool if it looked more distressed/worn. Great!



I'd love your feedback on my design!

Thanks for your comments, I've been thinking bout having more than one, not sure if I can pull it of so that it looks better though, I'll check out the distressed thing :P thanks

i actually like it with the knights better.



plz help me with my t-shirt design Gummy Bear War thank you.

i think the crabs needs a little bit less details..!

i would love you could comment mine

www.threadless.com/profile/1023205/FranciscoCruz1990/critiques

uhm ok anyone else?

could you have starfish or something riding crabs in a joust like situation... that might be funny...



I think the crabs should be a little smaller because they hide a lot of the castle stuff... but otherwise it's a great idea



help my critique?

You know what might be cool, do the crabs the same way you did the castles behind them. Same colors, same line width. Tell me what you think of mine. I can never seem to get any responses on these. http://www.threadless.com/critique/47801/Shapes#v2

Thanks for your comments, still not convinced what to do with this, I kinda like it the way it is xcept the blue crabs right arm might be a little long or what do you say? might solve that by makeing the red crab tear it of?

bump

What a fun idea!

You may want the crabs in a slightly more profile view just to better link the castles (they just seem to be in the background and not linked to the action). The knights are quite fun if you decide to include them, but they need to in a far more dynamic pose. I would look at man classical/romantic depictions of war in paintings. Jacques-Louis David was Napoleon's painter. He may be a good start for you.

Also, I think a shirt that is more of a creme/light goldenrod would be better to match the sand

the crab claws are just...off; maybe if they are shorter and wider (especially the blue crab)

thanks for the advice! :p I'll check it out

A new try with these crabs :P better? ideas suggestions?

bump

I like the whole sand castel idea but I think you need to express your iea more clearly throught the shirt and maybe hadd some kinda anger in the crabs eyes or something to show that they are fighting and maybe some more shades in the castels also add some clouds or some kinda sky.



Check mine plz http://www.threadless.com/critique/50886/Dark_and_Shy_at_Day_Bright_and_Wild_at_Night

I also need ot learn how to use that flas threadless template.

Wow, what a turn this has taken!



I think this could work with something as simple as reducing the size and positioning of the castles... Perhaps move them up the tee?



Can you swing past my critique and give some more feedback? I've got a "final" version up now.



Thanks! :)

Thanks for your comments! I agree that something needs to be done, I'll try what you said greententacle you might be right :P

bump

I think everything should go on one horizon line, both castles even in size, and the two crabs battling between them. Having everything on one line makes it easier to read. Also, clean up the crabs so they match the detail of the castles they're defending. Great concept.



Check mine out?

I would give v7 a score of 5 (perfect shirt colour choice too!) but now that the crabs are the focus I would personally have to give it a 2. Your line work is beautiful, but I would never buy a shirt with giant crabs for anyone I know.



Your line work and the castles could be modified to be a beautiful kids shirt as well.

Ah, cool!! Sub! In my opinion... lol. I'd totally wear...

Bob... has been neglected...

thanks for the comments, this is tough I don't know what to think of or to do with this :P

bump

Maybe smaller crabs? Just a little.

yes, smaller crabs. and no sand castles

With castles in my opinion!

I like the sand castles. Maybe make the crabs different coloured silhouettes or something to clean them up, I couldn't make out what was happening at first glance and with t-shirts that may be a bad thing. Digging your colours!

thanks for the advice. i'll post a new v when i got some time over :P

bump

So I played around with this some, and tried to do it with the new crabs and the old knights, what do you think?? better/worse? :P

oh and push the button for placement

bump

Now since the crabs are small, i don't think they need the transparency, earlier they were blocking the castles. Fill them in with that bronze color and this may be ready!

Thanks I'll try fillin them :P

bump

cool! I love the outline castles, realy nice style. I would fill the crabs too, because they look kinda unfinished in this style. And maybe let the knights look a little bit more angry at each other and without white faces, take the shirtcolor as skintone!? and the castles entrances doesnīt need the yellow area. what about shadows for the knights and craps?

Thanks for the advice :P

nice work, I definitely agree with the filling of the crabs. The hallway entrance of the castle either need more of a gradient or no fill at all.

thanks:P

bump

the red crab is a lil hard to me but its not a really big detail i think submit



if u have time plz

http://www.threadless.com/critique/52217/hidden_in_the_smoke#v2

nice! maybe thicken the outlines? help me out?

thanks

New v filled the crabs and made the knights look more pissed, also made some other changes :P what do you think??

click button for placement and alternate colors :P

It's a neat design, but there is a lot going on, I almost think the castles alone would have been enough (but I realize that it getting away from your design concept). One thing you should do is be consistent with the foreground figures. The men are outlined in black and the crbs should be too. This should make them pop and help the design. Nice work.

Check out my design.

Very good. I don't get the shells in the background.



But very nice.





Please Critique

thanks :P

I like it too . . . but I'm not sure if it's clear. it took me a couple views to get the gag . . . unfortunitely I don't have any good suggestions . . . it's just a gut feeling.



it's a great concept though



any thoughts on my latest idea?

Sports Geek

hehe ok, thanks :P

i don't like the direction this took at all. thought that the original had potential if you had lots of little arrows flying back and forth at each other and little tiny men fighting, maybe riding small crabs

I see where you gettin at biotwist, and i agree to an extent, thing is i felt like i couldn't pull my original idea off, and i ended up with this which is kinda different, but i still like it, but i will defenetley redo this concept again in future :P but that will be another design from scratch I think.

i'm considering subbing this, any thoughts?

Great line work and I love the texture. It looks like you've been putting a lot of work into this but unfortunately its just not clicking. I think the coloring might be working against it. I'd like to see what she looks like with it just as a line drawing and only have the flags colored.

Cheers!

I love the idea but it feels like there is just too much going on.



How about one design witht he castles and one for the action?



Please Critique me!

thanks I'll try that lumpy

bump

So i tried lumpycheeks idea with almost only linework, comments?? :P

This is much better, though it still feels a bit too busy.



Please help and critique me!

ok thanks

i personally like the idea of having lots of little crabs staring up the sides of the castles and people(knights) throwing stuff at them from inside the castle ..this would be without the roads in front of the castles ... and would it be possible to get a seashell flying across the sky ..as if from a catapult or trebushea? lol

lol btw can u look at this

Thanks yellowpanda, that sounds like a good idea for a remake, and I have several others to for how to remake this sometime, but for now I think I'm more interested in what I can do with what I have to make it better. Anyone have any useful tips?

better then the last one, what if you thru water in the background with some color to separate it from the castles

thanks man I'll try that

New v added some water to it, what do you think?

oh and push button for placement :P

bump

wow youīre realy ambitious! Your design changed so often.



the castles are perfect, now they donīt have the colored entrances anymore. the nights are better too, because they are just outlined, wich makes them not as superficial, because the tee is about the craps isnīt it?

I liked the craps colored better, like I said itīs about them. In this version the knights are the eyecatcher.

the water and the shadows bring more depth into the design, wich I like, but I donīt like the style. Itīs to sketchy compared to the castles which looks realy "clean" made. Also I think you donīt need the white lines, the depth is clear by the water and the ways.



Hope his helps? thank you for your comment on mine!

Thanks alot for your comments monsen and brightwood, I'll work on what you said :P

This is printable, so keep pushing it.

tiny line work and color causes the castles get lost. add some shading maybe to pop them out a bit. I like the overall idea and creepy coloring (esp. the sea)



why don't you go for EMBROIDERY with the crabs!?



move back from the monitor (or zoom out) and look at it.. things got lost a lot.. use color and/or shades to give it some areal presence... Variations on line could also work..



thanks for your comments

Thanks :P

A new v worked on the shading and highlights, what do you think :P



click button for placement

as good as it gets. sub this

Wow, haven't seen this in a while - it's sure undergone a lot of changes!! Good for you for not giving up!! The castles look absolutely stunning with the light yellow added! Can you make the grey on the knights a little darker? I think maybe the crabs could use some more shading too, just with their own colors, like thicken up the lines on the shadow side of each leg, body, etc. so they stand out a bit more. It's really a great design though - Good luck!



Please help me with mine if you have a moment....

http://www.threadless.com/critique/53113/Jack_and_the_Beans_Talk

Thanks!

Thanks biotwist :P



Thanks durbantal, i can try it out and see if i like it:P

i must say, i like this version the best so far

thanks agrimony

i really love v.11's color scheme. this whole piece is just so lovely, it's been great to watch it change over time. i think it's time to submit something because soon you'll be changing small details here and there til the end of time!



also, if you have a second, could you check mine out and throw down a crit? I'd really appreciate it!

hehe thanks ddayo, yeah it already feels like I've been working on this for an eternity, but i feel quite satisfied with it now and I think I wanna sub this v :P just wanted to get some feedback first

I quite like version 11 too, what I would prefer would be the castles from this design, the men from version 11 and then the crabs I think would look a lil bit more like team red and blue if their colours were stronger, or had more shading! coming along epicly though

Thanks for your input :P

The knights are a bit faded. Perhaps a darker ink or lighter background.

slight changes, darkended the knights a little bit and thickened the crabs a little, i think i will sub this v any objections? :P

bump

it's subbed :P

woho

200th comment :P

I hope you put in the placement on the tee in your sub. It looks super, aksel. Well done!

It's awesome - good luck!!

Thanks guys :P yeah I was really tired when i posted this critique, fortuneatly i managed to sub the real deal with placement on tee :P

so it's already subbed? man, there's that kickass improvement suggestion i was just about to make! seriously: this is hilarious and i'm glad you finally subbed it. agree with pencipluspaper: great use of critique :)



Pls score the "Ancient Geeks"!



Guess the score & WIN $25 GC!

beautiful illo!!!

Thanks :P I'll let you know when it's up in the mean time here's the link

woho it's up for scoring link text



:P