This is actually the...um...4th or 5th version of my critique but I accidentally deleted it amidst some technical difficulties.



So I changed the style of the veins/arteries so they look less stiff and a bit more...House MD intro-like (I always really liked the blood vessel part of the show's intro)



Anyway please leave comments/suggestions!! Thanks to all who've already helped me so much!! :D

Comments please? If I shouldn't submit can you please tell me why so I can come up with something better next time?



I'm truly debating if I should submit...mostly I did this for fun.

seriously I don't care how much you bash me or my design...just please tell me what's wrong so I can improve ^^

Honsetly, I just don't like it that much. It's too big, for one, as I don't really want a giant organ on my shirt. I think if you're going to go for it, make it smaller and put it in the top left, where a heart would normally be anatomically. I like the idea though. I don't like the yellow lines inside the heart, but that could be because they don't really look like they belong. Maybe smoother or something? I'm not sure on that one. I also don't get the flowers (?) at the bottom... from what I understand, you're going for sort of an 80's theme and they don't seem to fit, if indeed they are flowers. And, not to be too critical, I'm not really a fan of the teal. I've never really liked teal and red together, and this isn't working for me. I like how it looks on its own on the brown, but the red doesn't look that great. On the natural, the red looks good and the teal looks bad. So... I'd probably change the teal.



Otherwise, I like the sort of Etch-a-Sketch style and the details and the idea, so good luck! And I hope I've helped a little... and I really hope I haven't given you bad advice! LOL

Thanks so much spo13!!



I guess now that I look at it, it does seem like an 80s theme more than what it had originally been. It was actually a tribute to my parent's awkward love, when they first met. Ppl probably won't care let alone understand it, but like I said I made it for fun.



I'll put up a revision soon, though not sure still if I'll submit it =) More suggestions anyone?

http://www.xanga.com/jessedesign



diff versions...

The concept just isn't there. The drawing is obviously crude, I'm sure that's what you were going for, but it just doesn't work in this case. It's far too large on the shirt also.



Those are a few things to start with. This design is a bit of a disaster.



You asked me to critique, so there you have it.

i kind of agree with simon.



its too big, and the heart thing on the tape isnt that appealing, to be honest

Thanks so much guys!!!



I sort of decided to just drop this design, and maybe I'll try something else later, but I'll remember the all suggestions and take them into account on the next design idea I have =)