Hello All,

I already submitted this one to your critiques but accidentally deleted it...sorry, Iam new to that.

The last critiques were about the hand (that did not look natural) and the arm (that did not look like a wave anymore).

So I did these changes and I really hope that you like it.

Please give me your feedback on this version, it really helped me on the earlier ones!

hmm. the far away version looks good, but i think that the texture on the arm doesn't completely read as waves. i would work on the white peak too... somehow, it needs to look less like it was drawn using a paintbrush if that makes sense.

Well, that makes sense, I had a hard time figuring how I could make foam and this version was the one I think was the closest one to actual foam.

Thanks for your advice, I will se if I can improve this point.

I like this one better. You did a nice work.

Maybe the hand can pointing more to the ship to be more threating, nut i'm not even sure about it.



I like it very much like that.



Please, can you comment and vote for my Super Corn?

Thank you very much for your advice.

I tried to make the hand point to the ship, but I couldn't manage to have a nice looking wrist, so I gave up.

like the idea. maybe you can try to round the elbow.



please comment on some of my latest designs

Its a good concept but I really think your going to have to work hard on the colours to make it a great illustration. I know waves are very hard to illustrate but here is a suggestion for what i think you need to head towards for the arm and spray (ocean waves)

Look forward to seeing the next version...



Release Parachute 50yrds

i love the concept also but you must pay attention to the wave...



please feel free to crit mine :)



Amazing Dad

OK, thank you all for the advices.

I will try to work on the sea effect...I am not sure to be able to do better though.

With the texture you are using the sea looks a bit flat thats all. Nice concept though!



Critique mine?Giraffe

I like the flatness effect, the scene must not necessarily be tridimensional. Why not use a simple pattern to make waves and maybe add another pattern (like a tablecloth) to the sails of the boat too?

You can then both keep the foam like this or change it with a third pattern, to make the composition a bit particular.



Constructive criticism

My slogans

Shirt color of the same hue of sails.

I like the concept. Something feels off about the pattern though; it looks a bit too photoshop-applied-ish or something. Also, the forearm, like the segment the ship is on, looks a bit too straight. It's all very organic except the straight edges on that part. Maybe add a little more organic feel to it overall?



If you don't mind taking a look at mine, I'd appreciate it. :) http://www.threadless.com/critique/46005/Happy_Place

whoopsies. http://www.threadless.com/critique/46005/Happy_Place

Hello All,

Here is my new version.

I worked a bit on the elbow, plus I changed the sea pattern.

I first wanted to make it more real, but I didn't manage, and then I happened to do this pattern and I think I like it.

What do you think? Do I have to add a second colour?

Well, about the foam, I couldn't do it better so far, but I guess this won't be my last version :)

I'm afraid i still stick by all my previous comments

i like it, maybe you can make a more muscular arm. is poseidon!

I agree with "el peligro"

i like the sea pattern, make him muscular, and i think it just needs something else the arm is just so BAM you know, maybe something added to the left sideish??

The hand doesn't quite look like a hand to me? More definition with the arm (muscular) and hand is needed still.



Or have the boat in the hand?



Suggestions please!

work on the bottom of the arm it looks too flat



check mine out too!

http://www.threadless.com/critique/46058/A_Smile_from_a_Veil

Well, thank you about your very useful coments.

I still have work to do :)

I think changing the arm form will be alright, as well as working a bit more on the pattern.



As for Standz coment, well, I tried to do as suggested, but I think I was not good enough...and thus it really does not look as expected.

Hello everybody,

Here is a new version, where I changed a few things:

- I worked on the arm to make it look more natural

-On the fingers to better show the hand

-on the sea pattern.



I couldn't manage to make the arm look more strong without getting rid of the wave form so I let it that way.

Any comment on this version??

Thanks in advance!!

I like the sea pattern and the ship, but something isn't working with the arm/wave. Sorry I can't be more specific. I'll come back to it later and see if I can be more helpful.

Ok, thank you for the comment.

Is it because of the upper part of the forearm? I think this part may need some work.

How about more definition to the "whitecap" of the wave.

Like, less of a spray look. I dunno... i think it looks pretty sweet already.

I wanted to try to change the foam...maybe in the next version.

But in fact I am quite happy with the way it look now.

Right now im seeing 3 different images, the arm, the boat and the splash of the wave. something needs to assist them to all looking like they belong together. Maybe the boat could be bigger?



Check out my design:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/46120/Fish_Fishing

New version, with the forearm form modified as well as the boat size...as suggested by some of you.

Can you give me your helpful advices??

Thanks!!!!

I suggest taking photo reference of your own arm in the same position, to get the correct shape... It looks odd where the joint connects above the elbow still :)

As suggested I changed the arm form.

But I think I can not really make it look more natural since I want to preserve the wave shape.

Any comments, ideas??

Hey big improvement on the skin pattern..I like that on the dark

background ..cool:]

I still miss some kind of muscles, u know...

I mean, Poseidon mega-strong-n'-powerful



please, critique mine

Yeah, I think some half-tones in black to add shape and form to the arm (and more shadow to the three fingers that are farthest from us) would make this really, really strong. Ha ha, that's my advice, even though I don't know how to use halftones yet! I'm trying to figure it out...

It really misses the muscle it looks like the upper arm bends in the wrong direction. It works better on the darker background.



Will you please check mine:

Pick your expression and

Visit to earth

Yes, darker background, that looks much better, and I agree with the halftone idea, it could add a lot of definition to the arm. Awesome concept and idea though, nice job!

And if you have a second, a comment for my critique would be very much appreciated!

Well, it seems that everybody agrees for more muscles.

Do you guys mean on the upper arm? Don't you think it won't look like a wave anymore??

I added muscles and shadows.

I am not sure about the shadows, I think I did some mistakes about them.

What do you think??

im not a big fan of the way u did the waves, but if thats the style u are intending to use then go for it. perhaps more whites along the arm to show the foam?

Interesting choice of motive, difficult to realize. I like it though, looks really nice on the shirt itself. The shadows on the lower downside of the arm might be too much. The upper part's fine, its' like the foam is creating the shadows. Keep it up!

wow this is the sea weight training program. XD

thank you for the comments, I will work on the shadow

great concept!

please take a look at my critiques.

I really like it but the waves need work. They need a little bit more detail and some varied color, I think? Good luck!



My critique!

OK for the comments.

I am not sure I can add other colors...I already have 8 colours I think.

The shadows on the ship are a bit to much but the overall look and feel is good!



Will you please check mine:

Pick your expression and

Visit to earth

I changed the shadows colour on the ship as well as the shadow form on the forearm.

I also cleaned some lines on the ship definition, not sure that it is visible on this small image though.

What do you think of it?? Can I submit this version or does this need more work?

BTW, thank you all for your help, I really appreciate ans it was clearly very useful when looking at the difference between v1 and this version.

hey, i think its really cool but if i were you i would flatten the muscle a bit.



otherwise its great, i love the composition.

i like the evolution of your desing. i dont know if add tipografy ruins it but you can try to write something on it just for see.

here is my submition please take a minute and score it:

http://threadless.com/submission/215867/God_is_not_human

Totally clever

maybe make the waves more wave shaped with frot

Help me Out

http://www.threadless.com/critique/46383/Free

Thank you for your comments.

I tried to put on a text, but it didn't look great...thus I got rid of it.

Brilliant! I love the texture on the arm. I feel because the texture in the arm is so great that there should be a little texture in the clouds. Just a touch of that cloud-like feel.



Thanks for you comment on time and space. Check out my other design if you have a moment:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/46427/Splatter_Pattern

yeah i agree with lukeylukey. try to make the arm looks more like a huge wave .... great design :)



Please see my design and tell me what you think :)



http://www.threadless.com/critique/45855/Ugly_Duckling



Thx

Do you mean having the arm more like in v5??

I still feel the top of the wave where the splash is and the water itself need to fit together better. they still seem too separate.



Check out my design:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/46516/Fork_style

Interesting piece Donlopeo1. I think the wave needs more of a fluid feel - maybe break up the wave detail a bit and make it more "natural"?





Could you maybe also critique mine? It's Castles of Sand V8.



Oh, also, if you haven't yet, i'd love a vote/ comment on my submission Psychedelic Soup.



Tell your friends :P



Thanks!

Hey!

Here is a new version that I would like you to compare with the previous version on 2 different points:

-First the foam, I tried to change it as some suggested, but I am not sure it is better now...what do you think?

-Secondly, the arm form...with or without muscles??



Please help me :)

i think I prefer it with no muscles

and for the foam..hmmm...it's difficult.....

it feels a bit weird



what i like best is the hand

Sorry, I did a mistake uploading the previous version. Here is my last version and I would really appreciate if you could compare it with v7 and tell me what you prefer about:



-First the foam, I tried to change it as some suggested, but I am not sure it is better now...what do you think?

-Secondly, the arm form...with or without muscles??



Please help me :)

I actually really like the new foam a lot. It adds a unique style to the whole thing. I would maybe work on the hand a little more to show some emotion through it - angry seas style Other than that, this seems to have come a long way, and I like it!

Thank for the nice comment.

Do you mean by changing the hand shape, or something like that?

Ok - wave shape looks much better - no need for the muscle - foam looks great - I would shrink the ship down - needs to be more epic !!

i think what susantuma was saying was the hand gesture could be more angry as in more clenched because it looks a tad peaceful atm. This foam is way cooler and the muscles in this one are better. Youve come a long way its looking great! :)



Critique mine please? no ugly babies. Thanks

OK for the hand position, I'll try that!

I agree the foam is way better.

Did you try making the hand from the foam part?

No I didn't.

It could be cool, but I would have to think of something else for the other end of the design and I have no idea for the moment.

Hello everybody,

I changed the hand gesture to make it look more frightening. I don't think I will be able to be more turned toward the ship without the angle between the arm and the hand looking odd...I don't know if it doesn't already look odd?

Well, let me know what you think of it...

what if you had the hand grabbing the ship with the wave making the move to crush it?

Strong idea. Hand works for me. The extra hand on the lower right is confusing your visual presentation, though.

Looked through all of your versions and I must say you've done a nice job revising this into a strong image! Makes me see the value of these critiques for my own submissions.

Gracias por la ayuda con tu comentario.

POrqué desaparecieron los músculos de la V6??

estaban bien!!!



La verdad es que te lo has currado mucho con las diferentes verisones...pero la mano...queda suelta..sin sentido..es como si abandonaras las ganas justo en las manos.



Buena suerte y seguimos en contacto diseñil!!!

The wave is much better now. but you see how you outlined the white wave in black, do the same now to the blue arm. I think the boat might have a bit too much detail though.



thanks for the comment

Castles of Sand but different, yeah, different.



I think this is pretty close. Looks great on the dark blue shirt, scale and all.



I think the foam looks a tiny bit wierd. You already have a juxtaposition of styles, which is not bad, but the style of illustration used for the foam is the odd man out for me. I don't reallly have any suggestions on how to fix it but it looks more like a cloud, thanwhitewash. Perhaps the edges just need to be rougher, or maybe the front of the peak is too big and round.



Thanks for your help with Tricycle.

I love the scale pattern. I agree with the above post though, the foam on the wave seems a bit odd, maybe you could put a line pattern through it to set it back.

its a great idea but i think u should either soften the outline of the ship or strengthen the outline of the wave..good luck

really like the hand now - looks great. and you've doen a good job on the water.

there's a couple of suggestions from others as to how to improve still, but I personally can't see anyhting else that still needs doing. I think you've come really far with this, well done



If you can spare a chance to click a button or type a comment, my hamster would love your vote, and your thoughts on hte pot and the kettle would be appreciated.

This is a great design and idea.

Maybe the foam on the wave could use some drops of water around it, like mist; something to make it seem like it's not on piece. To let the idea that's it's about to break and crash on the ship more threatening. Also consider some small crashing waves near the front of the ship since it's about to collide with the hand.

and a minor note, maybe add a little bit of a shadow to the middle finger to separate it from the pointer finger?



that's all, but even with out that I think you have a nice, creative, strong design.

I posted a new version here!!!

j'aime!