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jillanthropy on May 28 '09
Love the style and idea, especially the vampire holes in the dead jam jar.
You're right about it not looking like a donut, though. I was staring at it for a while, wondering if it was a rock or...? You could add sugar frosting, or turn it into an hole donut, to be really obvious... Also, what colour and placement on a tee? I'd appreciate comments on this design as well. :) |
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yeah, i'm not getting donut either.
i think the brown has more warmth and you're more likely to get the donut idea with it, it probably needs to be a bit lighter and yellower in colour though. addign frosting/sugar is a good idea and i would probably lose some of the detail on the face as it's giving it dimensions and shape that don't really belong to a donut if that makes sense. try make it softer and squishier looking maybe. love the jars by the way! my last critique has been subbed, would love a vote please, thanks! |
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tofutenshi on Jun 08 '09
i added the hole where the jam gets in.
does it look like a donut now? someone suggested icing sugar... but that makes it look like a clown what do you think? |
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JP_designer on Jun 10 '09
i like the first way. the darker one. It would be nice to see the placement aswell. Its a funny idea tho. Maybe the strawberry jelly could look a little more scared?
check out my design: http://www.threadless.com/critique/46028/Fish_Fishing |
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JP_designer on Jun 10 '09
correction... my design:
http://threadless.com/critique/467882/Fish_Fishing |
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boazws on Jun 10 '09
"This" is much better than "That". The doughnut should be more doughnutty - now it looks a bit like a potato. And the jelly should be more red, with brighter highlights. Good idea.
Please vote here. Thanks. |
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Haxie on Jun 10 '09
just an idea, but it would be cool if the donut cast a shadow... it would look more creepy
I thought it was a piece of bread at first, and then a filled croissant. maybe adding frosting or sprinkles? and maybe if you made the jelly around the mouth shinier? |
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Jeiji on Jun 10 '09
THE FIRST ONE! I love this! That's Hillary-US! I like it. Show some placement!
Edo Crunk! Getcho' Samurap on! |
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dstn.mccormick on Jun 10 '09
this is better than that, but i agree that it doesn't quite read as jelly donut yet. Maybe some sort of sugar glaze would help...and some crumbs?
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Skiot on Jun 10 '09
I vote for This over That definitely. And sorry I can't give any suggestions on how to fix this, but the donut does need to look more donutty.
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tofutenshi on Jun 22 '09
click bottom right to see different versions
It doesn't really look like a donut does the brown make it look like a potato? any thoughts? |
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tofutenshi on Jun 22 '09
so I made it more donuty and less like dracula.
icing sugar didn't really work since my computer crashed after I added thousands of little white specks. What do you think? |
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Sibos on Jun 22 '09
I think this is the best one so far. Very cute concept and well done illustration. I'm not sure what else it needs or how it could be improved, so I guess it's good to submit.
Please check out my Critique |
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raihan42 on Jun 22 '09
So aweome! Great work. Maybe the other one should have a dead face: x_x
My first design got accepted and I'd really appreciate a vote. Thanks alot! |
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tippycal on Jun 23 '09
looks good on olive green. better than the first two versions :) i love the way you colored it. Perhaps you can put arcs that signify that the jelly bottle is shaking in fear? :) Just an idea.
Oh. Can you help me with mine? :D http://www.threadless.com/critique/47123/Just_this_time_size_might_not_matter |
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tofutenshi on Jun 25 '09
bump!
think it's ready to sub? |
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Hagnii on Jun 25 '09
I like it a lot!
Blue would be my shirt of choice. |
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Risdiansah on Jun 25 '09
cute concept! maybe this is need an outline?
Please vote for my design :) http://www.threadless.com/submission/217848/Ugly_Duckling Thx |
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Asianflower on Jun 25 '09
Aha, nice. I like the olive (?) color tee. Looks ready to me!
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Ike Lawliet on Jun 25 '09
Can you give the donut a hole? Without reading the title, it's a bit hard to recognize it.
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charity.ryan on Jun 25 '09
Jelly donuts don't have holes, but I agree it's tough to make out. It needs more depth--on the edges. I don't know how to describe it--like a can of tuna. It looks more like a cookie. It's awesome though, I love donuts!
Vote my design if you can: Hero's Hesitation |
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bt_rule on Jun 26 '09
I think that you need to make facial shadows similar to the first two versions, but keep it a round donut. But a sugary glaze would help make it more recognizable, I think.
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tofutenshi on Jun 26 '09
I tried adding frosting but the thousands of tiny circles crashed my computer . . . so I added the lines instead. Does it work?
What do you think? |
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bt_rule on Jun 26 '09
I think it's a little better, however it could be confused for a hamburger with grill marks. As for the frosting, I was more thinking about a squiggly line around the face like the frosting that they put on and it drips down the sides... Hope it's not too much work if you like the idea, but I think it's worth it...
My crit-Urban Piracy |
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nozm on Jun 27 '09
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Ekspanzi on Jun 27 '09
maybe u should try with tiny dots of sugar over it (or something).. i thought it was a hamburger also :D
great idea tho fly's dream |
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tofutenshi on Jun 28 '09
used 3 pantone colours and added icing.
is it ready yet? |
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Shok Xone Studios on Jun 28 '09
I like the progression this design's gone through. I'd say have a line of jelly-drool coming out of the donut's mouth and dripping on the ground.
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Trash-can on Jun 29 '09
Haha...this is very funny.
Alright so I saw the progression and this has improved pretty nicely. I like the way you illustrated this and donut. Overall the design is pretty good. You could try the drool but I think that might be overdoing possibly but again you could give it a shot. Now the jelly jar is really cute. However the cap could maybe use a slight change maybe in color tones. Take a look at your design from a distance. You'll see that the cap of that jar almost blends in with the donut. So you could mess with that. It's pretty close to done I think though. Not bad! |
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Wintang on Jun 29 '09
your illustration is really nice yet very smooth i would say submittin it.. but if u wanna play more u can make the little guy shaking a little hahaha
Would u check mine out http://www.threadless.com/critique/46923/Smilelikeme http://www.threadless.com/critique/46920/MonkeyNipp |
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tofutenshi on Jun 29 '09
I think this is the last one.
lowered the transparency of the icing and brought back some of the shadows on the face. |
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dversdzn on Jun 29 '09
I like this, but just a couple observations. the cast shadow of the donut would also be cast over the second jar of jelly so all the color in it would be darker. Also, the victim in the background almost looks like he's smiling because of the way the puncture wounds and the dripping blood are placed.
I think you're really close, it just needs a little bit more before it's ready. Just my opinion obviously. What about putting them all in a location, creating a scene with a background etc. just so they do just feel like they're floating on the shirt? I'm interested in seeing how this progresses. Good luck. If you have a chance I'd love some feedback on the following. In The Weeds & maybe a vote for Someone Loved Them Once Thanks |
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screwdles on Jun 29 '09
I think it's pretty much ready. Maybe have the shadow a little longer, to give a menacing feel, but this may unbalance the shirt. How do pupils look on the donut?
I really like the work on the jelly. Fantastic. crit mine please? http://www.threadless.com/critique/47605/cola |
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tofutenshi on Jun 30 '09
okay, added more detail. changed some of the colours.
what do you think? |
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tofutenshi on Jul 01 '09
bump
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workstation5 on Jul 01 '09
wow i really like this :D
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tofutenshi on Jul 02 '09
. . .
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tofutenshi on Jul 08 '09
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kenumdrem on Jul 08 '09
you're really talented for only 19!!
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It doesn't really look like a donut
does the brown make it look like a potato?
any thoughts?