Critique this t-shirt design: "Breaking Free"

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v1 Breaking Free, 213 days ago, click to expand

v1 Breaking Free, 213 days ago, click to hide

Work in progress by:

NGee
on May 15 '09

Version 1 - 213 days ago

Version 2 - 212 days ago

Version 3 - 212 days ago

Version 4 - 210 days ago

Version 5 - 210 days ago

Version 6 - 209 days ago

NGee on May 15 '09

Re-worked an older design that I have a soft-spot for - any thoughts?

NGee on May 15 '09

Hopefully it's obvious, but the idea is to have the guy who's broken free on the back of the tee

5eth on May 15 '09

I think it would be more effective if rather than just having the right one detached, he was actually mid-stride running away. Basically the same thing as the thumbnail/back of shirt, just in place of the lone dude on the front.

NGee on May 15 '09

The guy on the right (front) is meant to be part of the line, with the focus being on the missing one who appears on the back. Maybe I need two guys to the right to make it more clear?

5eth on May 15 '09

OHHHH ok, that makes a lot more sense. Maybe even add eyes to each guy, and have the one's closest to the missing one looking off to the side, like they're watching him run away.

NGee on May 16 '09

Thanks, I've been considering putting some kind of faces on them - I'll see how it looks.

TTUraider on May 16 '09

haha, so simple, but really funny :) I like it a lot.

I do agree that it needs something to emphasize that the guy on the right is a part of the chain, and not the missing one...perhaps just ad one more to the right side...then maybe turn the heads or have them looking with "drawn" eyes and faces as suggest...

Really like where you are going with it tho! :) Can't wait to see the next version!

NGee on May 16 '09

Thanks TTU :)

v2 Breaking Free, 212 days ago, click to expand

v2 Breaking Free, 212 days ago, click to hide

Work in progress by:

NGee
on May 16 '09

Version 1 - 213 days ago

Version 2 - 212 days ago

Version 3 - 212 days ago

Version 4 - 210 days ago

Version 5 - 210 days ago

Version 6 - 209 days ago

NGee on May 16 '09

Made a simple change for now by shifting one of the guys in the line over, will have a look at drawing faces later

aksel on May 16 '09

Nice concept! I'd would like to see it with the faces might make it more interesting and more easy to get, especially if you wanna keep the escapee on the back. I usally don't like when you have to see the back of the tee to get the joke, but if you add faces i think you get it anyway. If you know what i mean:) Keep up the good work!

If you got time I need your help deciding if I should sub Ladder to Heaven

Francesa on May 16 '09

I realize you want a little back design, but this would make a whole lot more sense if the running-away-guy was on the front, so people could see what was going on without having to run around your body as you wear this shirt.
The front design has no story by itself and the back design doesn't have much. It's together that they make cuteness.

clearcut on May 16 '09

it's cute and simple... the escaping guy reminds me those signs placed on the top of the emergency doors. A suggestion can be: add a kind of door, maybe made like a folded piece of papere, or kind of.... dont know. :) Well, dont do it just because i say it, if you think it's stupid, just drop it, of course!! :)

NGee on May 16 '09

I'll try it with all the characters on the front. I could have him running off to a paper aeroplane, but maybe that's a bit too much?

v3 Breaking Free, 212 days ago, click to expand

v3 Breaking Free, 212 days ago, click to hide

Work in progress by:

NGee
on May 16 '09

Version 1 - 213 days ago

Version 2 - 212 days ago

Version 3 - 212 days ago

Version 4 - 210 days ago

Version 5 - 210 days ago

Version 6 - 209 days ago

NGee on May 16 '09

Re-worked it as a single design on the front of the tee, opinions please.

NGee on May 16 '09

Any thoughts?

Bonnie76 on May 16 '09

I love it, but when I did some similar paper doll cut out designs, I was absolutely slated!
However, yours is clever-er and funny so, perhaps you can get away with it!

http://www.threadless.com/submission/205335/Rainbow_Warriors_Unite

http://www.threadless.com/submission/205330/Protect_Our_Earth

http://www.threadless.com/submission/205325/Imagine_A_Green_World

jnjmitchell on May 16 '09

Clever idea! I like the concept quite a bit. Only thought would be maybe make the ripped edges more obvious? Deeper rips? Just a thought!

NGee on May 16 '09

Thanks Bonnie, heading over to check your subs now

NGee on May 16 '09

Thanks, hopefully the ripped edges would be a bit more obvious on the actual tee, kind of how they are on the close-up.

NGee on May 16 '09

If it got printed of course!!!

Spam69 on May 16 '09

It's a great simple design Neil. Don't think it needs much more.

NGee on May 16 '09

Thanks Spam.

Spam69 on May 16 '09

It is a general concept that has been done, not just by Bonnie (there was a shirt by Split The Atom who are no longer trading that was similar) but this an original NGee, it's different and you should go for it.

NGee on May 16 '09

Spam - that STA one was mine too !)

Bonnie76 on May 16 '09

WoW! Hahah, cool :)

Spam69 on May 16 '09

NO WAY! - I bought that shirt for a friend a couple of years ago. That was a great shirt. Shame about STA but he just wasn't able to compete. I've still got 3 of their shirts which I wear from time to time.

hehe - can't get over that.

Bonnie76 on May 16 '09

NGee, can you crit mine?

http://www.threadless.com/critique/44111/He_Fainted

NGee on May 16 '09

Glad you liked it Spam, will do Bonnie - I'll get to it in a bit

agrimony on May 16 '09

hm u think if he was in the act of breaking free rather than having already broken free?

also u should try a slight shadow to show the perspective because it looks abit flat right now. (the guy who has broken free looks like hes below the chain rather than running away from)

Bonnie76 on May 16 '09

Yeah, I think agrimony is right, maybe have him more peeling away, whilst still on the line...use a touch of shadow to show the peeling....

aksel on May 16 '09

I think this looks really nice and simple, you should keep it that way, I also agree with agrimony it might look sweet if you added a shadow to the breakaway guy to add some depth. I'll check in on your next v! :D

Santo76 on May 17 '09

I love it. It´s a nice simple design... I agree that maybe a soft shadow under the free guy would be great, but try not mo make it too complex... if it doesn,t work, it is cool as it is!

silexestudio on May 17 '09

I agree. It is simple but (so) it works :-)

bry_yrb on May 17 '09

a lot of thought from a simple design!!!! really great

check mine out
http://www.threadless.com/submission/210863/killer_smile

Thanks

TTUraider on May 17 '09

Nice! Reads much better now that you've moved the runner back to the front. I agree that a shadow that agrimony suggested would help define the positions a bit more.

Just a random thought, but what if one of the rips wasn't so "clean"....like it ripped up into one of the arms and could take a piece of one of the heads along with him? showing that there was some force to him breaking free or something :-p
hehe..just a thought, not really sure if it would work, or if it's at all what you would want to do :-p

Keep it up! Love it so far!

Maphia Phamily on May 17 '09

Great idea change the break one...
it's nice and very funny.
Go submit it.

critique my work

v4 Breaking Free, 210 days ago, click to expand

v5 Breaking Free, 210 days ago, click to expand

v5 Breaking Free, 210 days ago, click to hide

Work in progress by:

NGee
on May 18 '09

Version 1 - 213 days ago

Version 2 - 212 days ago

Version 3 - 212 days ago

Version 4 - 210 days ago

Version 5 - 210 days ago

Version 6 - 209 days ago

NGee on May 18 '09

Slightly bolder shadow on this one - ready to sub?

NGee on May 18 '09

Bump

Ivantobealone on May 18 '09

I believe so! Looks great!

NGee on May 18 '09

Thanks again, Ivan.

tsc0809 on May 18 '09

I say sub it.

NGee on May 18 '09

Thanks Tonya - that's two votes in favour!

NGee on May 18 '09

Bump

Bonnie76 on May 18 '09

Hi,

It seems like the placement should be closer to where the place he is breaking free from, right now, I think the placement is a bit awkward underneath the arms of the other two...

Bonnie76 on May 18 '09

maybe in that spot, but rotated slightly with some space so you can see that he's leaving....

NGee on May 18 '09

Hey Bonnie, I see what you're saying, but I tried it closer and I didn't think the 'running man' stood out enough from the rest of the line. Thanks for checking it out.

NGee on May 18 '09

I could try a little more rotation :)

isolder on May 18 '09

Very cute! I especially like the fact they're on notepaper :) I think the running guy could possibly use a bit of shadow on his bent leg (I couldn't quite make it out until I had a close look at the close-up). I really like it on the orange shirt!

Also, have you decided against faces?

I could use some help with my Pre-empting Disaster if you've got a mo! :)

NGee on May 18 '09

Thanks isolder - I have decided to keep the design simple, so yeah, no faces.

Heading over to check yours now.

Bonnie76 on May 18 '09

Okay, well I still love it...could you please check out the current version of the one poloq and i did? Thank you :)

NGee on May 18 '09

But of course!

Santo76 on May 18 '09

It's looking great... the only thing I would do, now that you are using a new color for shadows... is to add a little gradient in the folded part of his right leg, It will help to understand it is folded and not ripped.

Francesa on May 18 '09

I liked the separation of V3 with the running man as a separate entity. The over lap confuses the big picture (what people will see in the first second as you pass them wearing this).

v6 Breaking Free, current version

Work in progress by:

NGee
on May 19 '09

Version 1 - 213 days ago

Version 2 - 212 days ago

Version 3 - 212 days ago

Version 4 - 210 days ago

Version 5 - 210 days ago

Version 6 - 209 days ago

NGee on May 19 '09

Added some subtle shading to the leg on the running man, and changed the shadow to match - I think it looks nice, how about you?

TTUraider on May 19 '09

Looks pretty darn good to me NGee :) I think it's pretty much ready!

NGee on May 19 '09

Thanks, TTU :)

timmaeeee on May 19 '09

i reckon this is a great concept. good execution too - i'd be happy to wear it as is.

just a thought though ... did you try make it a grid of little men? so the shape on the shirt is more of a square? and maybe the breakout guy is coming out of the top row?

great tee...
wanna check out my first threadlessness ?
http://www.threadless.com/critique/44211/emo

NGee on May 19 '09

Thanks for the comment, just checked yours.

Grafica.cz on May 19 '09

funny

NGee on May 19 '09

Final bump for opinions

Ivantobealone on May 19 '09

Sub it, the new shading looks wonderful. Best of luck!

NGee on May 19 '09

Thanks guys...

NGee on May 19 '09

Subbed!

dermodefan on May 19 '09

i'm not sure about th burnt orange color of the shirt, maybe a blue or yellow?

NGee on May 19 '09

Well, the design would transfer easily to most colours, so that would be up to Threadless if they chose to print it, but it needs some good votes first, so look out for it in (hopefully) a few days :)

Bonnie76 on May 19 '09

NGee, when you get chosen to print, do they talk to you about the colours?

digsy on May 19 '09

good work ngee - cute and clever idea.
be sure to update when it's up for scoring!

please can you tell me whether you think it's worth pursuing this?

mtilenni on May 19 '09

submit it; design looks great & really refined from the last few v.

critique me please.

NGee on May 19 '09

Bonnie - not to my knowledge. When 'Ambition killed the Cat' was selected, I subbed it on Grey and Black, but they printed it on Purple. Once you agree to let them buy the rights to the design they can print it on whatever colour they feel would work best. I guess the only determining factor is if the design uses the tee colour to make up a 9th (background) colour.

NGee on May 19 '09

digsy and mtilenni - thanks for checking it out, I've reciprocated :)

Bonnie76 on May 19 '09

Thanks for answering the Q Neil!

NGee on May 19 '09

No problem, sorry it took a while!

noodledooodle on May 19 '09

I would love this on another colour!

Crit me pls? :)

Bonnie76 on May 19 '09

I like the orange!

asiscortes on May 19 '09

I like, but try another color, :D

NGee on May 19 '09

Will do noodle, and thanks Bonnie, me too!

TTUraider on May 19 '09

I like the orange...doesn't seem like too many use it, so it's a nice change...and it really seems to fit with the design in my opinion ;)

NGee on May 19 '09

Thanks, TTU ;)

Allan BARTE on May 19 '09

Simple idea with a simple but not easy work.
Good job. I think you can submit.

Please, give me some feedback on My Super Corn... ;-)

logicalb on May 19 '09

i like this :) good work!

Santo76 on May 19 '09

Yeah dude! it´s done! sub it!!!

jonlunsford on May 19 '09

All for it. Submit for sure!!

Bear Grillz

2 days later

aksel on May 22 '09

Nice! seems i missed a few versions :( sorry bout that. Oh well I say sub and good luck to you ! :D

NGee on May 22 '09

Thanks aksel - if I may be cheeky, and if you have time, please check my slogans, thanks :)

smartkat on May 23 '09

Very good - submit.

T-Lou on May 23 '09

Def submit!

Please crit mine? thx

Tisato on May 23 '09

change color tee and sub it!!...

pseudofemme on May 23 '09

very cool. brilliant that the tear forms his little fingers. i've never seen (in life) someone make one of these out of a piece of lined paper, but i think the effect works well..

are the three little guys on the left (from our perspective) of the shirt missing a blue line? just under their armpits? sorry if it's just my terrible vision.. anyway, if it wouldn't terrible eff up the design, have you tried it out with the typical 3 holes & red margin peeking through on the leftmost guy?

those comments aside, it looks great. good luck!!

Listen

aksel on May 23 '09

sweet voted on atleast some of your slogans! :D
btw A Ladder to Heaven is being scored, so if you got time your vote and comment would be much apriciated:D cheers!

biotwist on May 23 '09

seems ready as possible

biotwist on May 23 '09

return the favor?

NGee on May 23 '09

It's up, check it out if you have time, thanks.

NGee on May 23 '09

I mean, check it out, here, thanks :)

Gingivitism on May 24 '09

brilliant!! i love the shading on the leg, very nice indeed, submit sir!!

mtths on May 24 '09

great & voted :-)

my Sub Shoal is finally up for voting :-)

NGee on May 24 '09

Thanks guys :)

mtths - voted and commented.

Gingivitism on May 24 '09

i've got a new critique up too if you have a second ngee?

Take A Minute To Help Me Out Too?

by the wya have you tried this design with the blue lines running vertically up the characters? or with a 'margin' line on one of them?

danielsauron on May 24 '09

Simple and great i like it
can you help me with this one?
http://www.threadless.com/critique/44702/dreamgirl

NGee on May 25 '09

danielsauron - heading over to check it out now.

Be sure to vote on this one as it's IN THE RUNNING NOW!, thanks :)

Bluelunar on May 25 '09

I voted, It's so cute! :D

Please comment on mine if you have a minute, thanks! :D

NGee on May 25 '09

Thanks, done :)

ontops10 on May 25 '09

This is so cute! I like it, but I don't know if I'd chose that same color x]

NGee on May 25 '09

Thanks - be sure to vote for it (and leave a comment too if you have time) thanks.

mike bautista on May 25 '09

That must've hurt.

NGee on May 25 '09

No pain. no gain I guess :)

OsosillyJilly on May 25 '09

i love this! It's very similar to mine The Bachelor? I voted for it! :)

16 days later

SusanTuma on Jun 11 '09

Clever and awesome. Only thing - perhaps a bit more shadow on the breakaway's head to set it apart it from the others. Form a distance it blends a little too much.

Looks basically ready!

Mind giving me some feedback? Raining Elephants

JP_designer on Jun 11 '09

What about a smirk or a smile on the running away figure? like a pencil mark.

check out my design:
http://www.threadless.com/critique/46120/Fish_Fishing

DonCardona on Jun 11 '09

haha nice!! sub it!! for sure man!!

hplewes on Jun 11 '09

It looks great!

JanDeA on Jun 12 '09

I think it looks great and very creative idea. I had to read the title to get it. I think the one running away is too close to the other two. What if you put some swoosh marks near the feet.
Check my work?
http://www.threadless.com/critique/46098/Ninja_on_board_in_Yellow

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