wanted to run this by everyone...I've been looking at it way too long.

Thanks!

really nice design. I would like it without any background patterns.



Not sure if u r allowed to hav a gradient though

This beats the shit out of mine.



Looks awesome, i think it would be better with out the grey blocks in the back.

i actually like the background bc it softens the image onto the shirt. i don't know if this is ur style or not, but it bothers me that you have no shading. if you look at a picture of a woman's back, you have shading on the jaw, lower back, spine, and the curves. it would make her look more feminine and what not. try sugar pink/hot pink flowers, bc blue isn't the sexiest color. but very nifty overall. :)

with no backround

with no background seems dull.



Slap a gradient somewhere up there like everybody does nowadays.

defintiely keep the background, it adds a lot to this piece. if you want to tie into their roots, what better way than actually incorporating part of a japanese design. i'm pretty sure gradients aren't allowed though

I liked the background on it as well

This probably won't help you, but I'm kind of sick of seeing women's forms used as disembodied aesthetic vehicles.



Reminds me of this photo by Man Ray, wo is a good example of what I mean: http://www.doctorhugo.org/synaesthesia/art/man-ray.jpg

sorry--no tie whatsoever

I think, in my humble opinion, that de backgroud does help blend the drawing into the shirt, but that the form of the background you used the first time didn't work as well as it could work.



Maybe a different color shirt would make it more sensuous. Black isn't mysterious enough. And I think that's what you want to get at, right?

good thought, thanks!

HER face seems aged.

Elegant design, on the first graphic with the background did

you intend to leave it all black under her armpit? Or was the

background supposed to show through?

as beautiful as this design is, youre going to have to change the gradient into halftones, or make it non existent by some other means if you plan on having this sub accepted to get scored.

i wish you luck.

great drawing man, I don't know if I'd wear it but I think you could submit either entry and get rave reviews.

need to bring the background back, it shows out the nice outline of the drawing more. works for me i was gonna say something about the gradient, but people have already said enough. good stuff maybe one more version and you'll have it down pat

This is going along great, really beautiful design. The gradient has to be changed though, which sucks because it makes it look that much better. And yeah, bring the background back.



If you plan on changing the face, don't. I think it looks awesome as it is.



I always have trouble reading kanji in fonts that look as if they have been drawn in real life. So, if you could let us know which kanji you used, it'd be great. That way I could tell you if they make sense or not. (You wouldn't want to write elephant, or something of sorts on her back, now would you?)

Ha...definitely not...maybe tiger or something...



As for the meaning of the characters...



The Japanese word Aikido is written in three characters which translate as “the Way to harmonize with the universal spirit of nature”.

thanks for the great tips...going to give it some more thought.

will have a new version soon!

i dont like the colouring of the font...is it meant to be tattoo or just caligraphy, i think a darker colour but maybe not black

The cloak / vine thing is gonna hafta be the same color as the body art on her back... You're already up against the "5 unique color" limit. (Black, Charcoal, Robin's Egg Blue, Light Olive, Flesh.) Unfortunately, that's going to leave no tones left for shading it.



So long as the background is the same color as her hair, I would bring it back. It adds a lot of interest.



Good luck with this one. It's a really aggressive work, given the limitations.

Aikido is a martial art though. Though I don't know if Ueshiba-sama would like it categorized that way. I personally think that the Japanese characters make it too obvious. I think you can give it a lot of Japanese visual flavor without it yelling "Pay attention to me, I'm Japanese." You could have tattoos, certainly, but maybe not the characters. I also agree to an extent with xoxti. You may not necessarily need shading (as per the sumi style), but I think you're missing an opportunity on the back. A lot of the sensuality of a woman's back is in the contours and curves that the muscles and the bones create.



Also, just a thought, what if she was sitting at the edge of a still forest pool. All you'd really have to draw are a some rocks shes's sitting on, maybe some small gestures for plants in the forground and the ripples of water around her dissipating into the distance that we would assume her legs were creating. The ripples would draw the eye to the figure and activate a lot of the space of the tee.

bring back the background!!

i like it with the background =)



and the way you turned the fabric into the tree...awesome!! great style

MrDomino-I understand it's a martial art...however--the idea behind the martial art is a much deeper personal soulful journey to oneself. I liked the meaning of the characters. I do, however agree it doesn't need to scream japanese--maybe adding definition to her back would keep it from being a large empty high contrast shape.

Thanks for the great critique---dually noted! I the original sketch I did...I had a rock lined pool dripping over the edge...that might need to be revisited.

im excited about this

I added the pool and changed colors a bit. Any ideas?

I liked the orange/green gradient in the first version. You can convert that to halftone for pintability.

ooh nice pool! the colors seem a little faded out, though. maybe make it more vibrant like in your previous ones?

use dakota slate shirt color

Agree with dakota slate, and I love the well. It definitely needs to be brighter and more vibrant.

Thanks!!

It looks a little washed out to me. Bolder colors methinks.

I agree on it looking a little washed out. And yeah, now that you mention it's Aikido, I finally could read them. Haha, oh the shame. 合気道. Anyway, design wise I don't think you should change anything. I miss the gradient in the first version. Some halftone action could spice it up.

Yeah, it looks a bit washed out. The design is great though. I liked the first one the best, too bad gradients aren't allowed. Darker colors might work better, I dunno.

I really prefer the first one.

1st = best one :) though i kinda like the well - i think that version is too dull :)

this is very aesthetically(sp?) pleasing

number 1 with halftones is probably the best option.

thanks all...will have a final version soon.

i think the writing (painting? design?) on her back should curve with it, assuming it's supposed to be on it and not superimposed...

Hey man, you're doing a great job taking in all the comments and not going crazy, especially since a lot of them are ignoring the limitations you have to work with. (It really doesn't matter if the first one is prefered, since it doesn't fit within the specs... And you can't halftone the gradient because you don't have the unique colors available.)



In any case, if you punch up the colors on the last version, making the tones similar to the first version but using the same color scheme and art as V3, I'd say you're good to go.



It's a very nice piece.

I think I like the latest one. The pool and water makes it more fluid. (No pun intended)

i like the last one, but agree on a darker shirt colour...

i would also add some water on lines on her right side... it doesn't really look like water on the right side.

good stuff--thanks all.

Should have a sub up real soon!

sub ur 1st version

thanks opifan64--think you got a good point. I'll keep workin.

I like the first version the best thus far. The only thing that bothers me (and it is probably just me) is the writting on her back is straight, I would find it more appealing if it followed the curve of her back.

Wow the first option is impressive.

It's easy shift from the original idea based on a few suggestions, but as most comments are positive, I say you got it right first time.

The coloring is too washed out.

I like the original one best of all. It is very striking. The second one just seems awkward and the last one is way too washed out. But I really like the way that the first one is laid out.

Nooo! go back to no background and I'd buy it. The tree gets lost in the background and it looks like shes just wrapped in some shawly thing.



The girl and the tree fit into each other, any background can just be slapped in, and it looks that way!



Loose the background then submit it my friend!

I think the colors are too faded - you're losing oomph because of the washed-out look. I like the backgrounds, and the composition is nice, though the characters on the back seem ill-placed. I'm not sure how to recommend altering their placement; they just seem...off, somehow.

I prefer Design 3 but changes need to be made:

1. brighten up colours

2. curve writing to fit with curve of back

3. NO DRIP



those have all probably been stated already just thought a nice list would help.

o and

4. half tones on tree branch back from 1 & 2





might i just add that im really happy you added this to critiques because its going to be beautiful but did need a little work.

I think the original colors were better with the browns and greens...the blue looks odd, though. I'd go for a much lighter blue.