This needs help but here's where it's got to so far. Suggestions really would be appreciated. It's for Eagle V's Shark.

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This is version 2, Thought I had deleted the first but it's here http://www.threadless.com/critique/4212/Good_2_Go_TOTALLY_akward_love.

Comments here though please if you wouldn't mind :o)

Is that a real brand of water? Either way, it's not enough to get the joke...



I think maybe an energy drink, or Kool Aid or something. Or maybe some hot sauce? I dunno - something that seems a bit sleazier...



Plus, maybe because it's extra virgin olive oil, it could look a little more bashful, and a little less aroused?

No it was a play on how 'H2O' sounds when you say it. The expression 'good to go' sort of means 'yeah I'm up for it'. I picked water because water and oik don't mix. Also you get 'dirty' water which diesn't mix with the 'virgin' thing. Get what I mean. I did try to make her look more bashful without success - any suggestions.

Oil, not oik. heesh

I don't think the H2O pun really works - I know what "Good to go" means, but it just isn't obvious enough as a joke, or from the drawing.



I get the oil and water thing, which makes sense, but you're maybe trying to put too many jokes into one image. I would stick with the water, without the "Good 2 Go" bit, make it a little more sleazy looking, and make the oil look more innocent and shy.

You could add some blushing to make her look more shy.

Hey fair comment too. So just write H2O on the bottle?

I'll try the blushing but I'm out of colours so will use a little line work and see how that goes.

Thanks

Hopefully she looks more bashful! Made her a bit more shiny too....thoughts?

Your coloring is really accurate and well done. I am not to fond of the green that you chose for the oil's label... make it a little darker with more green less white. For some reason the oil still looks like she wants it... maybe haver her looking like down but still at him... the lower left corner of her eye instead of the upper left? That might help.

Will give that a try. The label is the same light blue of the water. Not sure how to get round that because I've used all five colours already. Any ideas?

Going back to work on those eyes but in the meantime how about him with his lid up?

Are you going for a sketchy style? It would look better with crisp lines imho.

Must admit I do like the sketchy style but I don't mind trying it out a different way. I'm just trying to work out why people think she shouldn't look interested in him though? I thought awkward love was about the interest but it never actually being able to work? Did I misinterperete?? (scuse spelling)

I think it's because she's EXTRA virgin, so she shouldn't be keen at all, or if she is, she should be too awkward and bashful to act on it. Think of how a very shy, inexperienced girl would react to some very confident guy coming on to her.

Remember that these are just a few people's opinions. Designs usually get over 2000 votes over 7 days, and how many different people have posted here? 3. By all means take criticism on board, but don't feel like you have to act on every single thing.



That's what I think anyway.

Maybe I should change tack altoghether 13 and have her looking a little offended/overwhelmed/scared...I'll play with it a bit because I'm having a hell job with bashful!

NYC I didn't take it as a criticism more a suggestion on giving it a different look. I'm always trying to develop new styles so I probably will try that out just to see how it 'feels'.

Oh did you prefer cap up or down??

NYC - we're just trying to help.

I know, I know, I know!



I'm just saying, it's easy to react to every suggestion that's thrown in, when it's not always necessary.



People are touchy with me today. Sigh.

There, there...shall I post up and nice G&T for you :o)

I know what you mean though NYC - I wouldn't actually change something that I think would compromise what I'm trying to achieving. I tend to veiw the crits as a brainstorming session as they can be pretty helpful.

lol, no ta, I don't drink.



I'd say try cleaner lines.

A nice cuppa for you then!

Yes am definately going to try that. Not this weekend unfortunately - have to work :o(

Different look for the virgin. Does that work better?

Hmmm...she looks a little panicked. Perhaps aim for shy/reluctant more?

Shy/bashful was what I was trying for I'm just having a bit of a job nailing it.

Well, the main thing making her look frantic is her wide eyes. Perhaps make them look down and away and add blushing as 13strong suggested.

Shy eyes hopefully???

Can't get a pink blush unless I drop a colour somewhere - any ideas??

i love the shy eyes. this is a great idea and a very cute drawing.

The only comment I have is that the black lines on the bottle thin out a bit in the top right area. Good job!

I'm not sure about the water. Why not booze? The olive oil is on point, though.

Because water and oil don't mix, and it's for the Eagle vs. Shark compo...

Oh, right. I guess. It's just that water seems so clean and pure to me, there's no conflict between that and something extra-virgin. I think the reason I'm not digging the water is because for this to work, you have to associate this shirt with that old saying (is that still a common saying? I've heard it like twice). Maybe beer and water could fight for her extra-virginal charms? That way both the oil/water and extra-virgin components are addressed.

so cute!

submit.



but what color tshirt?

great idea, but i wouldnt wear it



http://www.threadless.com/critique/4299/A_Perfect_Match#lastcomment

Thanks for all the input. I haven't considered a shirt colour yet. Any and all ideas would be most welcome!

try pink for the shirt, then you could get the blush in. or green, that would look good with the picture.

Fixed the line on the bottle. Still going to try NYC's suggestion on the lines but haven't had time yet. Pink??? Any thoughts? And what about size and placement?

Not sure what work someone thought this needed. Have put some more definition into the bottles and used they transparency trick which seems to work okay on Khaki. Ideas peoples???? Those of you who liked it before do you prefer it with or without the extra colour in the bottles?

Perhaps some shadows underneath to give some depth? It's also a little big, imo

Yes that's it!!! They do sort of look like they are floating in air - couldn't quite put my finger on it. Back to work then....

Shadows added and scaled down. Better?

Nyc what is the best way to get the lines crisp?? I'm working in photoshop.

Please take a look and make a comment as I would like to get to completion with this. Thank you!

I'd would like to see the picture a bit higher up the t-shirt and a bit smaller, but it looks so good now. Especially if you look at the first version...

Smaller and higher and cleaned up some of the rendering - although it probably isn't obvious on this scale. Good to go?????

Question: When subbing how do you go about setting up the blog thingy? (Haven't subbed yet but hopefully am close)

Shadows are bigger and starker than I was thinking, but fine.



The subbing process is pretty much the same as critiquing, it does it all for you. It doesn't get posted immediately, they approve it first, takes about a week.

Yes it's funny how people have a different vision of the same idea. When you said shadows this was my first thought. Going to post another version though because I really don't like the blue leaves on the oil bottle so I'm making them the shirt colour.

And here we go :o)

Oh it's slighty bigger than the previous one. Mistake. Comments?

Pah-leeesse give some input! Ta muchly :o)

It's great!!

I think I'm about ready to sub this. Leaving it up for a little bit this morning for any last minute input. Thanks for all the comments folks!

I really like this idea, and i think its definately ready to sub!

I finally managed to sub this - had a few problems. I tried doing a blog but not too sure how that whole thing works so if anyone can spell that out for me it would be much appreciated. Cheers!

what exactly do you want to do? Just post a blog to say it's been subbed?

Yes something like that. Isn't that the usual thing to do???

You don't need to advertise your subs in the blogs, some people do, some don't, it's up to you

Thanks Petanca. Haven't really had time to do much about it anyway so good to no it's not a requirement . This is up for scoring now too.