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Bluelunar on Apr 04 '09
This is my second submission. I like the cute-gothic style so I'm going to keep designing in this style. My initial idea was the girl holding the teddy with a slit throat and blood dripping but my boyfriend suggested having a boy crying in the background holding the remains of teddy's arm. I think it'll look funny on a T-shirt!
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Bluelunar on Apr 05 '09
Sorry, see V2. I made the mistake of refreshing the page when I was submitting :(
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simonjs on Apr 08 '09
What would a monochrome version of this look like?
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theevidenceisme on Apr 08 '09
checking out your other versions i like the line drawing better than the finished color ... i would just use black line drawing and then add red for the blood ... the puddles of blood look too pointy ... but good drawing
check out mine www.threadless.com/critique/41157/On_Top_of_the_World |
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Bluelunar on Apr 08 '09
I agree with theevidenceisme, my drawing skills are much better than my colouring skills... so I went back to my sketch book...
Is this one ready for submission or does it need more improvements? Thanks! |
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GLEICIANE on Apr 08 '09
Muito legal
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HelenXue on Apr 08 '09
It might help if their bangs had varied widths and starting points. =)
Please check out my design: Click Here |
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Bluelunar on Apr 08 '09
I think this would be better.
Not sure what HelenXue means about the bangs... |
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sleepwalkclothing on Apr 08 '09
I agree with the comment about the bangs. They meant that the bangs are all exactly the same width and just TOO cartoonish. Make each one a different size and length to add to the characters. I also think you should continue with the colored version (this looks to sketchy). Add a skin tone to the boy and fix the puddles of blood and you'll be good to go.
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Bluelunar on Apr 09 '09
I went back to my vector design and added colours to it, this time with more care...
Might play around with the colours a bit more though. :) |
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i like this vector drawing better than the handdrawn versions.
add some shading, like you did with v.5 and it looks much better. the shirt color works really good here! what's the placement gonna be? |
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yeah...stick with this vector one...its lookin really nice...just do what mtths said....good luck!
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atzh on Apr 10 '09
Ah yes, fantastic job on the vector. It's really good. Love the contrast of blood with the monochrome tone
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fat_lip on Apr 10 '09
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Toon monster on Apr 10 '09
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jonsen on Apr 10 '09
ha! cracy idea! goor work. hm, maybe could try to make a thin shade under her feet just that we dont think that she's flying.
but i think you could score with this idea! Please give me a critique!Please give me a critique! |
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JASONisGRAND on Apr 10 '09
Very unique idea.
I like it a lot. |
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SoapSuds on Apr 10 '09
Cute idea!
I think you may want to give the girl a bit more of a comical-evil expression on her face though, she looks a little dazed..! |
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torov on Apr 10 '09
I think the girl looks cool. I think the boy needs to be on the front with her. The story gets completed "faster".
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fat_lip on Apr 11 '09
Hm, I think for the placement, just stick to version 7. No need for front and back, because it just looks weird imo.
Other than that, everything seems fine. (: |
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atzh on Apr 11 '09
agree with the rest for placement. There's not much going on here so putting them together in front wouldn't appear too cluttered. :)
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Tigerdog on Apr 11 '09
Submit it with both of them in front.
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pkoe462 on Apr 12 '09
i like this idea, but i think it would look better if both of them were on the front. good luck and thanks for the comment
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reynaldo on Apr 13 '09
its so cute its emo lol
i luv it |
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Poopiedesign on Apr 13 '09
love it. I like the green drabby tee color, not the blue.
What if the girl wasn't centered on the front? Don't lesson to them about the wrap around. I like that the designs go from back to front. It's not a ad. you don't need the viewers to get the shirt in a split second. |
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Toon monster on Apr 13 '09
haha the shirt is cute. I like it have any suggestions formine?
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play a little more with the placemant, but i think you'd better keep them both on the front instead of splitting it up... the left foot of the girl is rotated, or change the other one, but they both look a bit weird.
maybe add some shade on her arms/legs and maybe on the ground, to create more distance between the two. open for suggestions about the reflections: sub shoal |
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julie 14 on Apr 14 '09
This shirt is nice but y is she smiling?
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Bluelunar on Apr 14 '09
Most people thought the kid looks better on the front so I moved him back. Also, I changed the girl's left foot and tried to give her an evil look.
Hope this looks better! P.S. She is smiling because it's an evil smile? Tell me if it looks bad. |
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julie 14 on Apr 14 '09
looks good
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MovieNess on Apr 14 '09
nice design! is it a woman or a girl though?
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Bluelunar on Apr 14 '09
:O Does it matter if she's a woman or a girl? I think she looks 14 but is actually 40 ;)
Thanks for your comments! |
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fat_lip on Apr 15 '09
Love the new look on the girl, it makes her look evil. I would say, it's ready for submission (:
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Louser on Apr 15 '09
I agree with Fat_lip, the blood really stands out :)
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mazzat on Apr 15 '09
now sure on the colour of the tee but other than that the design is fab! liking the monochrome!
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mazzat on Apr 15 '09
meant to say *not* sure!
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simonjs on Apr 15 '09
I agree with mazzat on the shirt colour, perhaps try a few different ones so we could see what it would look like..?
As for the placement, what does it look like about a third to half the size, and to the far bottom right of the tee (left from the wearers point of view). The design itself is definitely ready for submission! Don't touch the design! :-D |
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jfloridino on Apr 15 '09
haha like the shirt a lot, definately like the look on the main character's face, sets the mood well, all in all, i think ur ready to submit!
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Leo Hunte on Apr 15 '09
Good for a fun loving rebel. Some kids might find it disturbing. Good for a rock chick to wear to a concert. The sort of T she would wear a night to a club. Wicked but funny.
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Leo Hunte on Apr 15 '09
Sorry typo error - (wear at night not a night)
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lynisthebest on Apr 15 '09
i really like your design
i think itll be better though if he had like tears running down his face instead of his tears just in his eyes |
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hosojima22 on Apr 15 '09
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atzh on Apr 15 '09
hmm good call there, i must agree with hosojima about the shadows. The blood is fine imo :) Love the new expression.. keep it up :)
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notnorm on Apr 15 '09
The color choices are good (the olive green with the blood works well).
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z_s_a on Apr 15 '09
this is funny. maybe you could put a mouth on the teddy bear that is wide open so that it shows that it's surprised.
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Nnora on Apr 15 '09
hei i like your poor teddy! haha:)) i like the idea, good work!:)
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Bluelunar on Apr 15 '09
Thanks for the comments!
I only have time to mess about with the placement tonight but I might add more tears on the kid's face. Which colour tee do you think is best? I like the pink one and the gray one above it. |
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weezums on Apr 15 '09
i like the gray one too :) i like that it means the whole thing is in shades of gray apart from the blood which looks really bright... like the Sin City of t shirts!
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4wordsback on Apr 15 '09
I like the concept, i would try match the colour tones to the appropriate shirt cause right now with the gray scale design on the grey shirt looks the best.
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Notapaperdoll on Apr 15 '09
I like the darker grey & green tee.
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SirG on Apr 15 '09
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87Riots on Apr 15 '09
I think if this what a about 25% bigger and the blood trail to the boy wrapped around to the back of the shirt it would be rad
thanks for your comments on mine |
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atzh on Apr 15 '09
well what can i say, i disagree with 87riots ^^ but perhaps thats personal preference. In any case, the top 3 colours would be my pick. Cheers :)
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Just_Call_Me_AL on Apr 16 '09
haha i like the grey =]
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PBOt on Apr 16 '09
Like it best on the green (the way you had it in the previous versions) although (and this is probably just me) I would loose the blood, it just doesn't fit right for me, maybe some fluffy stuffing?
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Bluelunar on Apr 16 '09
Thanks for you comments :D I'll stick with the blood cuz it's funny!
I agree with the majority, the gray shirt looks more suited to the style :) I've made the blood darker and gave the kid more tears. Placed the design on a photo to give a feel of what it'd look like in real life. If I have time at the weekend, I'll play around with different colour tones on coloured shirts. :) Thanks! |
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BlueHippo on Apr 16 '09
Heh, cute, but maybe a little too small. Since when did they make teddy bears that blead? hehe. The girl's eyes look a bit too large, but it fits. The shadow on the bear's back could probably go all the way down his leg and curl up his foot. And the shading on the disconnected arm goes the wrong way compared to the other part of him.. and also looks a bit too round. Maybe add some shines to the bear's little eyes as well? Needs a bit of work, but coming along nicely ;D
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ebreakx on Apr 16 '09
woah.... i agreee with da hippo
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sumocloud on Apr 16 '09
i like the gore coming out of the teddy bear... but how about if instead of having the sex bomb we have a hunter shooting the bear as if he is on a hunt in the wild..? i realise this is quite far from what you've done.. but i think it would help if the girl had a bit more character or maybe even a reason for hurting the bear.
pls take a look at mine http://www.threadless.com/critique/42133/The_Impossible_Grind |
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abombloves on Apr 17 '09
Make it BIGGER! I really like this concept, it should be bigger tho, so everyone can see it's awesomeness.
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poisonberry on Apr 17 '09
I agree with BlueHippo .. everything he said really ..
You have a nice style of illustration |
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i also agree with bluehippo, the design is not yet finished, you still have work to do, but that's coming ;)
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fat_lip on Apr 17 '09
I think you should stick to submitting version 9, that one looks just better imo. Better on an army green tee.
Score mine (: |
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jasonpopis on Apr 17 '09
I really like the humor behind this tee. I also really love the fact that it's on a grey t-shirt. Don't change that. I love that big time .. the monochromatic with the pop of red blood really works nicely.
The only thing I think I have a problem with is I don't really get any real sense of depth in between the two characters. I think if you pay more attention to the scale and how every detail about the boy in the background should be smaller, and then everything gradually gets bigger as it gets to the girl, I think it would improve the look. It just .. doesn't look right to me right now. Critique me, people! |
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atzh on Apr 17 '09
hm yes, perhaps a chest placement?
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IM LUVI TAT SPECIAL GUY on Apr 17 '09
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Dexter Spandex on Apr 17 '09
is it wrong to think his big sister there is hot?
I agree with the comment about the greyscale and the blood red working nicely. blah blah blah |
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Bluelunar on Apr 19 '09
Thanks for the inputs :)
I've added more shadows to the teddy but not sure if I should add shadows on the ground or not. Which one do you think is better? |
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VVolf on Apr 19 '09
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Perfect0 on Apr 19 '09
I like without the shadows.
If it's not too much trouble check out my first critique http://www.threadless.com/critique/42255/Mondays |
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atzh on Apr 19 '09
yep no shadows, and the bear's disjointed hand still needs work on the shading as what bluehippo said :)
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I think the girl and bear should be larger and in the center. That way you can compress the composition. Thanks for looking at Re-Gurger King!
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simonjs on Apr 20 '09
I agree with atzh; go for the option with no shadows on the ground also the shading on the bears severed arm looks a bit heavy at this scale, perhaps make this a bit more subtle.
Otherwise, perfert in my opinion! :-) |
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yup just work on the composite alittle, it's a bit too small to see the hand being ripe off. good stuff :)
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Didika on Apr 20 '09
I loved your style, but something is missing for me, and I don't know what it is... maybe just drawing a path, or something like that...
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The image has really improved throughout the critique process.
I don't understand the appeal of the idea, though. It's funny because she broke someone's toy, and he's crying? |
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Bluelunar on Apr 20 '09
Thanks for the comments :)
I amended the shadow on teddy's broken arm, hope it looks better now! What do you think of this placement? |
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VVolf on Apr 20 '09
I love it :) I still like the one more when they're both on the same side though. Might just be me. I'd give both 5 pts, so yeah. Good :)
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Dexter Spandex on Apr 20 '09
really nice placement. think it's ready to sub now.
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Howdy Howdy on Apr 20 '09
I maybe liked it slightly better with shadows under them, but this still looks great
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PBOt on Apr 21 '09
I like this, think it could work front and back. Sub.
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this is a bit too bloody for Threadless to be honest. You have a cool illustration style tho...see if you can rework this idea
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the lonely pawn on Apr 21 '09
Thanks, I'm glad you liked my design : ). I love this design, by the way! I gave it a Submit vote earlier, but I guess I forgot to comment it. I think it would make a great print.
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Angaechor on Apr 21 '09
I like it, submit :)
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i think it looks great! and as for too bloody for threadless - bah to that! i'm sure there's a blood red t-shirt somewhere on here of a woman with a chainsaw, so this is mild in comparison.
seriously i like it, great concept and it's come far. sub it already and when you've done that, will you give me some help here please! |
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sumocloud on Apr 21 '09
placement is cool. perhaps would look even better if the girl is in the bottom left, and the boy is in the same place, so the blood trail goes right along the bottom of the shirt? but i think you should pretty much sub it.
mine http://www.threadless.com/critique/41937/Intensity_in_Intestine_City |
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SENSEY on Apr 21 '09
cool, submit
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RoeeSch on Apr 21 '09
It looks good. How about adding squirts of blood from the little bear in a "kill bill" kind of style?
something like this |
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simonjs on Apr 21 '09
Love this. I think you've got the placement spot-on too! Submit! I want to buy it!
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atzh on Apr 21 '09
Hmm i guess, i still prefer all on front if possible. But it's your call :) I believe it's ready for the subs :)
Some votes on my first sub please :) |
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simininu on Apr 21 '09
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Bluelunar on Apr 22 '09
Thanks everyone :)
I like the design on the front too but thought I'd do something different. Some friends said most designs are placed on the front center of the shirt and they'd like to wear something different and I agree with them! Hope it's alright with everyone :) About being too bloody... Yeah I agree with digsy... There are way bloodier and scary designs on Threadless so I think mine is cool :) Actually I quite like the "Kill Bill" style as suggested by RoeeSch but if I do that now, it will change it to a completely different design! But maybe I'll use that idea in the future :D |
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gabuto on Apr 22 '09
Wonderful. Iīd just make the girlīs lashes a very little shorter, and her breasts a very little larger (iīm not kidding), but itīs reready to go.
If you want, tell me something about mine http://www.threadless.com/critique/41491/Pollomalo Thank you |
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gabuto on Apr 22 '09
One petition, could you tell me (in simple words, English is not my language) how to put the link to my submission on the comment? So as not to have to copy and paste it on the navigation bar?
Thanks, greetings. |
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gabuto on Apr 23 '09
Thank you for commenting, Bluelunar,youīve been very helpful.
About my chickīs tiny clothes, hehehe, well, for me itīs part of the joke, how obviously unproportioned they are. Like your girlīs head, for instance (whom i keep finding cuter and cuter). Iīll think about the moon, on the one hand i like the sketchy-childish look of it, bot more importantly, iīm not that confident about my skills that i will not destroy other parts of my image if i start touching around :D |
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mazzat on Apr 23 '09
i like it front and on both sides but either way it's def ready to submit. i'd buy it!
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well, i prefer the previous background tee color you've chosen...but anyway, with this placement it looks you could submit it ;)
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Bluelunar on Apr 27 '09
Going to submit it now :)
Thanks for everyone's support! |
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atzh on Apr 27 '09
yay, good luck at the subs! :)
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fat_lip on Apr 28 '09
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hatestheyanks on Apr 28 '09
Good luck
I would appreciate your vote on my design too, thanks! http://www.threadless.com/submission/207639/Your_Inner_Animal |
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fat_lip on Apr 29 '09
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Dexter Spandex on Apr 30 '09
Threadless seem to be taking there time these days before stuff gets submitted... My moonlanding is finally up! here
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grandjean on May 05 '09
cool
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