Hi, if you see another 'Eve' critique, please ignore it, I think it has a broken link.



The words in the design is a part of the lyrics of Sweep (by Blue Foundation). Awesome band, check them out if you can.

It looks great, nice one!

hm.. it good..

http://www.threadless.com/critique/40434/wearemonster

any idea what method can be used to print this ?

simulated print.



i would loose the text and try some raster gradients ;-9

lol i just like the word 'sorrow', but ok i will remove the text.



What are raster gradients ?



+ Is this a little too plain ?

It reminds me of sins, i love it. awesome job

Thanks



More opinions ?

colours ? should i leave in it black white and red ?

I think this would look great on a black t-shirt, with Eve coming out of the darkness, is a temptress sort of way.



I think Eve needs green eyes, or some colour in her eyes to bring her face more "forward".



Your drawing is great. Nice detail on the snake too!



I don't think it needs any colour. There is something quite striking about black and white starkness... but perhaps that is just me?





....I'd be honoured if you could take a look at mine- Gaia’s Autumn

green eyes yess..

ok i will find time to add some colours to her eyes and remove the text



anything more ?

I think the words are too subtle. I thought they were watermarks at first.

Does it look like she is smelling the snake?

Otherwise great illustration.

The placement of the snake looks a bit odd, but I think this works on white, for sure.



Take a look at my design if you can. I'd greatly appreciate it. http://www.threadless.com/critique/40624/Quest_iquest_on

does eve have a beard or a burqa? either way it's cool.

everytime i draw hair over the face i get comments about it looking like a beard..lol ( i really got to do something about that)



about the snake its supposed to be in front

lol not smelling (maybe kissing it but definitely no smelling o.O)



i would appreaciate ideas on how to improve on the snake's position.

made some minor changes



1. removed the text

2.corrected the lightings of the apple



Need help on placements + should the apple be in black and white too ?

thats awesome, no deffo keep the apple red. the only thing is the snake looks a bit crinkly, and halway down his back gets suddenly thicker which looks wierd.

could you simplify his scales and smooth him out a bit?

point taken, i will give the snake some slimming sessions and the smoothen the scales.

Ohh, great art. i would continue her hair down a bit more..

okey i'll work on the hair.



thanks for the comments ppl.

Keep the apple it looks great. I know this is said already but just fix the snake a little and maybe the tongue also. But Great work.

Keep the apple in color. I think you should try to color the eyes too... a subtle yet powerful color that draws people's eyes in! Great illustration, very talented!!



When you get a chance, please critique my work... thanks!

http://www.threadless.com/critique/40909/Tweet_Tweet

maybe blue eyes, the hair i think is fine with that amount of detail, i think the lines that it is made up of should maybe be a bit more constant, like 1 stroke. if that makes sense

could u crit mine? http://www.threadless.com/critique/41023/Dragon

I wouldn't add color to the eyes, I think if you're going to keep the hair without color than the eyes should be aswell, that way the focus points stay within the apple and snake.



I love this design a lot. What would the placement be on this?

yeah...it needs a little color...just a little. if u plan not to put any color on the hair or the eye...just change the color of the background (watercolor textures)

yeah give that a go, it may or may not work but its worth trying

great work. I think her nose should be a little smaller. it would be more feminine that way. I agree with the comments of color in the eyes. I think you should change the apple color to green and match to more green you can put in her eyes.





Into the whirlwind

Nice illo. I think the snake's tongue should be straight out. As far as color, it would be interesting to see the snake rendered (like Eve) in line and leave the apple as is. There's one hair line near Eve's nose that bothers me, just a nit picking. Anyway, looking good, should get even better as you go along. Cheers!

wow thats a bunch of great comments.





-smoothen the hair, and the one beside her nose

-work on the snake

-smaller nose (lol yes it looks kinda big)

-try out green apples instead

-as for the eyes, i tried out a greenish-blue colour but i cant seem to make it look realistic (i will check out some online tutorials)

-i will post a coloured version asap, and we shall compare



thanks a bunch everybody!

i dont think green will work as well, red and white are a tried and tested colour scheme that always looks good. but give it a try

The snake might look better whispering into her ear. I thought at first glance, she was going to bite the snake instead of the apple!

I think the hair confuses people because it has odd humps in it more like cloth instead of flowing smoothly like hair.hair pic



Comment on mine?

Ride the Storm

yea, i always liked red black and white, its like the best colour combo, but of course there is no harm trying green.



wow whispering to the ear will enhance the idea even more, great idea!



i will smoothen the hair, but it will still cover most of the mouth area, as i cant draw mouth really well.

Check out these tutorials:

drawing hair

draw a mouth

hi Fujiapple... I did some changes based on your suggestions, if you get a chance, please check out my crit and let me know what you think. THANK YOU!



http://www.threadless.com/critique/40909/Tweet_Tweet

thanks Francesa!



i will work on it asap....



grrrr... need time....school

i think you should render the snake in line too and just fill in the apple. and keep her eyes as is. it's nice to just see the shock of red. and as for her hair, i'm going to argue both sides and say that you should either add more texture (maybe some extra lines or something) or completely smooth it out. :)

i like the coloring a lot.i might make the snake green... but it's whatever. i like it.



help me please?

This is only a rough version, i'll do the backround later on.



Changes made:

Smaller nose (does it look natural ?)

Thinner snake

Smooth hair ( is it too smooth, which version is better?)

as for the green colour scheme, it made it look too much like Poison Ivy...



Please comment. Thanks

this looks good. the nose looks fine, so does the snake. the hair does look alittle flat, but i'm sure with color it'll look fine. can't wait to see your progression! :)



please score my dino sub if you have time :)

The Bible sucks

read the Watchmen or Fight Club

hmm the hair just look so .. plain



pls do comment :/

yeah the hair is too smooth. The nose looks slightly off, too round maybe? I love the rendering on the apple. Keep up the good work.

nice symbolism of temptation

The idea's good but i agree that the hair is kinda plain.



Please Critique

Is there something I'm meant to take away from this design other than 'Eve was sultry. ....Sultry and evil..."?



And, um, wasn't it Eve who took the first bite?



Temptation - check. What else?





Check out my slogans, if you have a moment, k?

Howsabout giving the hair some more detail and some finger nails. Dont have to give her too much detail - she would still contrast well with the snake and apple. I reckon it would look good on a dark red tshirt.

Check out my critique - its called Motorcone.

fix the right eye



Any last comments on mine?

Here's a thought... what if, instead of the snake going over her mouth the way it is now, the snake crossed over her eyes and her mouth is what was visible? Open, like it's about to take a bite out of the apple in her hand...?



That at least brings all the elements together in a more purposeful way, IMO....

i wanted her to be offering the apple to someone, but i can try making her eat it.



that is if i can give her lips some liposuction, i drew one, and the lips was like super huge.



ques- any symbol/ pictures/ ideas that is related to temptation ? ( i thought of filling the hair in with some of these pictures)



Thanks

I'd be careful of trying to 'charge up' the image with too much stuff. For a chance at success, you have to leave room for the viewer to make their own interpretation. A chick biting at an apple while she holds a snake makes your point, but also is open to interpretation.... maybe it's just a cool pic for some, and others might see other ideas... the audience has to have room to breathe on their own if you want them to like it. No one likes to be preached at....

Oh, I was also going to say, I kinda liked your first take on the hair, because it also looked a bit like a veil or cloak, as well as possibly being hair.

4th version is up.

Added the lips!!



*bygrinstow, yea you are right, made some changes based on your comment. Thanks



I personally perfer version 2, maybe clean up the lines a lil.

V2 looks more mysterious.



Please leave some comment.

I like this version better than 2. But the snake looks strange in her hand, it looks like it's just been copied and pasted. Maybe you could have it wrap around her arm.



Great idea!



Critique me?

lol i was being lazy, so i copy and pasted it there.



any idea on the snake's pose ?

I still think the snake should go in front of her eyes... it'd move it away from 'cheesecake' and focus attention on her mouth about to bite the apple... the temptation thingy, y'know?

It might be cool if the snake wrapped around her arm but was looking directly out at the audience. Could be very... creepy, in a good way.



I wouldn't put the snake in front of her eyes. Her eyes are very powerful.



P.S. I answered your question about my design.

Except... now that I look. Her eye on the right(above the snake) looks a little... wonky. Too small, maybe.

yea hmm what happen to the eyes grrr..

how the lips ?



i did try making the snake face out at the audience, just that i couldnt make it look like a snake from that view..it just looked like a stick =.=



i might try change the snake all together, making it wrap around the hand.



But i still wanna know if you people prefer v2 or v4 ?

Wow, I really like this.. you have a nice style.

I think it might be nice with a little more texture on the hair.. keep working on it though, it's looking promising.



Please check out my design, I'd love to know what you think

http://www.threadless.com/critique/23748/Out_to_Dry

Thanks.

I think the eyes look fine. Not being perfectly symmetrical is more realistic.

more texture..hmm..

should the background be forest/leaves/trees , instead of just some paint ?



anyway hows the lips :{

the bottom lip seems abit too thick.

There's a slight problem with the hand holding the snake. Maybe coil the snake around her a little. I think it's going in the right direction. Great work!



Please crit mine!

Her bottom lip does look just a teeny bit too large.



And I DEFINITELY prefer this version.

Erm guys, can i post this already ?



i would like to sub v2 first then continue on v4

I think the way v2 is composed, it looks like a choice... "Apple? or snake?"



v4 better makes your point. If you're happy with it, sub v4.

hand looks fine, the snake looks fine, the mouth looks fine, btw.

look at my shirt http://www.threadless.com/critique/41669/radio_head

fun. go to go.

This will be the final version i guess.

mm yeah, looks good. Im just worried it'd be too simple for people's tastes. But i like it like this, the monotone really brings out the apple and the snake :)

yea there is too much white

but argh @#$%

try it on a different colour shirt?

Stunning. Your work reminds me of Adam Hughes. I don't think that the lips were a good mood, but I'm way late on that comment. Very strong art, no doubt at all who it is.



I would appreciate your opinion

I think adding some color to the eyes would make this pop

hmm i might delay this since there are still things to improve on



erm colours (any suggestion)

and about the lips, how can i improve on it

the eyes..gah..still cant seem to make it look real with colours on

Wow just checked out Adam Hughes. AWESOME + im a big fan of Marvel and DC.



Someone like him shouldnt be compared to me. He's godlike.

hmm added colours for the eyes



should i change the colour to orangy-red, it looked kinda nice, scary though



comments ?

like it but not the color of the eyes, maybe a natural blue or green, but other wise I LOVE this, great submission.



check my posts out any critiques welcome

Peircing eyes. Very nice.

ok, i will tone down the colour, colour the snakes eye maybe



any more ?

The snake's head is obscured by the dark apple. If you squint at the design (a GREAT artist's tool) the snake head disapeares completely. Move the snake's head to a space with white behind it. I still think whispering in her ear is a good way to go.

bah 2 dont submit

I like the snake in front of the apple... apple 'tempting', snake 'bad'. That's the basic theme, right?



Maybe if the snake were lighter, or if the apple had a highlight right behind the snake's head....

This will be the final version.

I really love this. I think its def. ready! Submit!

I like the eyes. Great design. I think you should submit it! :)

Somehow I really like this as well, I don't really think I get it, but it's definetly nice :)



btw, I only found it because I wanted to tell you that I just uploaded a new version of my defined smiley:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/41931/Defined_Smiley

I Liked the Rough One more that any other ones…

you obviously have very excellent drawing skills but the design is what's bringing down your scores.



if i had seen this before you submitted, these would have been my comments:

- add color in her hair skin and lips. there's nothing telling us that this image is special right now.

- add lines in eve's hair to show it's direction or at least some sort of texture so it's not just a blank space.

- add fingernails

- outline her mouth the way everything else is outlined.

- add an effect to the color layer like watercolor or wet sponge.

- bring the pupil on the left down so we can see it better and enlarge the light points to make the eye "wetter".



some general advice for improving designs:

1) avoid previewing on a white tee and background (unless it's absolutely necessary to the design). it brings everyone's scores down by at least 0.5 or more because people who don't know how to use photoshop use it to hide their lack of computer skills. the voters see right through it. if it has to be white then go cream.

2) never preview with the vector shirt. photoshop it onto an actual model. you can find some great images to use for this on threadless' flickr page.

3) post a blog asking people to critique your design and try to get printed people to give you input. they are more harsh but that's because they want to help you succeed. you'll notice that those of us who have been printed used to suck; look at our first few designs.



don't get discouraged! keep submitting!

very nice

sweet stuff!

on a seperate note, smusi's comments ought to be helpful (for me as well hehe)!



i'll b watching this one!

Hey Eugene - I saw this critique and I thought you might be interested in a study I'm doing:



Posted a critique? Does feedback improve designs?



Just to provide a brief explanation. I'm trying to see how feedback influences the development of ideas (in this case design). So, when you sign up, I'll send you a brief personality survey and then I'll gather your critique data and see how it all works together via the magic of statistics. Everyone that signs up will get a free personality profile and be entered in a raffle to win an iPod.

I really love this.



Please take a moment to crit my design Click here