This is a rework of an older design I had called Future Office Manager or FOM for short. I wanted to try FOM Attacks kind of theme for it.

Heh-heh, I like it.



For me the offset really works for the machine/monster but not so much on the people. Or maybe it's because you have different strengths of colour amongst the people. Did you already try this with only 4 colours (2x blue, 2x orange)?

The offset hurts my eyes.



There's already so much action & offset makes it too much. Simplify this and it'll be easier to read.

Cool. I agree it could be simplified. BTW, I like the thumbnail you used :)

ok I'll look to simplify it. I liked the offset. :(

Updated version with offset removed, Shadows added, and slightly altered bottom to the ray.

I'd like to see some flames or burning.



*rubs hands together in scheming fashion*

WOW do I love this. Should the guy he's shooting be skeltonized?

Either way, i'd 5$ it right now.



Critique me!

"Should the guy he's shooting be skeletonized?" Oh that's a good idea. perhaps I can try to do some subtle skeleton pats on them. I have some bone and skull type illustrations at home, so I'll try that later tonight.

hahah, "pats" should be "Parts"

Ditching the 3d was a good move but I think it would still be good within is evil eye rays. I think that would add a unique laser effect. Good work.



I would appreciate your vote and opinion.

i like it. might be nice if the characters in the rays had shadows cast. y'know, cut outta the orange rather than like the shadows for the other guys

Very nice! But I would like to see something happening to the people in the death-ray, now they just run trough.



Got a minute?

Added some hot new additions. Sizzle!

I may need to do a flash presentation for this one to show a few different views including a detail and a model shot in addition to the art and the flat shirt.



Any other details that need fine tuning?

that's really cool what you did with the skeletons on fire. maybe fix the planes, like the front guys shadow looks wrong compared to the monster's wheels. also that last guy getting his head burned doesn't seem like he is really in the line of fire. more papers flying everywhere :) I think you'll enjoy mine, really.

any more feedback?

it's really the incinerated people that make this. maybe make the chair legs less wonky.

thanks. I think there are a few more little details to fix. More to come this weekend.

sometimes I wish I could make a killer robot and unleash him in the office. :D



Take a closer look at your scaling. everyone is either really short or that is the tallest water cooler in the world. haha Keep the shadows consistent as far as their direction goes. smoothe out the edge of the death ray, it looks a little jagged. and last (me just being picky) the leading leg/wheel on the chair doesn't really flow with the perspective of the others, maybe a little tweaking?



If you get a chance I'd love some feedback. Lamb Shanks

It's the tallest water cooler in the world. Great feedback thanks.

I decided to replace the robot with a new one. I need to vector it up but I have a few options for the side panel to decide between.



Should I use the Vent (A), the Pocket Protector (B) or the Employee Badge (C)?



The next version will incorporate this new robot into the design and it will have the perspective fixes that people mentioned.

I'm also trying to decide if I'll need the speech bubble with "F!RED" in it.

No bubble and employee badge. bring back the death rays and firey employees though. :D

Perhaps have the a display panel on the robot that says "fired" in a digital font. Like its acting out a command in its program. That way, you avoid the speech bubble, and its subtle enough to not be considered text, you know how much threadless-ers hate text. Otherwise, I love the new robot, the tie was a great touch. I think the side panel is where the "fired" text should be displayed. Ok now its your turn to help me! haha

side panel c.



huge improvement over the last robot.

I like the employee badge. I don't know if the tie works, it kind of gets lost under the robot. Maybe a bowtie. I don't think you need the speech bubble, but the needs to be something. Maybe he has a printer slot on him that is printing his pink slip. Nice start. If you get a chance, can you score/comment on mine? http://www.threadless.com/submission/198887/Watch_Your_back

Thanks

don't worry dversdzn, the plan is to use this robot with the ray and dying employees. I stated that in the first comment below the updated design.

New robot added. I left off the "F!RED" part but I might try to add it in later somehow.

I seem to have left off the wall line under the door. oops.

Nicely improved!

NIce idea!

I'd add the fired, I like it.

Much better! I agree, it might be good to get the 'fired' worked in somehow.

I wouldn't add the F!RED, it actions speak louder than words, and words are really only necessary when the design unclear. I think the design should be bigger though, and maybe a cool printing method?

I agree, great improvement from initial design. Very cool.



Please check out my design:

Need help with a title

WOW! So much better. Good use of critique man! Love the burning people, and the robot is way scarier too. If I could pick on one thing tho, its that the people is in silhouettes. It would be better if they were the same style as the robot in my opinion.



I could use some help to:

Please vote and scream PRINT!

Also the man in front and the burning man closest to the robot both has almost the same position.



I could use some help to:

Please vote and scream PRINT!

this is awesome... the only thing I'm not loving are the shadows of the blue running guys.

yeah, I'm thinking about doing something about the shadows and the perspective issues I'm still having.

i love the change from the rolling chair! it looks great.



2 things, you chould make the very front guy larger (you could possibly have him comming closer to the 'viewer' with a white outline of a horrified expression. the other thing is you should have the very front guys body position altered so that it looks different from the last guy getting burned who is only 1/2 skeleton!



other than that it looks fantastic!



Check Mine Out?

looking good.

very nice illustration, i agree about the shadows and it would be good the have the bloke at the front of the pic running towards us. as for the text, i don't agree that text is only there when the design isn't clear, cleverly done text is as much a part of it as anything else, it doesn't even have to be readable (loads of people wear t-shirts with foreign slogans that they can't read) so if you can make it part of the design i say go for it :-)



please help me out;

http://www.threadless.com/critique/38143/Dawn_Of_The_Egg

thanks

Just some mirror edits and then I wanted to try the design on the Blue Jean colored shirt.

I think you could work a stapler in it some where...

dang it...I just did something like this...But I can't top this...and you came up with yours first...looks great. I think the robot could look slightly more pschyotic tho...

yeah I have been thinking about how to work in a red stapler some where.

you could have someone trying to shoot it with a stapler

I went back and forth between this and the previous version trying to put my finger on it.... the wall and door behind the main scene - I kinda miss it. I can see why you would remove it, if you afraid of clutter... but it 'grounded' the scene to me or something... so it's not just floating on the shirt... if I'd never seen the wall I probably wouldn't have ever thought that though... so I don't know if that's at all helpful. LOVE the concept, love all the changes you've made so far - I like it on the blue. Just. Clever. Love it.

I liked the wall stuff too. I was getting a lot of flack for my bad perspective due to the shadows and stuff so I got rid of those and the wall to see if it helped any without having to redraw new shadows and other stuff. The wall may return I'm not sure.

how bout some kind of stapler blinking on a interface on the robot and a lil read stapler in one of the people running...

I'm liking the wall elements in v5 the previous version with the exception of the door. I'd throw those back in but leave out the shadows. Looks great by the by. Like the addition of orange to the brain.

Ok. I added the wall line, water cooler and clocks back in. I also gave the guy in front a red stapler. Plus a few minor tweeks to stuff.

this is great

i love office space

and the red stapler

i believe you have my stapler...

heck push it into the running

http://www.threadless.com/submission/199376/Pear_Squared

if ya have a hot second

be generous...

hey... looking awesome! maybe you can keep the shadows under the fired employees... they looked good and it makes sence because the beam is creating a much higher lighting over them.

That's the only thing I think it's missing... everything elese is perfect!



please check my progress on Ram Memory

thanks. I was thinking the same thing about the shadows only being within the beam area under the flaming people. I'll probably create new ones since I didn't like the old ones 100%.

Added the shadows back in but added a halftone to fade them out. I had some fun with the water cooler and added a gold fish.

LOVE IT! Love the red stapler, the white papers instead of dark color of the person, the wall, watercooler and fish... Awesome. Awesome! Submit!

I think it's great. Only other comment would be that maybe the other people and the robot should have shadows for a bit more consistency, but really well done nonetheless.



Please critique my humble offering if you have time:



http://www.threadless.com/critique/38475/Half_Man_Half_Machine

Really good development on this, Bort.

Thanks Aled that means a lot. I think I need one last vote from folks on if I do or do not need the shadows on the guys within the fire. I'm not sure I like them 100% but I'm not sure how to fix them or if I want to add them to the rest of the group.



Shadows Yes or No?

I don't think the shadows are necessary, but they don't detract from the figures in the fire - so I think it's fine as is. They don't jump out me as being there or missing, in either version, unlike the wall.



I really don't think they are necessary on the other figures though, since they are already 'in the shadows' so to speak...? They are already silhouettes, and not in direct line of the light, so... I guess that's my 2¢! Take it light!

haha this is cool..

Like the shadows looks more realistic... but yea the guy in the front looks kind of weird..



Check mine out:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/38508/Giving_Hope

I like the shadows!! not sure if it's the best halftoning option, but they really look good! Gold fish is a great funny detail.



I'm almost done with Ram Memory I'd really appreciate your comments before submitting.

for some reason the halftone are not coming through right in the image as they do on my Illustrator file, I'll have to tweek them a bit to make them better.

Hve you tried to color the shadow with the shirt blue? Also the guy with the stapler is confusing: you could maybe make more visible wich one is the front arm.

Really cool design by the way.

I see what you mean about the arms. I think I have a solution that I'll try for the next version.

I'm getting so many conflicting views on this design from here and another place I have it posted for review that my head is spinning.

im loving the design....feel like that at work everyday!!!



check out mine:



http://www.threadless.com/critique/38544/Bird_Of_Prey

Do the silhouetted people need details or a more sketch like look to match the feeling that the robot has? I'm getting feedback that the Sketch style and the flat people don't mix. SO do I match the people to the robot by sketching the outlines of them and adding details to them like faces, clothes and stuff?

I think you could add similar detail (to the robot) for the guy in the foreground, but less or none for those behind.

Wow, fantastic evolution! The skeletons, the red stapler, all fantastic. The goldfish seems a bit random though.



I would appreciate your opinion

Nice work! Like ALL the changes. But either no one gets shadows or everyone gets shadows, you must be fair with these things ;-)



I could use some help to

Please vote and comment if you like it!

oh one more thing





metal mustache

Great the robot is very cool





critique mine please your opinion will be apreciated

YES!

Hah! Good work.

The guy in front might look good with the same treatment as the robot. Well, maybe similar, but less. The focus should stay on the robot.

Take away the yellow line from around his head. There is no reason for it. If the red stapler (genius!) was in the guy's right hand it would be more obvious.

Ahem... Why are there no women in your workplace?

LOVE the random goldfish. He's really out of place in all the terror.



Comment on mine?

BoobieWine

I promise to get back to this. I got sick and have not been able to work on it. I tried drawing the front guy to match up the style with the robot but I'm crap with faces so I don't know if I'll do it.

I also like the goldfish!



please vote and comment if you like it!



also I have a crtitique that I could use some help with:



building my way out of here

I honestly don't think the guy in front needs the detail... Your robot is the main focus, like you want it it to be, I would assume... he's shooting orange from his eyes drawing to you the skelotonized (is that a word?) guys, which also draws your eye to the guy holding the *awesome* red stapler... and that guy is in the shadow, so I think it's fine if he's silhouetted, not in full detail - otherwise it might pull your eye away from the robot initially. I like the way the 'story reads' as your eye follows from point a, to point b, and then to the 'suprise' at point c... and once you see all that you can't help but want to look at all of it, like the neato little fishy... I think it's perfect as is! But that's just my opinion, so take it however you will!

love it. i think they all need shadows or none...

please crit mine

New shadows. What do you think?

v9? new shadows?

Small detail changes. Still the new shadows.

it's done. submit this thing.



crit me please!

Awesome. Do it.

whats the difference between the last one?

Push it into the running

i want to give it a fat and juicy 5

minor changes to the robot's badge and tie are the biggest difference between this and the last version.

LOVE IT, I really think this thing is ready for submitting.

I think I'll build a flash presentation now.

sub it....



Check out one of my Latest!

This is ready. Great job!

Thanks for all the help. I submitted version 10.

Bad Day at the Office - SUBMITTED

the only thing I'm not loving is that you repeated some shadows... but no one will notice that except you and me ;) I promise I won't mention it when scoring if you promise to fix it when it gets printed (yeah! it will!!!)

Good luck!



Please take a look to my progress with Baseball bat