Why not have the rain coming out of the armpit? =)

Okay, I know that it's all lineart right now, and I know that it isn't ready to be submitted. Please do not tell me not to submit this without an explained reason. I want feedback about color (how many do I need, what should they be, etc.), placement, t-shirt color, etc.

If you're going to tell me that it needs work, please tell me HOW it needs work, as I know that it is nowhere near ready to submit.

That said, I quite like my toga-man, and it is amazing how good the human mind is at recognizing people-shapes whether or not they actually resemble a human being at all.

He reminds me of the Little Caesar's man.

Oh, and the concept is something like... our weather people sit in a windowless room and tell us what it's going to do outside. Why don't we just get out there and look for ourselves.

Or something. Of course, you can make up whatever concept you want and put it with the design if that makes you happy.

Thanks for all comments!
-L

I would say use a light blue shirt as the background, then a dark grey for the cloud and light grey for the apparatus. The rest is trickier, and thus up to you.

Nice idea, but it's a bit too detailed I think. I agree with the above comment on colors.

Maybe it'll be easier to critique as a v2 with colors and all.

//tazara

i really don't like the guy-he freaks me out (:

i really don't like the guy-he freaks me out (:

i think more deatail would make it a bit better... like some shading or something.

I reckon more detail on the telescope cloud and make a better man (bigger too) but i like the shapes your using with him. Make the stand for the telescope better. Maybe a type of staircase to get to the top. Possibly leading into the ground???? That might help your concept of everyone staying inside checking the weather. At the moment its just weird with the blocks and there isn't any proper route for him to get down.

clump all of the geometric shapes together to bring the focus to the tripod and microscope. how did the figure get to the top? the ladder doesn't come from the ground.

while i like the figure, the design is so 3D/geometric that the styles of the the 2D figure and his surroundings don't mesh.

when it comes to coloring, drop the lines and colorblock the image with monotone blue, purples or greens.

i wanna see some color mang :)

Alright. We have color.

I submitted this as an animated gif, but I put the time delay as 2:1 so that you can see the detail for longer. I know how annoying it is to be looking at something and have it change unnecessarily on you, but I don't know how or have the programs with which to make interactive flash yet.

I think the blue is really nice. I know that I didn't add more stairs. I may later, or I may attribute it to the fact that togaman picked up the ladder each time he climbed up it. Although, I thought that I might a.) take it away alltogether so that it doesn't feel like it's missing, or b.) add a bunch of different kinds of staircase type things around (spirals, if I can get the perspective anywhere near right, rope ladders, that sort of thing). I want to keep the anachronistic feel without going too terribly overboard.

I really like the color. It pretty much only works well on this color t-shirt, but it does okay on the "athletic heather" color, as well. I didn't like it as much so I didn't put it up.

As far as other changes go, I made togaman larger, he is now looking through the top telescope piece instead of the bottom one. I added detail to the tripod, and I took a couple of rungs out of the ladder to make it suit its user's new size. Oh, and I made more of a toga on togaman. I previously had it showing everything underneath it, so I added the dark color for contrast, and the clip-thing at the shoulder.


Specifically, what do I need to do in order to make this a more-finished piece. The color helped a lot, but I feel that it's still not quite ready.

As always, I do appreciate all of your comments, even if I don't have the time to respond to each one individually.

Thanks!
-L

I like the coloring, but perhaps the platform area could so with some detail work? Vents, rivets? Compared with the shading on the telescope etc, it stands as out as big empty blocks.

A lot better, but you should maybe do something with the "empty" boxes? More details or make use of them?

I like the color added in there. I think more detail on the blocks and maybe some more detail on the telescope.

Definitely add ladders, stairs, spiral staircases, elevators, escalators--think of every crazy way of upward transportation, and put it in there.

But I really, really like the artwork...especially the toga man! Also, you can go either way with detailing the platforms. On one hand, it looks nice simple, but on the other hand, it looks slightly lazy.

Nice job.

its too... geometric. Im not feeling the whole line/box tool feel to it. Also, you obviously have some understanding of perspective, but the whole 3d look of the surroundings combined with the flat 2D look of the character (who as a hand-doodled character) completely clashes with the plain line style of his surroundings. And why are the rain drops so large? Im not really feeling this concept in general, so I guess my honest suggestion would be to start over.

Get rid of the black lines on the edges of the boxes.

I love it!!!

I think the concept is certainly fun, but I agree that the character doesn't fit. He's nifty, but he doesn't match his telescope rig. Besides that, I really like your version two, a lot

Okay. I think that I will (tomorrow, probably, as it's almost my bedtime tonight) add some detail and flourishes to the boxes, maybe in Romanesque style (although, wasn't Galileo Greek? Or am I mixing my philosophers/classical scientists/people?) which was much more decorated than the Classic Age of Athens style.

Some advice on how to make the man fit more in with the world? I may just have to remove him from the design entirely and go for something a bit more realistic, even as much as I love him.

He might work on a shirt by himself...

Let me know what you think about him: How I could fix him, what he should look like if I decide to start over, whether or not he should be in a toga (I like the toga, personally), etc.

Also, I think I'm going to add some minor detail to the raindrops to make them look a bit more 3D.

Any further comments before I head back to my artboard (chough) drawing board?

Thanks!
-L

i think what makes him too much of a contrast is he's essentially a simplistic sketch. A loose drawing in a cartoony style. Contrast that to the rest of your image which is made up of basic geometric shapes and very precise and calculated imagery. Cylinders, boxes, shap points agsint your smooth and freehand character. Think about changing one or the other to bring them closer together

make the character more detailed?

yeah i think the platforms can be more exaggerated and less geometric. go all crazy with it and perhaps place more emphasis on the character w/o being overshadowed by the platforms.

gah it's so hard to design a tee.

So, assuming that, if he goes into the door on the front of the tall building, he can come out a door that you can't see on to the platform, and then go into a door on the back of the small building on the platform, through the front door, up the stairs, up the footholds on the side of the building, up the ladder on the back of the next building, up the rope to the platform, across the swinging bridge and up the ladder to the top, he can watch the rain.

I've added a lot of detail, sorry for its taking me so long to get a new version up, there have been other projects in the meantime as well.

The guy, is a new guy, I tried to put a bit of a detail shot in of him. He's a silhouette, but he's not the focal point of the design, so I don't think it's terrible. As a silhouette, he oddly doesn't look as 2D in my opinion.

I think this is closer, but I'm not sure it's finished yet.

Plese, please PLEASE, let me know what you think!

I appreciate any and all feedback!

This is pretty cool mate, I actually kind of liked the little cartoon roman dude but eh thats just me lol. You might want to think about moving the design to the other side so the scope can be ditecting something else on the shirt higher up?

Yes... his placement idea makes a lot of sense. ^^^ I think that platforms/buildings need not all to be square. Like the clock tower is just kind of awkward because it is all by itself away from the rest of it... maybe integrate it more into the other platforms?

I didn't read the comments, and so it took a second for it to click that the one at the top was just a rough idea type deal, and so when I clicked on the link to go to the third version I thought to myself "Holycraphow'ditgofromthattothat?"
Looks cool.

not sure about the cloud, but I like the rest, you could probably shorten the title to "it looks like rain" . We are in a drought and the "oh dear" sentiment doesnt count. A while back a cyclone hit over the other side of the country and people said "lucky bastards" ...lol

way too mechanical looking. It has no style and there is very little harmony between the various elements.

soften the edges

Personally im gonna go with the comments on looking at alternatives for the clouds now. The idea about having it on the bottom left and clouds say mid torso high seems pretty nifty, especially if you extend the horizon line. Thanks for the crit on my design btw

i like the cloud... it's too geometrical for me

too geometrical for me also.

i'm sorry, but this design is revolting. surely it wouldn't be too difficult to find a more original, practical and, well, GOOD concept to focus your time on?

youre not sorry at all hostime...try being constructive or not saying anything at all