This is actually version 2 of this design. I acidently deleted the original critique. I know, I know...



One of the things that has been recommended is that I add a little bit of shading to the wool, so I'm going to be working on that. But anything else you fine folks could think of would be greatly appreciated.



Anyway, any and all input is welcome. Thanks!

nice design all in all, I would consider removing the third sheep completely from the design, the baddy sheep and the poor mofo getting 'shanked' are the main elements of the concept; the third sheep does little to assist it and once removed may free up your composition.

cool i like what you did with the blood but maybe make the stream dripping off his shirt a little thinner, maybe have a drop falling off the knife

check out my "parawhat?" or "i changed my mind" design on my profile page and see if you have any ideas or critiues

I agree the third lamb can be removed, and I'm not really liking the green color for aesthetic reasons but that is just me. This concept is really a great idea though. Keep working on it.



Be sure to check crit my design

Rorschach's Bird and vote on my Soul Jamz Design



Thanks

hahaaaa for some reason they look awesomely cute i think the stabbed one shouldn't be looking at his wound either in pain or dead lol,,, dont think he can me looking at this,, also how bout a whole gang looking too,, maybe just shadows and try kelly green i think is nice, or maybe even baby blue it will act as back ground and involvement also like u add some fences clouds and darker blue for shadows and u get whole lot atmosphere and complete scene? maybe,, hope i helped :)

ouch that's brutal. right in the kidney!

thanks guys, I'll start playing around with your suggestions and see what happens. I pulled the third lamb out and I'm not sure if I'm diggin it. I kinda like having an odd number, but we'll see.



I wasn't sure if the victim should be looking down at his wound or just laying flat on his back. I wanted to add something to the background but I wasn't sure what. I played around with a guard tower and fencing but it just didn't seem to go. I'll play around with a little more.

He should be laying on his back. i'm really looking forward to v.2



Be sure to crit my design

Rorschach's Bird and vote on my Soul Jamz Design



Thanks

hey i updated "i changed my mind" its now named "Mountain Man"

i took your advice on the guy hanging on the cliff an wiped him out

This is actually V3. I deleted V1 by accident.



Any and all comments are welcome.



Thanks

No words. Image conveys the saying. Good concept. Sweet drawing. However everyone is doing these kinds of things.

I think the victim could have more shock on its face. The background works well with the foreground.

There's been some debate as to what to do with the victim. A few folks have suggested just having him laying flat on his back and not propping himself up on this elbow. I'm going to give that a shot but wanted to get some feedback on the current state.



Thanks.

I like him laying like he is.



It's like he is saying "awwwww damn - what the hell?"



Like he can't believe his friend did this to him or something. His expression itself is strangely upsetting.

:D

hah, what a cuddly prison! I think the outline of the victims snout could use a little interaction with the fur meeting it. Love the details of the other inmates in the back. I think that could be a touch darker than it is.



I would appreciate your opinion

Excellent! Stop right here. Very good.

What I like about this (vs. some other sort of "punny" designs that are happening) is we all want to see lambs stabbing one another, regardless of the wordplay. Right? Right. :) very cute & disturbing. Nice background. Maybe bump it to the left juuuust a tiny bit so it's nicely centered between the sleeve seams?

Submit. If you get a chance, http://www.threadless.com/critique/37740/Watch_Your_back#v2 Thanks

awesome

the background works perfectly

check out Mountain Man when you get the time

I have never wanted to just give a murderer a hug because they were so cute! I think it is great. the feet of the victim look a little weird to me but everything is awesome. I personally would like to see the version you have of him laying down on their back but it really does look good.





Check out my WIP and let me know your thoughts.

I PLAY A MEAN GUITAR

Lets get this back up to the top. :) I'd love some more feedback on the current version while I'm working on V3.



Thanks everybody.

i would change placement. for me bullseyeing something just detracts from it.

I already started playing with the positioning and sizing a bit. I liked the placement from V2 better so I'm leaning more in that direction.



thanks, keep 'em coming folks.

omg thats funny! Send it to the Threadless Gods! Good luck!



Critique me please!

haha, awee.

poor guy. he reminds me of lambchops.

maybe add some barbed wire on top of the wall?



heres mine:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/30610/Flight

and what! that is one tough lamb. The shadows make it look like they are on different planes, like the guy on the ground should be more horizontal. after a long time I thought it was odd how he has a thumb on one hand only and the other guy has none. I dont know how you can work around this. put a guard tower in the background with a dog guard. can you take a look at mine?

Made some revisions, tightened up the line work a little and made a few tweaks.



Tried the victim laying flat on his back but felt it looked to "flat" (no pun intended), and it took away from the action of the piece.



Questions, comments, feedback... all much appreciated.

i agree with the above poster- maybe have the hand wrapped around the shank look more like a teddy bear were holding it (like, a vague thumb & no separation of fingers) because of course he would have hooves, but we can be fooled- as long as one of his hands doesn't randomly have fingers- and i don't think you need 'em. otherwise, so great.

sans-fingers, with the exception of a nub of a thumb. He's got to be able to grip the shank yo. :D

nobody?

Funny stuff. Not sure I like the two lambs in the background. For me they are a little distracting. Take them out and it's cool.



http://www.threadless.com/critique/37624/Coolest_swiss_army_knife_ever

i like the background lambs- thanks for changing the hand, way better! One more detail- maybe the puddle of blood under the knife could be less knife-shaped?



Otherwise, put it in. Great work.

Hmm... okay, these are just what came to mind when I saw this. I'm not sure if making any of these changes would help, but it can't hurt to think out loud. :)



i think it's a little weird to have 3 lambs and one bear. (right? is one of those 2 in the background a bear?)



I think you might be able to put some white stripes on the background guys to show that they're prisoners, too.



And maybe have the silhouette of a guard up on the tower with a "!" over his head?



And I think some barbed wire on top of the fence would look good.



The new hand looks much better, and I like where this is going. Good job.



--and if anyone has time, I'd appreciate thoughts on my design.

both of the background guys are supposed to be sheep/lambs. Maybe I should re-draw one of them to make it a little more obvious. I'm hesitant to add any additional detail to them though because I really just want to have the effect that they're in the shadows.



I'll experiment with a guard in the tower, but again, I'm hesitant to add additional detail to something that I really wanted to strip down to the most basic of information.



I do like the idea of some barbed wire though. I'll have a go at that now.



Keep the ideas/thoughts coming folks. They're much appreciated.

Oh, okay, yeah, just make the face on that one more white and have the Y shaped nose/lip thing like the other one and that'll help a lot.



And if you're going for a shadowy look, then, yeah, don't add more detail because it doesn't look bad right now, I was just throwing thoughts out there.

this is a cute idea. i would love to see it be a bit more graphic though. not obscene graphic, but i think a more realistic, stylized blood splatter might juxtapose the cuteness of the lambs and could possibly be hilarious. also, not a fan of the two sheep in the back.





check mine out too!

http://www.threadless.com/critique/36936/By_the_Power_of_Grayscale

very cool. i love the lamb that's standing. the one on the ground has different proportions though that i don't like as much. the crotch area is really big in comparison, and the head and ears aren't as big and fluffy. i'd consider changing some of the blood but maybe i'm being picky. the blood on the ground below the knife could have a different shape (looks like the tip of the knife), and the tip of the knife could have a little highlight too. overall looks great can't wait to see how it turns out.



if you have a minute...

Hmmm, I think the hand is still a little too teddy-bear. Not sure you could work a hoof into the design and still have him hold a shank. He looks like a little bear, so the lamb/shanks pun isn't immediately clear without the title.



I would personally take away all the other lambs except Snuggles McShankbum. Pop the background a little more, and instead of the Shanked McDeadlamb, have just a hoof and a puddle of blood, not the whole corpse. It doesn't really convince me, although Shanked McDeadlamb has a charmingly Lambchop head. The blood is also too much of a bright red glop. I would like it more with just the cutoff legs of Shanked, some darker, thinner red blood, more convincing hand.







Sorry. I'm lame. My critique.

way to not give in to the negative nellies poo pooing your process! I think the shank looks fantastic, bu the blood on the stomach has taken on a three dimensional quality. Kind of like a glob of jello on his stomock. Maybe play with the texture of the fur and the blood together. Perhaps there are places where the blood ran around the fur. It's looking good.



I would appreciate your vote and opinion.

I think it's good. I agree about the lamb in the background and if you had the guard that would be awesome. Other than that I think it's really cute!

OK, barbed wire in, guard in, made some revisions to the tower too, bad guys hoof/hand altered a bit more, blood on ground below knife also adjusted. I made a few minor tweaks to the vic., but I don't think just showing two severed legs is the way to go. if this was a scuffle in the yard there wouldn't exactly be any dismemberment going on, just a quick shank to the gut and your done.



Thoughts, comments, you name it, keep 'em coming.



Thanks everybody.

Awwwww. So cute. So awful.





Like the hand a lot more! It was a subtle change but I liked it a lot.



Sorry I wasn't clear about the vic/legs situation. I thought you might crop it so his top half wasn't showing - so it was off the design. Not that you should cut his legs off and just have those. But I like the way you think?



Love the added barbed wire. That helps. Don't know why.

This is absolutely brilliant. I think you could certainly submit it as is and kick ass, but if you're looking for work, you could do something to the shankers face, make it clear if it's vindictive or defensive. Maybe just a little more angular eyebrows

ps thanks for your critique

also, what do you use to get this kind of style, illustrator? I agree this is better than the hand drawn look, but I don't know where to start making something like this.

I rather like the placid expression on Snuggles McShankylamb.



Thanks for the feedback, dversdzn. I appreciated it v. much.

Neal, this was all done in illustrator, the characters were created with the pencil tool for the main body sections. The rest of their bodies, the wall, tower, guard, shank and sheep in the background were all done with the pen tool. the barbed wire was created in photoshop with a brush and then converted to paths and exported to illustrator.

lots of very nice little changes changes. like the barbed wire a lot. maybe a bit more shadow between the legs for the one on the right, maybe even all shadow. blood on the right seems a little 'thick'. not sure why, maybe the blood trail should be thinned out? sorry these seem picky, i looked at it a while and couldn't come up with much cuz it's pretty darn nice!

This is looking so great! I really can't wait to see this submitted.

love the design. overall i think the background should be a little smaller. i think it detracts from the focal point. other than that, the only thing is the lambs in the background. to me, if you are portraying lambs with human attributes, it may be self-contradictive. or maybe im over thinking. i do that. alot. whatever it is, they dont take away from the design but imo they dont add to it either. nice work

hahaha this is pretty funny

i like it! blood looks a little bright tho lol kinda like ketchup

but its a cute design and i think people will dig it

if u push it into the running, u'll have my vote!



if uve got time, give me a few pointers on my design too

this is very cool!

very well done also, but i would like to see it with colours

colours is an amazing thing and i think it would only improve this piece. give it a try:)



and if you have time, would u mind giving me some alumni pointers? lol http://www.threadless.com/critique/38163/Numazu

please and thank you

Ooh. Much better. Little changes help a lot sometimes. Barbed wire looks great. Tower looks better and no more bearsheep :)



Heh I'm all out of suggestions. Great job.

looking really good, everything is somehow improved. I don't think the guard should be human, I say dog, bc dog's herd sheep. try showing a mussel in profile. how about some blood on the victim's hands. what's going on the back? bloody shank? or the bad guy being dragged away? Cute to Epic at the Speed of Light

you should just have that lamb with the shank enlarged and then just draw chalk for the other one

aww i like it.. =-] submit this



I would appreciate your opinion

I liked the idea of adding a bit of blood to the vics hoof so I did that as well as adding a slight smear. also made some adjustments to the shape of the blood as it runs across his belly and filled the spacing between his legs with shading. Liking that much better.



I think I'd rather keep the guard as a human, kinda like the shepherd looking over his flock, same thought for the two little guys in the background I almost feel they need to be not humanized so that the focus stays on the two main characters.



Anyway, thanks so much everybody for all the comments and ideas. I think I'm going to submit this tonight. If anyone else has any additional ideas/comments/feedback... please don't hold back.



K

lol, nice one!



just use that dark brown color of the left lamb for his left hand also and for the dark parts of the stabbed lamb on the ground. if my monitor is calibrated correctly i can see that these parts are of a pure black. just make that even and sub it!

Ice Scream!

Woops, i meant to say that everything looks great but the blood, it's kind of plaguing me right now but i'm not sure why. Great work though.



Comment and critique my work in my previous post please!

Love this one. thanks for the link. Good ideas seem to compete and come close to each other

this made me lol literally! I think it is ready to be subbed!

hey, dvrsdzn, you think you could take a look at my one with the jetpack and pterodactyl again, I'm looking for some advice on color.

good work. I'd put different placement options on the sub to cater to the different tastes.

i think you need to play with line thickness... the lambs in the background have thick lines around them and the lambs in the front don't.

i like it alot good job

how many colors have are you using?

Thanks for your awesome suggestions on the clockwork horse, btw.



Let me know when you submit, I'll come over and vote.

as shown it's 8 colors, but I'm thinking I'm going to take one of the shades of red out of the blood and knock it down to 7 colors total.

your main lamb seems too happy and caring. I think it is the nose and mouth lines that do it. Shouldn't he be more evil feeling since he just shanked the other lamb?



The placement on the shirt is not my favorite. Perhaps it could go higher putting the tower in the shoulder area and the lambs up near to the chest of the shirt. Maybe.



Nice improvements since your version one. Keep it up.

the highlight on the blood pool feels too thick making the pool seem like it is 2 to 3 inches thick in real life compared to the lamb. It's like a frisbee instead of a thin pool of liquid.

submit!

This is freakin awesome...sub after taking out the orangish shade of blood.



Feel free to critique mine!

http://www.threadless.com/critique/38224/ZombieMan

still at it i see. SUB THIS ALREADY! I WANNA VOTE! hah.







if you gots a moment... Touchy Feely

lol, sick but good. and to think i've been being careful not to be too gruesome with the 'we have 13 year old members' terms info :-)



help me out folks;

http://www.threadless.com/critique/38143/Dawn_Of_The_Egg

version 4 is the one

looks great

submit!

OK, so I've officially knocked it down to 7 colors, replaced the gradient fade out on the wall and fence with a halftone effect and played with the blood on our vic some more.



I also adjusted the sizing a bit and have two placement options (although they're not really that different).



So, what do you fine folks think? I think that if I can get 10-15 "Submit This!" responses then I'll go ahead and throw it up for voting.



Thanks for all your help guys and gals, the design has come a LONG way with the help of your input.

i'm not a fan of grey tees, but otherwise, go for it!

why does one sheep have a white mouth and the other a black one? I think keep them consistent, and make the other ones mouth black too.



looking good tho

Come to think of it, the vic's muzzle might look better in black, but since it's dropped to his chest, it might blend into the black stripes on his shirt too much. oh hell, I should stop talking.



The blood looks much better.



Placement at the bottom of the shirt.



Submit!

I like the placement at the bottom. I think it looks great. Submit. :-)





I would appreciate it if you could critique mine. :-)

haha I like this.

The victim lamb looks a little awkward though, like in the angle he's laying. It makes him look a little bit like he's floating.



Thanks for critiquing mine. =]

Definitely prefer the placement lower on the tee, other than that looks good to go. Submit.

Here's the final. Submitting it now. Thanks everybody for all your suggestions.



K

nice and scary hohohoho good luck in the sub please check out mine

littleking

Just wanted to say thanks for your comments on my critique for Watch Where You Sit, and let you know that it's finally up for running if you'd like to score and comment on it.



Watch Where You Sit



Your final submission looks great I just voted for you

hahahahha...nice..crazy!

I vote for you!





Can you help me, please?

nice !!

well done! i like also the shocked sheep in the background!



http://www.threadless.com/critique/47865/Artbeat