I need help with the composition/ details/ anything else.

i think its a cool idea, and i like the way you did it.



but i think you should make it more intense.



add a woman and a child in the background posing as if they were saying "oh my hero" or "ah were gonna get crushed"



roll with it man

Fun fact: That's me

Added a shadow and some dashed lines to make it more intense.

*cue epic music*

"add a woman and a child in the background posing as if they were saying "oh my hero" or "ah were gonna get crushed""



Congratulations! You have transformed this design from a whimsical "me agains the giant flaming meteor" drawing to an example of institutionalised sexism!



Fun idea. And your revision totally amps up the intensity. =]



I'd look at making it more colorful—the umbrella, for sure, needs to stand out more. I'd refine the human some. (If you need inspiration, I know Ellsswhere has some people in his designs. Some are more stylised than others, but take a look maybe.)

sorry i cant voice my opinion on a design?



i like the lines, connect them and add the same color white as the shirt, then add a smaller zig zag shape and add the color of the flames.



see how it looks, and when you do it move them closer together.

i LOVE the idea.



some things i would change:



more space between the asteroid and the man. maybe have the man further down on the shirt.



i don't get the lines from the 2nd design. I guess i expect something like that on impact not prior.



one more thing...make it bigger!

it's an awesome start.

the lines coming from the man? That's supposed to be a shadow.

I like it, but take out the radiating lines, keep the shadow though.

I think if you added a bit more detail to the meteor it would do wonders and maybe add color to the guy's skin? I love the idea.

i would wear it just as it si right now... anyway, you could make the umbrella more... flashy...



http://www.threadless.com/critique/3292/Till_I_do_us_part

You should definitely add color to the guy's face and the umbrella.

Would the person who clicked don't submit please specify why?

the radiating lines have to go.

Also...I actually liked the Idea of him acting as a hero with other people beind him. It tells more of a story and it would be sickly funny cause they're all going to die anyway.



work on the drawing. everything looks pretty flat and simple.

Ok, so I gave his skin and umbrella more color and I made the perspective of the meteor a little better.

And I just thought up a better name for this: EPIC METEOROLOGY

(bump)

i like the changes. but stick with the original title, it's what caught my attention.

Funny and a really good drawing i would buy it but i dont like the colors that much

i like better the v2 guy, without skin color..... the skin takes all the attention, but i love the idea, and definitly I'd buy it



http://www.threadless.com/critique/3292/Till_I_do_us_part#v8

Better with the color, but not the colors you got right now. It's too blah as far as the color scheme. Needs more contrast, something to make it pop more.



I also like the ide of him being a hero, if you like it, play around with it. You could keep the meteor roughly the same size and make him and those he would be trying to protect smaller.....does that make sense?



Good job, coming along nicely, keep it up.

How bout' a box of kittens behind him?

I hope that these colors are more eye catching/ better. Now, about those kittens..



Give me some suggestions of things he could be protecting. I don't want it to be a family/ people cause I think that it would be a bit morbid.

Or if you like it as just man against the meteor, please let me know. :)

i liked it better without the red-orange tint to it. perhaps he should be protecting something very simple in comparison to the metoer; like a single flower or something like that.

A flower would be weirdly galliant, a car or other expensive possession could be funny too -- but it would also be construed as social commentary.



I like this color scheme much better.

How about the wee man at the bottom left of the shirt, pointing his umbrella at a higher angle? And then have the meteor coming down from the top right corner, with a longer, more elaborate tail behind it.



Great idea, and would be nice to see it done BIG across the shirt - really use the space. You could also make the meteor a little bigger.



Also, I recommend you have a very distinct shadow behind him - less sketchy, and very dark and defined, to really emphasise the strength of the light coming off the meteor.



I would buy this.

"use the space" ha! reminds me of that cowbell sketch from snl.



Anyways, good point.

hmmm i like this allot but i remmeber somebody saying the thing about having people behind him, i think you should

btw : http://www.threadless.com/critique/3515/Becoming_a_Rockstar



visit mine pls

As 13strong suggested, I made the trail longer/ more elaborate to make the design stretch farther along the shirt. I'm still contemplating the puttings of something behind him.

the contrast really help... but im agree with 13 storm, you should make a more dark and deffined shadow...



i love it...

bump.

ha! I really like this. Thin the outline on the comet, maybe eliminate the outline of the darker orange within the tail, and its good to go.

I agree that outline on the tail of the comet is a bit too thick. I also like the idea of him having people to be protecting, but I think this version is a whole lot better than the 1st. Good work.

let me when you submit it....

let me know

when you submit it....

I love this one!

$5!!

subMIT!

I thinned out the outline and made the shadow more solid. I am very conflicted as to what to do with it. What I want it to be is just man against meteor in an epic showdown. On the other hand, it seems like many people want it to be him protecting something with the irony being that it will end in failure. I'm not sure which way I should go.

i think it works fine as is, raise the design up a little and to the left side of the model

I don't think he should be protecting anything - it is much more effective as an individual guy VS a meteor.



But I still think you could use the space better. Move the man to the bottom left of the shirt, make him slightly bigger, and have him holding the umbrella at a higher angle. Then have the meteor a little bigger, with a longer (still) trail, and at the top right of the shirt.



Just a suggestion. Love the concept and your execution of the components though. Well done.

i like it too but theres just too much lack of content. like the skyline of a city bombarded with meteors in the bg would work.. also i would probably add things like broken phone lines, overturned cars, craters to conncet the bg and front....

I don't think it's a good idea to put an object in the shirt that the man would be protecting. The meaning can very greatly depending on what object you put in.



Right now you have a solid design. Adding anything else will detract from it.

I think I'm just gonna keep it focused on the ludicrous action of trying to block a meteor with an umbrella. I want it to be something that would induce a WTF.

I think you need to rework on colors check my blog for it. May be it helps you.

I think you have to rework on your colors. check my blog for it may be it helps you.

Not manny changes, I made the meteor slightly bigger. I think im gonna subit.

go for it i like the idea a lot (people in the backround coulda worked) but i still like this allot



http://www.threadless.com/critique/3515/Becoming_a_Rockstar

Thanks.

i agree. this is solid in itself. submit.



http://www.threadless.com/critique/3456/A_Revealing_Etch_A_Sketch#v2

Maybe they should be closer, the man seems to be too far from the center of the shirt



check mine :)

I agree, I think the man should be a bit closer to the meteor, other than that, I'd say you're good to go!



----------

Please comment on my Math Monster!

the guys details are getting better, but i liked the very first meteor best. also, maybe instead of an umbrella maybe a guy in a suit trying to use his briefcase. just an idea. maybe u could submit them both?

i'm sorry, but the man is orange, please, i love ur idea and would totally wear it but it's just not there yet

very clever idea :)

Much improved from the last version I saw.

it's getting better and better

Resub edition, I want to make sure that it is perfect this time.

Maybe make the meteor farther from the dude?



I dunno. Keep working on it.

Oh, I see someone said the opposite. Wait for smarter people to come!

I like it.



It could use a touch more color, especially with the cityscape.

the cityscape adds alot, but i would either remove or thin the lines on the tail of the meteor, and yeah, move it farther.

I gave the city some lights and moved the meteor back a bit.

bump

.

please make the meteor or whatever it is more CIRCULAR?

and also i'd like to see the buildings with straighter lines, so they are more in the style of the person.

Alright, I'll make the tricycle more circular.

stop confusing me!

Icebar makes many demands. I like how the background differs from the foreground, it makes it seem like it's hazy and further away. I personally am not a fan of the lights, but I'm not sure on other's opinions.

i just think it's a little messy... i don't like how one is lopsided.

then again i do have a touch of OCD... :)

i like v9 without too many city lights, maybe just take some out, especially the bolder ones on the left side, and then it will be good to go.

Man 's getting smaller with every version, isn't he? It'd be a pity if his expression is missed.

The presentation will be like version 7. And you would be able to see it on the shirt.

I don't like the clouds -- they don't have the same quality as the rest of the design.

Well, you don't have to sammich the meteor precisely between the two clouds, so you look like you have a triboob when you're wearing it.



Mix it up a little. Maybe slightly smaller clouds.

pft. everyone loves tri-boobs. =P i like the3 design but i just feel something isnt quite right. cant put my finger on it.

Looks great. You're never going to please everyone, time to submit it! :)

I liked it more without the city, but each to their own. The umbrella needs a different colour because it's really the focus, isn't it?



The clouds are distracting.

So, I added more variation in the clouds, I made the buldings more straight and lessened the lights.

Different colour umbrella, lose the clouds. They are distracting and unnecessary.



I vote lose the city, too - it'd be more printable.



If you must keep the city and clouds, make the clouds thinner and far less prominent. Also work on the city detail.

i don't know how it would look otherwise, but the shadow on the meteor seems to be on the wrong side... it should be towards the ground, not near the fire.

Yeah, I tried switching it around, it just doesn't look very good.

This is really cool. And it's fun to watch it progress..

Ive shrunken the city a little bit and gave it slightly more detail. Icebar, I think you are right about the shaddow, but I tried fliping it around and it just didn't look good.

I don't know but I sort of dislike the clouds, a possible idea could be to have the dude standing on a tiny earth, and throw in some background planets and stars. Meh it's pretty cool though.

don't like the clouds.

again, the non-circular shape of the meteor annoys me!

and take away the little random dot on the meteor. even out the craters.

More circular

thanks i think that makes it better!

scrolling down it almost looks like animation. looks good, nice concept.

the clouds look a bit off though. Maybe not so much uneven black and add white highlights.

I think that I'm going to take this in a more abstract and ambiguous direction. Hope you like!!!

well we all know 13 is unlucky

Changed my mind, not too many changes, I made the cloud on the left a bit smaller, I want to submit this one.

i think you should lose the city and clouds, maybe make the meteor less circular.

Also think about losing the meteor altogether and just having a gray shirt with the umbrella man on it.. only lose the man







that would be AWESOME

just submit it. its great

It is an honor just to look at it. It is amazing! I really like the progress from the beginning! Do you think there is any way you could look at mine? Alone Thanks. I really like this shirt and am buying it if it gets printed! :D

v10 through 14, minus 13, are all the same?

@Blame: Kinda.

add more shadows in the holes of the meteor maybe?

Flick through them, they're not really.

Submit already. You've reached the point where people will just tell you contradicting things, and you'll keep changing your mind, and it will never look right to you.



Submit, and be pleasantly surprised by the response.

I have to say that the background COMPLETELY throws me off. I liked it much better without the cityscape.



I think you should add shade lines to the meteor, making it a bit rounder, rockier, and rougher. And take out the background.

I dunno... Heres a quick drawing of how I'd do the meteor.



http://img157.imageshack.us/my.php?image=img7447ze8.jpg

I prefer version 1

no clouds? i just don't think fluffy clouds go with this scene.

also the skyline... that black line you have... it's off center...

Hope that this is a little less off center. I made the clouds a very litle bit smaller but I would like to keep them. I really feel like I want to submit this one and am waiting for the right time.

its a great design and at this point i think its pretty much ready to be subbed. the only thing i would say, and its pretty trivial and wont effect how i would vote on this if you subbed it anyway, is that the top of the umbrella should be brighter than the bottom because of the way the lighting is coming from the rock. if the guy's shadow goes in that direction the light on the umbrella should match.

so yeah, just a minor thing and honestly id give you a good vote on it whether you addressed it or not.

Add some shading maybe?

Just a suggestion, hope is help :)

Im with flyingmouse, maybe even canning the skyline alltogether like it used to be, theres enough depth to the design with the shading.

I really preferred anyone of version 4-7. The cityscape makes it too busy for me. Good design though and if there are enough happy people out there go submit.

I gave him some shading. And an extra special thanks to flyingmouse and Chrisoph Jenkins for taking the time to acctually draw a reference for me.



It seems as though alot of people don't like the little extra things in the skyline. I will either take out the clouds or the buildings but I will ultimately leave one because it seemed as though half of the people in the design forum wanted something in the background.



Thanks again.

which one should I get rid of

Why would the shadow appear at the back of the meteor?? - there's a bloody great flame coming out of it!

My problem with this design is that it's too sketchy...

It's not a shadow, it's charred!

but it looks wrong as is!

Good point J-Ray.

it's not a case of just flipping the meteor - you'd need to completely redraw it/shade it

i'm only trying to help!

I didn't literally flip it.

Sorry, I didn't read your most recent comment.

Sooo.... Which one should I get rid of?

the clouds or the city?...

see i'm thinking of this being worn on a tee shirt,

and i also don't like how it's so sketchy.

the guy's arms and other things (like the clouds) are not smooth.

i'd want them to be nicer if they were on a shirt.

psst get rid of the clouds!

and maybe re-do the city somehow.

wow this design is getting a lot of hype

Get rid of the clouds, but his head should not line up exactly with the end building. It makes the design more static.



I would also make the building lights the color of the meteor to balance the design more.

Um, the building lights are the color of the meteor.

youre not resubmitting right?

please say no

i liked the subbed one much more, plus it got a good score

i don't know.

Clouds.



(Like I said before. Though I'm not saying I told you so...)

i think the building lights should be yellow.

who cares if you resub this, it can't hurt to try.

I LOVE THIS DESIGN DUDE!

But one thing...

I liked it better without the city and the clouds, it just looked a lot more epic and awesome!

but otherwise

you get a $5!!!

dude this is perfect



people are just being too picky now.

The clouds and city give it dimension.



Submit it, and even if it doesn't score as well as the original one (which I can't imagine why not), i'll pay for you to make one for me.

Never mind, this looks shitty with small clouds. I'll let you see what it looks like without them.

WITHOUT CLOUDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I don't know why that was so hard for me to do.

this is great :)

awesome

sorry but i hate it still, i think the idea isn't that strong and doesn't have a hope of being printed and im not crazy about the way it is drawn - especially the fire and the uneven ground, anyways, maybe try a new design and just submit this one and move on

it's good, i like it!

ok try it without the lines on the sides of the city.

because when i cover them up it looks better.

@cantstopsmilin21-





I hope I prove you wrong.

i cantstopfrownin at that comment..

kinda nice... maybe some of the ground would be orange, but it might ruin the comopsition

Yeah, it does look alot nicer without the clouds... Maybe the cityscape would look better without the lines coming off from the sides of it. Maybe.

I like V1 best