the lightning bolt is optional, really, but it looked empty with nothing there.



this is on sand and brown. it also works on dark gray, gold and maybe red.



so what should I work on here?

maybe add the tongues of the snakes and the design can be more intense afterwards

pls critique mine

my money is on the brown one. So how does the mongoose charm work? nice rendering. I think the fangs are too much.

thanks! you're right, dave, the fangs are too much, now that I look at it. I'll make them smaller, I think, and maybe add the snake tongues

ok, toned down the fangs.

wow - amazing illustration



the snakes are particularly sharp



I am not sure about the yellow

maybe tone it down closer to the shirt color so it does not control the composition - cause right now i would say it battles the illustration a bit

Anything with mongooses is top class. Good work squire.

I agree with isaboa about the yellow...it distracts a bit from the beautiful illustration....perhaps if it were more curvy, sinuous?



Could you critique mine? It's called "O, Bombus"

Great concept and execution! I agree with the above! The lightning shape is a bit too heavy and at the moment gets the main focus. Someone above also mentioned adding tounges and I was thinking about the same thing. Tounges could brake up the brown in the middle and give a little bit more focus onto the snakes. Just some suggestions and it looks fine the way it is. I like your work and I think 'Things in the Woods' should have scored better! :)

great job, that must have taken forever!

i really like the coloring of the snakes.

I dont really like the lightning bolt in the background though.



critique mine plz:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/24569/THE_COLORS_OF_POVERTY

thanks for the help, everyone!



I changed the color of lightning bolt and made it more curvy as well. also I put in the snake tongues and changed the color of the mongeese a little.

Hi i like the second version the most, the gold color make the tee-shirt stand out! It's a very nice illustration!

thanks! yeah maybe I toned the color down too much. also I can't decide whether the tongues look silly or not.

boy I see version 3 as being damn awesome - colors have such depth now - and the tongues look appropriate -



IMHO

Yes, I think that is it. Looks beautiful! I like it with the tongues but it works also without and you can leave them if you don't feel them fit.

i think the last version is best. the only problem i have is that it is a little too dark, but that might be my screen as well :)



I would say submit it, but maybe use the flash not just for one page, but one for the placement shirt and one for a close up

It looks good on my screen. I can see all the little details.

thanks! yeah I think I will submit this version, I was actually just trying to decide wether to have more than one flash page or not. I was leaning towards just one page, since I can fit the placement and the design together as is, but we'll see, I'll play around with it.



thanks for the help, everyone!



c kid, I thought things in the woods scored pretty well! but glad you liked it!

I think this is really gorgeous! Push this into the running!

nooo way on broooown forgettt

tru another color!!

http://www.threadless.com/critique/24722/surreal_is_real

crit mine

it's up, go check it out!