Hey Guys, hope you like this new design. I once created it just for practice as a cd cover to Jack Johnson's song "Flake". The design is influenced by many parts of the lyrics. I made a design out of what I felt abot the song...

I know that I will have to reduce the colors.



What do you think about it?

Hmm I think the image could be powerful without the Gone, and maybe make traffic flow in the same direction as the people to make it look like everyone is rushing to leave



Critique mine please

good idea, i already thought that it would be better with the "gone" gone ^

C'mon guys, give me your opinions!

now without the text "Gone"!



Whats your opinion?

i like the design placement. the cross walk is a nice element as it keeps the eye moving around the picture. the blue sky looks nice against the grey buildings.

It's gonna be very very hard to reduce it to 8 colors... is there any other possibility? would simulated process look bad?

This seems like it would work much better as a comic or like you originally did it for a cd cover. I like that you made a design from the lyrics of a song instead of just doing some random drawing. Oh and you could reduce all of the gray shades using black halftones then it would definitely be under 8 colors.

nice image, submit.

I actually like the "gone", I think if it was treated a little differently. What is the meaning behind "gone"/

Thanks for all the Feedback to this point!

@slef: you like the gone, but would like it better differently? How would you like it? please tell me!



I think you get the meaning if you read Jack Johnsons songtext:



Look at all those fancy clothes,

But these could keep us warm just like those.

And what about your soul? Is it cold?

Is it straight from the mold, and ready to be sold?



And cars and phones and diamond rings,

Bling, bling, because those are only removable things.

And what about your mind? Does it shine?

Are there things that concern you, more than your time?



Gone, going.

Gone, everything.

Gone, don’t give a damn.

Gone, be the birds, when they don’t wanna sing.

Gone, people, all awkward with their things,

Gone.



Look at you, out to make a deal.

You try to be appealing, but you lose your appeal.

And what about those shoes you’re in today?

They’ll do no good, on the bridges you burnt along the way.



And you're willing to sell, anything?

Gone, with your head.

Leave your footprints,

And we’ll shame them with our words.

Gone, people, all careless and consumed, gone



Gone, gone, gone, everything.

Gone, don’t give a damn.

Gone, be the birds, when they don’t wanna sing.

Gone, people, all awkward with their things, Gone.



___



Now you should understand the design better and what i felt for the song!

oh i just copy the songtext and recognized that there are mistakes... too late! I think you can summarize it to ignorance. And that is the central point of my design!

I think the words looked nice behind the city . . .

Maybe there should be clouds in the sky?

(Or are they "gone" too?)

Overall I do like your picture . . .

Really really nice... submit it - NO DOUBTS!!!



See ours, we'd appreciate some critiques. http://www.threadless.com/critique/23561/Cloudies

http://www.threadless.com/critique/23510/The_Chase#v3

Thanks for the clarification. Now that I see the lyrics, perhaps more words than just "gone".



"Gone,going. Gone everything."

At this time 3 guys like it, 3 guys don't! What to do? :-)

c'mon guys tell me your opinion! I think I'll try to submit, because I don't see any improvements i could make...

Sub it. I think it's ready.

the composition and even color scheme are pretty good, but the ink is too heavy on the tee as is, and could use some more breaks with the shirt color showing through to soften the whole thing. The art style could use a bit more polish as well...feels very rough, in an unfinished way.

it's kind of an awkward illustration to begin with. the people look about as tall as the buildings.





I don't think you need the text to get your point across. The way I understand your concept is that someone is leaving on the airplane. if you really wanted the concept to stand out, move the airplane up and right, and add some embroidery in the trail behind the plane or something.



I would say this is a cluttered illustration, and it would help if you removed some things to make it a little more appealing to the eye.

Alright, here's a new version of it, I wanted to make clear what it's all about! Thanks for all the comments so far...

Someone that the ink will be too heavy... There must be a solution, right?!



Happy Criticism!

looks like its way more than 8 colors.. try making it a line drawing.. no colors.. i dont really get the text.. but i would draw that out by hand instead..

the text is part of the lyrics of Jack Johnsons song "Gone" about which i made the drawing...

If i use half-tones of black or grey i'll get to 8 colors...

go for it

shall i submit? i tried out how it looks without colors.... : terrible!

i think i'll submit, see no chance to make it better!

different opinion? tell me!

either those cars are huge or the buildings are small, but i'm not complaining.



are there any rules concerning the use of other's work into your own without legal permission? i'm speaking of the lyrics. if the legal issues stretch to cover that then you could always omit them.

i thought about that, but think it isn't a problem... they are just words aren't they? and i just use such a little part that they could be my one

Please score:

http://www.threadless.com/submission/167404/Angel#lastcomment



Thank you mate.

I will put this into the running!

It's kinda hard to read the yellow text and the people look more like they are standing there than walking (both feet flat on ground). I like the concept, but it needs some work.

i like the idea and the layout but it think the art needs to be tightened up or mad in a different style. What are you thoughts on mine

http://www.threadless.com/critique/23727/spread_love_not_war

yeah i agree, maybe the print is too huge, can try to make it smaller :)

http://www.threadless.com/critique/23517/Midnight_Supper#lastcomment

i also like the idea but the print is massive

solution for heavy ink- make most of the greys the color of the tshirt

I agree with bobobob1230 and phuel about the yellow text.



If you can rip yourself away from revisions then take a look at mine please.



Flying Disk

Definitely needs more work. I also can’t reed yellow text and u can work little bit more on the car in front, but overall I like it.