This is attempt number two

full view: http://img230.imageshack.us/my.php?image=trytwopo9.jpg

I would like to see the bottom (maybe 1/3 of it) still encased in a block of granite, waiting to be carved out. It would give it more of a "work in progress" feel.

cool idea. thanks much

moar?

??????

lame

the crane that holding the pen is weird...

maybe give more detail to the peoples...



MUrDer DoLL

I can see what you mean about the crane, but I want the people to stay simple

im still gonna say it needs moar stuff happening, i like the new background though

LIKE WHAT

More details in this presentation version

thanks pagey

you are very welcome

bump it real good

otra vez

i like the idea but don't know how it would look on a shirt. i'll be back for v3

Put it on a shirt to present.

basic placement or bottom... I'll post both tomorrow

wawawiwa

cool

bottom and a bit of wrap around would be cool

o btw i think theres only one f in SERIF

i think you may be right

clever! I would maybe try to add a little more depth. I'd like to see it on the shirt as well.



any comments for mine?

Jazz

lol sup fellow typography nerd!



is that bodoni in the back? my ONLY suggestion now is....maybe Mrs. Eaves? just cuz thats my favorite serif typeface lol



and for some reason i picture this looking nice on a white t-shirt. but the printed colors still the same. anywho....



hey mind taking a look at my works-in-progress? any comments appreciated ;p



1. LOLYENA!

2. COOL AS A...

nice... I like it as is

This is looking alot better still doesnt quite look like a factory.

shakethesheets winz

And it's not a factory

Very cool idea

I like it, although it could use a little more detail.



Mostly, however, am I the only one that noticed that 'serif' is spelled wrong?

Haha, nevermind. Someone else already pointed that out.

hey, thanks!

try posting it like this! with the panels of closeups and all

kool idea.. lets see it on a shirt

con placement

yes sir

hooray mysterious "submit it"-ers

guess who

which box did you check

honeybunches?

whos the dont submiter

moar?

it's pretty cool man, a good idea. I might make the type look a bit more sculptural, and add a 3-d quality to it.

I like the very basic concept--little people making type--but it would connect better with the sentimental typographers if they were working in a giant type foundry, casting a huge leaden 'h' as it was actually done in the olden days.



I would eliminate the greyed out truck in the background. It doesn't add much more to the concept and distracts visually.

THIS COMMENT is a placeholder for xiv's comment which he put on my blog. he is #3

to be honest, I really like how it looks on the shirt. I know there are some problems that keep it from being worthy of the veterans, but I've worked really hard on this- harder than any other sub. For this reason I'd appreciate all honest crtitiques

There isnt much more I can do without starting all over

this is really cool. :)

how about a chunk of "font material" uncarved on the left side of the right serif, and a worker with an eraser tool approaching it

thank you much, cow

i don't think anything else should be added. I like it like this.

I love it!!!

Please critique mine:

http://www.threadless.com/critique/22547/Bombs_Away

i dont trust anyone when they say they love it if they follow it up with a link

There's only one thing i can think that would really make sense and thats the

" chunk of "font material" uncarved on the left side of the right serif, and a worker with an eraser tool approaching it"

idea

http://www.threadless.com/?streetteam=Hi+Beardy

just a little more advice prease i wanna sub this week

...

last bump

needs moar factory!

i like this alot! maybe if the h looked more under construction, with beams and whatever around it.



check mine out? http://www.threadless.com/critique/22602/a_robot

hmmmm.... beams, eh?

so no to the eraser tool idea?

i quite dislike the crit system on this site. maybe i'll just sub it...

I think it's nice. I agree that the silhouette trucks in the background are distracting and don't do anything. I wonder also whether it wouldn't be better on a different colour which contrasted more strongly with the 'h'.

Go for it! Looks awesome!

do you like it more with depth?

im gonna take that as a no and try to sub it how it was

yes?

I like it not 3d

i figured since type isn't 3d...

back to v3?

yes?

yes lol. nice design!

critique mine?

http://www.threadless.com/critique/22624/Offer_Your_Affections

alright then.......

who needs dimensions

where's the dood who suggested 3d anyway?

hey pagel Eddie stpd me and it worked for HIM! i think yous justa liar!

oh, ok





is eddie and stp klutz?

and=an

no

no= hell no!

what?

ok one more idea: what about the squares from pen tool handles all over the H to show it's under construction

lame

i like. `_'

so basically depth or no depth???

the critique system here is so broken...

I think V3 is ready to submit. I wouldn't try pen handles since non-designers may not understand, but it's up to you.