Submission for the Old Fashioned Fun Competition. What do you guys think?

Common folks. What do you guys think its missing? Perhaps add something else. A boot? Dunno what do you think?

mm el kolor de la playera? kreo k se veria bien en negro , el diseño esta excelente=)

maybe make the hands farther away

you can't use the stooges for models. just thought you should know

Maybe it would be better if you made it more like a fight between 2 persons. Now you have one hand, always dressed the same so clearly belonging to the same person, while it does look that there is some interaction because the eye poke guard is protecting from the eye poke. I don't know if I am making myself clear here?

And the image itself is a bit boring maybe. Try putting some more movement in it, maybe drawing it yourself instead of using photographs, I don't know... and get rid of the baby blue? Maybe brown would do better...try some other combinations and you'll get there!

Needs work, but it's a good idea to start with so: Good luck!

And I hope you'll get some comments from others too!

Thanks I appreciate the comments. :)

I think it's hard to 'read' as it is. in terms of composition of objects, they are nicely arranged, but it it hard to unscramble in a few seconds.

For a start - the you might want to change the colour of the cuffs from the eye-poking hand to the eye-poke defence hand to show that they belong to different people.

Perhaps scrap the left handed slap and add a 'Backhander' and perhaps a variation on the punch - like 'rabbit punch' or a 'horsebit' knuckle pinch.

Make the concept more a 'Slap-stick Guide To Self Defence' and give the arrangement more order - like 2 columns, with the eye-poke sharing two columns at the bottom? Just some food for thought! I love the idea though and love the style you've gone for.

*'horsebite'

That may or may be something exclusive to me and my siblings. My heavily bruised siblings.

Awesome feedback Aled! Thanks a bunch. I like the idea. Cool cool!

No prob, Sam :)

Ok so this is STILL A WIP. I'm gonna add different hands. Perhaps play a bit more with the shirt of each character. But its more or less the overall picture. Do you guys think it works better? Should I keep the text?

woo wooo woo woo woo wooo *slaps face* nyuk nyuk nyuk
my curly impression

Heheh Thanks!

I honestly would like to see line art, which you do superbly, of the hands, giving it a vintage advertisement feel, like clip art but not clip art. Also with hand done writing and dotted lines, etc.

Go vintage!

100% in agreement with robsoul

http://www.threadless.com/critique/16742/Way_to_go

line art.. yess


www.threadless.com/submission/160459/Square_Cow

Yea line art might be a good choice. Gonna work on the update today. :)

Ok lineart! Yeah. :)

this does not cure my boredom.

but i like it

This is the best of the three.

Without a doubt, the best of the three. Submit!

definitely the best.. cool concept, for sure.

the first one was the clearest in my opinion

Ok, now with legend.
I think its a go.

I'm tempted to push it! hhahahahaa one last feedback and its done deal. What do you think?

This is great, sub it as it is; also great work with your presentation.

Oh I was wondering why I don't understand this shirt at all. I have a bajingo.

sub it, it's gold

Thanks! Its in.

Lol at the bajingo comment. It works good on pink for the ladies!

Pink like a bajingo. Sweet.

ya esta papa,subilo q esta re bien

awesome!!!!! submit!! =)

Dig it.