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Zups on Feb 22 '08
Hey everyone! Sooo my shirt got declined :( I was wondering if you could give me some feed back on what I should do to fix it up. Any and all help would be appreciated!
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Lost dog on Feb 22 '08
I'd maybe make the bird a little bigger, so you can tell more that it's a bird. It's a nice design, but maybe a little too simple, try adding some colour or something.
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Zups on Feb 23 '08
Heres a new version of "White Bird" Let me know what you think...
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Heddam on Feb 23 '08
i think it would improve whitout the "frosty" effects.. and maybe try it on another colour?
if you got time, would you comment mine? http://www.threadless.com/critique/15113/No_I_m_sofisticated_now |
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EricDiaz on Feb 23 '08
i agree with heddam the frosty effect doesnt look as good as V1.. also the design is a bit too big.. also i dont like the lamp looking shape above the birds body.. i would add something like a mouse or something maybe even on the back or side.. like the bird is swooping down to catch it.. try some different colors too.
mine is up for voting! http://www.threadless.com/submission/152430/READ_A_BOOK |
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Zups on Feb 23 '08
Thanks for the input! I will comment on both of your tees and for sure vote on yours Eric
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Zups on Feb 23 '08
New colors, slightly new design and concept. Let me know what ya think!
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Karebear010 on Feb 23 '08
all three objects are a little too different. i'd keep just the mouse if you have to have it, but get rid of cat. and also change the mouse to be same style of the bird. honestly, i like it as just the bird, like you had it in v2, but less "frosty"
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Zups on Feb 23 '08
Thanks for the input!
so keep the bird in the same style i have it now, ditch the other 2? |
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ArtX on Feb 23 '08
I totally agree with karebear. I like your bird alot, but the other characters are a lil out of place. I agree, V2 w/o the "frost" would be best.
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Zups on Feb 23 '08
Check this one out let me know what you think. I put other color shirts with the design on it, the bird changes tint slightly with different colors.
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xtraelf on Feb 23 '08
Will that color change happen in actual ink on a tee, or be lost? It works here and would be neat.
To the tee artists in general, if using Photoshop and anyone doesn't like when that happens... just duplicate your layer as many times as needed and merge them down until it's solid. Don't know why PS does that but this is a quick way to make your graphic (and text) denser. |
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Zups on Feb 23 '08
not really sure if it would happen on the actual ink on tee. Do you like the design tho?
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gotta lose the drop shadow
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the version three had a lot of promise. if i were you i would go with that concept and hand draw each element to keep it consistent. then scan it into photoshop at a high resolution and then take it into illustrator.
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Zups on Feb 23 '08
maybe change the bird and make it a totally different shirt idea
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just trying to help
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Zups on Feb 23 '08
for sure, thanks for the input. I will with out a doubt fix it up and submit it as a new shirt
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xtraelf on Feb 23 '08
Well, I'll take the other side and say losing the drop shadow will make it go completely flat. It makes the bird look airborne. The question would be how well it would print. It's not a bad design really, but for me it somehow lacks pep. I don't know what to tell ya. I can see it in my closet for some reason... and see folks buying it, but probably not at the rate that would get it chosen.
And just to be more contrary... I thought the mouse being stalked by both at once was funny as h*ll. (Though too mish-mash in style). It could still be a great shirt... hmmm. Especially, if the eagle and cat were stretched shadows looming up to the mouse so you didn't actually see them. (Maybe approaching from different sides with him stuck in the middle). LOL... everybody has been there. Please think about keeping that idea on tap for another day. Or not... it's yer design, after all. |
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jpoore on Feb 23 '08
i like it, there have been some similar designs, but i think that you should get rid of the shadow, don't really need it
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Zups on Feb 23 '08
thanks for the input, i will put up the shirt sans the drop shadow.
Xtraelf, i will most definitely not pitch that idea... after i figure this design out i will work on that as well as my avoid the clap design. |
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Zups on Feb 23 '08
Here is the design without the shadow
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Crusiux on Feb 24 '08
I like this one Best!
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Zups on Feb 24 '08
awesome please keep comments coming! I really wanna get this perfect before i submit it so any suggestions would help!
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Crusiux on Feb 24 '08
Do you just hand draw the image?
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Zups on Feb 24 '08
its actually off of a photograph i took of a birds nest a while back that i edited and manipulated. there was a piece of plastic in the nest and i made this figure from the plastic. i liked it so much that i decided to get a tattoo of the bird figure. if you notice the top of the bird looks as if they are sort of roots. the meaning that i carry with it is that like a bird you have to be free and do what you need to do to get to where you want to be, and the roots mean that in order to ultimately get there you have to know where you come from and that you have to remember what you have gone through.
More than you probably care to know but yeah thats where it came from... heres the edited picture... http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b139/zups/awesomebirdsnest-roots.jpg |
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Crusiux on Feb 24 '08
Wow That is nice! Hop it get approved I would buy it!
(makes me wanna take mine out of critique) I'm am new to this place and I am experimenting still. any ways, -Good luck! |
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Zups on Feb 24 '08
thanks yeah im new to submitting to threadless too, dont take it out of crit. send me a link to yours ill take a look at it!
im glad you like it, i really hope i can get it to where i feel it would be accepted! |
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Crusiux on Feb 24 '08
http://www.threadless.com/critique/15819/New_Flight
cheesy and plain. But hey thats why I put it in critique. |
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Zups on Feb 24 '08
anyone else got any ideas?
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Zups on Feb 24 '08
bump... Please comment and help me out! any more advice?
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rAmpantDesigns on Feb 24 '08
a different placement pls. I'd like to see it on the left lower side, with the whispies floating up toward the opposite sleeve.
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Zups on Feb 24 '08
see version 2 let me know what you think of that
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rAmpantDesigns on Feb 24 '08
v2 def without the speedlines and less hard. Take the cloudy dreamlike quality of this on and put it on version two and you got it
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rAmpantDesigns on Feb 24 '08
*this one
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Zups on Feb 24 '08
New version!
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Zups on Feb 24 '08
bump... please help me out and comment on this!!!! and leave me a link to yours so i can return the favor!!
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Crusiux on Feb 24 '08
OOO I think this one is better... I like the cloud effect.
Like it best on black. Heres my new one: http://www.threadless.com/critique/15868/Take_your_Cross |
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willhunt on Feb 25 '08
the squigz are getting a bit out of control figure out if you want them to integrate in an interesting way i think they are starting to look like tree branches which is good, but still... needs something more. keep it up!
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Zups on Feb 25 '08
what if i were to put silhouettes of other birds flying off the branches of the main bird?
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isaacdealey on Feb 25 '08
I liked v5 the best of these -- I'm not absolutely certain but I think the blurs have to be either "simulated process" (which I believe is new to Threadless, but then so am I) :) or need to be half-toned. I try to make most of my work flat colors minus the occasional half-tone for a shadow if I'm running out of colors, so I haven't really looked into the info about simulated process too deeply. Anyway imo this one is a little too busy -- I think v5 is "just the perfect amount of cow bell". :)
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Design by Lars on Feb 25 '08
Somewhere in between V1,V2 or V5. My advice is to keep it simple and don't overwork it. Love your photo... good luck!
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Zups on Feb 25 '08
thanks ill work on a more simplified version of this and put it up! keep the comments coming!
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Bio-bot 9000 on Feb 25 '08
i like the smoky cloudy look. something along the lines of v5 or v6. maybe it could be coming out of a pipe, or the tip of a burning branch? or maybe placed above a horizon so that it's in the sky but looks like it's interacting with something.
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Zups on Feb 25 '08
heres a slightly simpler version. i just took out a few of the lines that were not really needed.
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Zups on Feb 25 '08
bump, so what do you guys think of this version?
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Maltzmania on Feb 25 '08
stop the spam please :D
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deljani on Feb 25 '08
Mate that's the worst thing I've seen in a long time.
It looks like you were attempting to seal the side of your bath with silicon but suddenly suffered a violent full-body seizure, thereby tightening your grip on the silicon gun and uncontrollably spreading silicon over your upper body as you convulsed on the bathroom floor. An horrific and life-changing experience I'm sure, but not one to share with the good people of threadless. Of course I can't speak for everyone, but let them come and offer their own words of advice... instead of bitter words from a man who actually went through a similar experience in real life, and is only now coming to terms with his fear of entering a bathroom. |
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Zups on Feb 25 '08
maltzmania come back when you design something worth even critiquing and deljani come back when you actually design something.
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Maltzmania on Feb 25 '08
I'm just asking nicely not to post your links on the designs up for scoring
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Maltzmania on Feb 25 '08
I meant no harm by it.
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Maltzmania on Feb 25 '08
But thanks for the pot shot
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Zups on Feb 25 '08
yeah, but honestly thats the only way to get any feedback from people. so im sorry but its not like a small link on a post is all that annoying.
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Maltzmania on Feb 25 '08
it wouldn't be if you were the only one doing it...try making a regular blog and post it in the forum?
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haitiantrackstar on Feb 25 '08
I think the brush strokes should be more defined and not blurred as you have them now. More detail on the bird.
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theurbanraptor on Feb 25 '08
this is stupid.
and you are annoying the crap out of everyone. |
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deljani on Feb 25 '08
You're a graphic design student! I didn't know Dominican University was a school for the blind. Good on you son, you keep trying.
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Phiffer on Feb 25 '08
So this is the guy spamming everyone
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Zups on Feb 25 '08
if its that big of a deal to put a link on a post then fucking ill stop. fucking hell
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Zups on Feb 25 '08
so back to the purpose of this site and the critique any constructive advice for the design.
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BuzzFledderjohn on Feb 25 '08
Everything is blurry. I would say lessen the amount of smudging on this, because its pretty hard to tell what it is.
Maybe add some kind of detailing? |
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Artizfun on Feb 25 '08
I think I like version 5 the best, maybe a little bigger.
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pfg84 on Feb 25 '08
I think some detail to bring out the bird, feathers maybe, keep it subtle.....Oh and some colour combos changing the colour of the bird rather than the shirt or both!!
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Zups on Feb 25 '08
more simplified, less blur... let me know what ya think
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JClappa on Feb 25 '08
beautiful design, definitely submit!
return the fav http://www.threadless.com/critique/15510/Oops_Wrong_Trick |
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Zups on Feb 25 '08
submitted it as it is in version 8. so please keep a look out and vote on it!!
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Maltzmania on Feb 25 '08
good luck
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madruga on Feb 26 '08
DAMN!!! STOP SPAMMING!!!
THAT'S FUCKING ANNOYING!!! |
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