Still planning on coloring this, but probably just with 2 tones, adding shadows.

this is lookin nice man--my suggestion would be to perhaps make the foreground plane a little larger in the composition. i think the forced perspective would give it more visual oomph. and yeah, definitely yes on the color!

A slight update

I think it would work better if you could see the top of the mobile too. And I think it needs more colour.

;)

I'm putting this on the lightbox now, and coloring with crayons, to try and make it even more child like.

Also, I still need a name, all I can think of is
Operation somethingsomething

Whoa! Great concept! lol :D

Really nicely drawn too. The clouds make perfect sense, sky blue shirt, can't wait to see the colors. I like the hit plane's cord jerking up, maybe the shooting jet is smoother on the string, like gliding in. You could probably add Mr. Sun or Mr. Moon, or Mr. Star in place of one of the clouds just for variety. Maybe you can do a night mission on a navy tee. I'm still laughing as I'm writing this.

I'm not sure about crayons, these mobiles are usually silk screened on sanded wood. Although nowadays they're using plush.

I'll try and think of some names. Cheers!

How about "mobile warfare"?

I like, made me laugh.

nice!

Thanks Quister, making those changes now.
The crayons didn't really work as they had too much of a texture to look good when limited to one flat color using a vector trace.

wicked idea... but i think that the mobil is a little too bulky, maybe reduce it in size so that the emphasis is on whats hanging from it more...

http://www.threadless.com/critique/13564/Paper_T

I think I will try redrawing the clouds so they look like there made of plush, as I think that could help the juxtaposition of cute and violence.

The new top looks great.
Plush is certainly the polar opposite, not to mention the alluded to but not seen, babes in cribs. . Take care though, you walk a fine line between a humorous point of view and political one. You can always fall back on two plush planes doing battle if you start taking flak. :P

new top is definitely an improvement... personally I think the clouds are fine - I kinda liked the explosion from v3.

Only thing I think I might tweak personally at this point is the vapor trail from the missile. I can see conceptually how I might draw it, but it's hard to explain in text, 'cause it's a visual thing... but I'll try... :) I imagine sort of a chain of small cloud-like objects overlapping each other and getting progressively smaller until they blend together closer to the target. The idea is to make the vapor trail appear more 3-dimensional.

Generally speaking though great job. I think it's pretty close to ready if not ready to submit. :)

Ive tried a different style for the clouds, i'm not sure which is better.

I think the wooden ones were more recognizable because they had an outlined border.. Maybe these need a blue contoured border to better define them as clouds. They do emphasize the softness/cuteness more and that adds more contrast to the fighter plane.

Again, great concept, great drawing, can't wait to see how it progresses.

Put some red on one of the planes. Red is great on planes, the military hasn't figured that one out.

-Buster

Yeah, the other issue I see is I think they attract too much attention, and look larger then the thin clouds.

I like the edges of the wooden ones as well. They're more in synch with the edges/depth of the plane even if they're rounded. I think colors might be a challenge. White clouds, grey blue jets. The fireball will add color but it might stand out too much. Maybe an ash wood for the mobile poles and the sides of the clouds would add color without drawing too much attention. I'll be checking back. Cheers!

They look good, but I still think the flat ones looked better

where the string connects to the plane is weird.
great idea though.

critique mine?
www.threadless.com/critique/15137/Mikey_and_the_Monster

love it! $5 the only thing is the lines for the explosion seem really big.

vote when it's up!
http://www.threadless.com/submission/152952/S0_Where_do_we_go_now

I like the wooden/flat clouds more than these puffier ones. It seems more in kind with the flat look of the planes. I don't think it really NEEDS colour - it looks great like it is. This is the kind of shirt I think my little brother would get a kick out of...

Tried a painty kind of fill, by printing out the linework, and painting it in, scanning and using a vector trace.

I think I need to use a rough paint fill for the clouds, now they just seem a bit to clean.

I'm not into the rough fill, doesn't really depict the real-life edges of a mobile. I think you need the realism to spoof the actual object.

I thought you did the outline versions in illustrator but I guess you drew it all by hand. Nice drawing by the way, it had me fooled. You could take the line drawing scan into photoshop and color it in there. All the areas are outlined so you could just select each area and drop whatever color you want into them.

What program did you do the vector trace it?

I drew the linework in illustrator, there is no way I could wield a wacom like that.

Last couple of versions of Illustrator have a feature called Live Trace, which I am officially in love with.

Sorry, I thought you hand drew it, I wasn't thinking of wacom. I'm only somewhat familiar with Live Trace but see its potential, I'll have to keep at it.

So, I guess my question is, why not add the color more uniformly like they would be on a mobile? I guess I'm just not understanding your choice of a rough painterly look?

Its something I'm playing with that kind of suggests a handpainted and screenprinted feel, but I think the colors need to be more colorful for it to work.

The exploding plane is too confusing. The top of the mobile is a little weird too, but I like the messy style.

well i don't know if you want to make the clouds rough too....will the whole thing still look like a mobile if its rough like that? i think smooth and clean is best. I like what you did to outline the smoke. so yeah make up YOUR mind which way you'll go and see what it looks like and which is best to the eye.

Vote before it's too late! Thanks for your help with this...
http://www.threadless.com/submission/152952/S0_Where_do_we_go_now

I agree with chlobo107 maybe add something to the top of the mobile... like an attachment of some sorts


critique mine?
http://www.threadless.com/critique/15720/All_These_Symbols_Are_Confusing

Sorry I have been away for a while.
Do people think this fits the theme of "Old Fashioned Fun" fot the loves comp?

This is an update with some minor tweaks.

Would this fit the 'Old Fashioned Fun' comp theme?
Mobiles are retro, and wholesome, Im just not sure if the fighter jets are too modern.