I really want to make this work. I'm not sure where to place it on the t and I don't know if the "learning to write letters" font is really working.



Suggestions would be much appreciated.

I like the letter format, but it did take me a minute to realize that the swingset was making an M.



I would put it on the top middle of the shirt.

People are going to tell you to get rid of the text, so you'll have to decide how important that is to the design. . .

As for the image, no offense but if you want it to work it will have to be drawn a lot better, preferably more simple and clean as well. And some color would be nice; it's pretty boring as is with just the lines on baby blue. Just trying to give you advice.

yes, more colors is key

the "learning to write lines" are sometimes 2 different colors



I would explore other positions for the boy:



Think about what's just happened or the story you might illustrate. Did he swing around the bar? Did he jump off and is flying through the air? or is he on the ground either landing or falling?

*are key

you're definitely onto something. like others have said, the lines behind the text should probably be blue and red (like those sheets used to be) it took me a while to get what you were saying (i got it when the comment above mentioned that the swingset was a M), so you might want to make it a little clearer. if you don't want to change the position of the boy, you could always try making him younger? maybe it's just a personal thing, but since you have the theme of learning to write, it would make sense if he was little. great start and good luck!

no... it's too complicated is what i think

tying the swings up does not make him a master, and the font is not working. do something slightly different..

Agreed, it's hard to read the M. I wondered if it said "Swing Taster", which would be an unpleasant occupation.

hmm i too was rather confused by the text, i didnt realise the swingset was part of it... i just read it as "I am the swing aster", to which I let out an overexaggerated "huuuuh???"



the drawings nice though jen, and I'd like to see the design developed, possibly without the phrase... cause I feel its not realy necessary.



Perhaps add a line of crying children waiting in line to swing. Take that children!

haha

thanks guys!

maybe if the boy is standing on the swing holding onto the chains to emphasise the "m"? i kinda like the writing tho.

ok, I may be the only one who thinks this--and that's fine--but I like shirts that are really simple with one detail portion. For example, I would leave it all as is, but add detail to the kid (colors, shading, etc.). I'm only one vote though, so that's up to you and the mob.

I like the wrting.

And I agree with mcgowen.

I really like the whole idea, including the text.



The reason the learning-to-write lines ought to have color is that they shouldn't look like the kid drew them, which right now it does.



I don't know if it needs full color in the figures or not, but it needs *something* to make the "M" more obvious, because it took me a while, too. If not color, then maybe it could be done with strategic thickening of the lines.

can't tell what the word is supposed to be. Maybe "disaster"...

^that's what i thought too.



it might help to fill in the bars on the side to pull more attention to the letter M



interesting idea