Hmm, I wonder.. What happened to these bathing birds?





I case you can\'t make it out, the whole thing is set \'inside\' the mouth of a cat.

This is great, but it is a little hard to tell that it was a cat at first.



That one bird on the right seems a bit awkard. I guess its supposed to be inside the birds mouth already?

there should be a little bird or two hopping inside on the tongue.



but in order to show its a cat a little more obvious. I think maybe just a little more detail is needed outside of the mouth, like maybe the chin.. some whiskers..

i got it was a cat at first sight but i do see how it can be a problem, agree with danielle about details or maybe eyes (though you probab dont want eyes and thats why you didnt put them in the first place :/ ) maybe one or 2 birds still outside?



http://www.threadless.com/critique/10599/ad_astra_spasea

the whiskers help a lot. and i think the little bird looking up is great.



the whiskers need a little work i think, i think they should be a little more organic then just the stroke.



and Im not sure about the blue working with the face of the kitty, maybe introduce a new color for that.

Alright, thanks. I think you're right, thats why I felt the whiskers weren't right.



I'll see what I can do.

so is this a giant cat eating regular size birds and a fountian?

No, this is a scene with a fountain and a couple birds.

What happened to the birds? They got eaten by the cat.

The cat's mouth just shows the second thing that happened, and also serves as a background for the first scene.



Kinda hard to explain what exactly I mean xD

what was the 2nd thing? i like it - im just lost

The second thing would be the birds getting eaten by the cat.



new version coming up.

New version.

Changed the whiskers, removed the blue from the face of the cat.



Added a furlike texture, which also serves as bushes/tree on the inside scene.

Is it better with or without tree?





Bigger version:

http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/8872/catbirdsbigpi4.png

The whiskers are way better, I like it a ton more without the blue in the cat features, and I like the tree version.. that far right tooth is causing a tangent though with the fur, so either extend the tooth, or extend the furtree so they dont meet up like they are now.



Thanks for commenting on my critique.. there is a new version up, btw.. please take a look.

Oh right, I missed a spot, gotta shape that up a bit.

i prefer the no tree version, think that might be just a matter of taste

New version. Finetuned some shapes here and there.





Also 2 versions again, one with a gradient, one without. Which is better?

I like the bottom version on that one.

I like the top but they are both very cool nice work =0)

Ah, devided opinions xD



I like both versions, but it needs something... Any pointers?

Have you tried the nose in #77373D on the bottom version?

I dont like the gradient.. but i very rarely like gradients.

I just tried the darker red for the nose, but that way it just stands out too much. Thanks for the suggestion though.

I like it without the gradient.

How about some feathers on the back of the shirt? Would that be nice?

wow great idea! And very nice work on it too.

Latest version.



Added a couple of feathers with some blood on the back of the shirt.

Any good?

Oi, I noticed I missed the little plants, theyre the wrong colour.

Gotta fix that.

Im not sure about the blood.. but I was wondering about bringing some of that blue from the front onto the back.. maybe for the shadows?

Good idea, using the blue on the back.



How's this?

would it not make sense if it was reversed.. the blue for the feathers and the orange for the shadow..



but this works too, but looks more like the feathers are sitting in saliva or water from the fountain the shadows.. maybe its an issue with the values although the values do look close.. I dunno.. lol..

i like it! blue under the feathers looks fine to me. Great job on this!!

Yeah, true. Kinda looks like theyre on water right now. Might be ok, but not really what I had in mind.

New version coming up.



Thanks alot for your help so far :D

I think it looks great! I love the version with the gradient in the mouth. Maybe try one with eyes on the shoulder of the shirt. Some really expressive eyes could either make or break this. Killer idea though. I think you could do quite well subbing it how it is.

New one, with the 2 versions. I'd like some more opinions about which one to put on the back.





@.MINUS.

Thanks.

I could try something with eyes, but I think placing them on the shoulders would totally weirdly stretch out the cat's face. But thanks for the idea, I still could try this.

they both look good, but if you dont want it to look like water then go with the orange.

New colours.



Bottom one is the original.

I think I like the right one most.

i like the mouth color of the first one and the green in the second. this is a cool idea i'd like to see how it's going to work on a shirt. and maybe add some eyes?

I like the original, but I also like the green..

Latest version.





Added a small backdrop in the middle scene, which has a cat watching the birds. This is the outline of the cat that eventually eats the birds.



Eye's are not going to happen, sorry. For me, it just distracts too much from the idea of the cat eating the birds, and makes it look more like theres a giant cat eating a fountain and some birds.

Oh yeah, bigger version:

http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/3497/biggerhg3.png

Oh, and I just noticed, the bird on the branch should be a bit smaller for the tree to make any sense. Right?

Ok, fixed the bird.





Any more thoughts on this?

there is still the issue of the tooth tangent.. its not as severe now but it is still there if you were to bring the fur/tree out a little more that would do it.



The line under the cats tongue is a mistake right?



Everything else looks good.

Yeah that's a little mistake, pasted it over an other image.



Gonna fix that tooth again.

Alrighties. Can I call this final for the design part?

Gonna do the presentation of this tomorrow, then I guess it's submitting time :D





Added some music notes to the front bird, he's happily singing, suspecting nothing. The bird in the back is wondering what the heck it is he sees.

Oh yeah, and the big version:

http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/3742/finalshirttttttttttbigic6.png

haha. I was expecting something bad when i clicked but this is waaay awesome. Reserved $5.

i think it's good. at first i couldn't really see the cat but i was amazed when i did. good work :)



http://www.threadless.com/critique/11622/Lucky_Clover

I think its great.. you should submit



could you take another look at my critique

Alright, thanks alot or the help people, gonna make the presentation now, and submit it.

Ok, so here it is, the final thing.

nicely done.



i think it's ready to go, but the presentation is too confined. you'll be able to spread those dimensions up to 800 pixels long. that way your model wont be in the way of the design.

Ok, made it bigger, thanks for that.

Another try, perhaps reuploading the image here helps it show up on the submission-in-progress.

gif version, probably what caused the whole thing, the filesize.

And it is up for voting :D



http://www.threadless.com/submission/145840/What_happened_to_the_birds