i'm thinking of adding more detail. also i'm not sure about the musical notes.

no love?

I think the musical notes need some work. They look funny where they emerge from the bird's mouth.

I agree with dorian mode. also the birds eye needs work.

i only changed the bird a bit. i'm not sure that bird's eyes really look like that though. expect more changes to the white swirly stuff when i'm not feeling lazy, sickly, and worried about finals.

bump

the bird looks sad

Yeah, bird's eyes aren't like that, but I really like them anyways.



I really love this design, but the color of the city doesn't quite jive to me. I'd like to see it in a really grayed out version of the bird's blue, perhaps. Also, since everything else has such a hand-drawn look, the notes might be better if you drew them yourself.

yeah i don't know how to make the bird look happier. i have to work on that.

I like the concept but the bird seems out of place- maybe replace it with a person playing an instrument or some other musical animal. Or a car with a siren or horn blairing. I don't know- just suggestions- but I love the musical theme.

this is a really nice drawing---if you wanted to make the bird look happier, all you would have to change would be the line above the eye.

that bird's missing some toes too. perhaps intentional? it doesn't look bad that way, just a little awkward. perching birds have three toes pointing forward and one pointing back.

The bird's sad eyes bother me. Otherwise, great.

i really like this. it's a lonely sad bird singing it's song. :D

is this too weird? yes its too weird.



its five in the morning. i don't know what i'm doing with this.

bump? i'm getting needs work votes, but no comments guys.

i liked the music notes and the eye still looks weird. make the line turn downwards not upwards and make his beak curve slitghtly up as well. he still looks upset. also the lines look like they're coming out of the point on the upper part of his beak and not like he's breathing them out. i think the bird fits fine, this is really close to being a great design keep at it

is the bird supposed to be singing because it doesn't look like it. maybe adding music notes or something, but i think this is a nice design though.

i think the music notes are necessary, it made your other two versions more legible. maybe if you hand drew them they would fit in with the overall style more?

ok so i agree, music notes are a must. i took them out in v3 because i thought they were sort of cliche. but you guys are right.



so, should iwould need to fix the light white part, but should the lines of the music be flying around like that? or more like in v1 and v2?



also. i accidentally saved the 640 x 800 pixel version over my fullsized version. i'm really really pissed. i now i have to go back and redo it all from my sketches to get a large size image.

bumpy bumpy...

no comments for me?

What if you added small impressions of music notes throughout the music current? When I first saw this, I thought it's was like some time of strong wind blowing through the city.



I like the style though, and the colors too.

i think notes should be throughout the design not just at the end

whew that was hard to get to upload...



i added more musical notes, but most of the ones that are in front of buildings don't really show up.

the lighter yellow color behind the scales/notes at the very top are sort of weird looking, maybe make them more wispy? also, something about the bird bothers me, but i'm not quite sure what it is... sorry @_@

thanks. i agree about the light yellow color you are refering to. that was sort of done quickly. is the problem that the bird looks expressionless?

Nice idea! But try placing it onto a shirt, it will make lot of differences... TQ



Comment are appreciate

http://www.threadless.com/critique/12755/Cloud_Seven

Sorry wrong link, this is mine:



Comments are appreciate

http://www.threadless.com/critique/13090/Love_At_First_Sight

I think the faded colour behind the lines should be more wispy like in version three.

so obviously i have only done that top part but what do you guys think of something like this?

i like it with those swirls broken up at the ends. maybe try a different color for the buildings? also maybe have the light yellow follow the white lines all the way to the birds mouth.

yes i'm planning on doing that, i'm just trying to get a style for what the yellowish white part is going to look like. thanks for the input.

ahhhh i hate it when people randomly say don't submit...

i can has helps?

consider redesigning the bird so its a bit more realistic

I think this is a good design with lots of potential. It's safe to say that it's not really my style, but I like it. I see you have focused much on the notes and I think they are really good. Therefore my suggestions focus on other things.



The bird looks a bit angry in my taste and kinda ruins the bright and happy feeling of this piece. I would rework the eyes so it looks a bit more happy. Also the tree branch looks a bit odd. It's the only (piece of) tree in the picture and otherwise the atmosphere is very urban. Put a couple of extra trees next to the houses to give the piece a more natural look.



The colors of this design is also very bright. They don't bring out the details really well. Add more contrast to the houses (and the suggested trees). I would also change the beige color to something else, something more reddish perhapse? The "out-of-margins" painting does not show so good on the building also.



Overall i'm intrested how this turns out and i'm looking forward to your next version.

as a musician, i get nit-picky about designs depicting notated music.



my only gripe, since this really has developed nicely over these versions, is that the all of the notes shown have flags pointing upwards. in notated music, notes on or below the third (middle) line of the staff are pointed downwards with the flag on the right side of the stick (same side as if the stick was pointing upwards).



you can see what i mean here.



best of luck. this looks great!

this image, specifically, will help aide my description.

ooops. my description was backwards:



notes on or below the third (middle) line of the staff are pointed downwards



that should read: notes on or below the middle line or the staff are pointed UPwards... therefore, notes above the middle line of the staff are pointed DOWNwards.



my apologies.

i really like the composition a lot. the bird could be reworked. give it a bit more energy. i'd also hand-draw the staff lines and notes.

thanks iDan. you are very very right.



also, i'll try to work on the bird.



as far as the trees in the city and new color for the city idea goes, we'll see. i don't want the city to be "natural". originally i wanted the city to be really urban with this life swirling through it.

so i had to redo the whole thing anyway, since as i mentioned earlier i deleted the hi res file on accident and was working on a 640 by 800 file...oops. so yeah since i had to redo it...i went a little crazy.



i flipped some of the music notes over, but left a few "wrong" because the tails are prettier...



i also adjusted the birds eye again.

see version ten is black, but the details are all the same so look at it for a close up. also look to earlier version for possible yellow color combo.



i don't know about this. how do you feel about the rainbow thing?

i liked it much more on yellow. that would receive a much higher score than the two new ones. get a few more opinions, though.

hmm. opinions? i do like the yellow, i just felt like the white didn't stand out enough. and i like the idea of the song bringing life to the city. or something. for sure i don't like the black version...

I actually really like the latest one, The colors stand out much more compared to the others. But the yellow shirt looks great also

i absloutely love the colors. it's an awesome design



http://www.threadless.com/critique/13334/Lil_Emo_Skull

looks great :D i love the use of colour



think you could take a look at mine?

http://www.threadless.com/critique/13464/Music_Is_Love

Looks awesome! But i'd draw bird better, without traspassing the line :)



See my design at: http://www.threadless.com/critique/13279/Harakiri